Running requires a significant amount of work. We can always hear athletes say that it’s all about blood, sweat, and tears. There’s a lot of stress in a marathon, but there’s no reason you can’t crack these jokes and have a great time. That’s why athletes sometimes need a little more encouragement. Here you can find funny running jokes perfect for a good laugh.
We also have these jokes that are perfect for funny runners!
We share with you:
Funny Running Jokes
For the rest of the track, it could be a good idea to save your energy. You’ll be laughing so hard that you’ll forget to take a breath when you hear the best running jokes. Have fun!
What happens to a person if they run in front of a car?
They become tire-d.
Laugh more: Funny Car Jokes
What happens to a person if they run behind a car?
They get exhaust-ed.
Did you hear what happened at the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was always ahead, and the tomato was playing ketch-up.
How did the barber come first in the race?
He took a shortcut.
What do you call a runner who keeps choking on water puns while running a marathon?
A bad case of running gags.
Why are Scandinavians considered to be the best runners across the globe?
Because they start near the Finnish line.
Why was the runner in the marathon stopped and taken to jail?
He was resisting a rest.
what did a runner’s wife give him when he came home all sweaty?
She gave him the stink eye.
Why should you avoid having a runner as a potential juror?
Because then, you’ll have a runaway jury.
What do you call a prank pulled by a coach on his track runner?
A running gag.
What is the one thing that track coaches and dentists have in common?
They both use drills.
Why did the podiatrist make his patients wait a long time before calling them?
Because time is supposed to heel all wounds.
If you cut Usain Bolt, what does that make you?
A bolt cutter.
Which type of race is never run?
A swimming race.
Do you know who invented running marathons?
The human race.
why were pets not allowed to compete in the marathon?
Because they are not part of the human race.
Funny Running Puns
Even while there are enough 5k jokes and marathon jokes to go around, there’s nothing that will cheer up a marathon runner like some good old-fashioned running puns. Have a look at these jokes.
My father would never give money to charities organizing marathons because,
according to him, they would always take your money and run.
Two cowardly sprinters got into a fight after the marathon.
I heard it was a hit and run.
The army tank was moving surprisingly fast.
This was because the driver was wearing a racerback tank.
At the intercontinental sports meet,
the most self-proclaimed sprinters came from the country of Iran.
I wanted to tell you one of my running jokes,
but it somehow ran away.
It has been a long-standing tradition in our family to participate in a marathon every year;
I guess it runs in our genes.
The married couple always ran marathons together because they were the running mates.
The running shoes would last for two years- that was the gua-ran-tee!
One should never train for sprints.
That way, athletes would only win in the short run.
Sprinter and time are not the best of friends because sprinters always race against time.
The runner with a terrible cough and cold beat the others in the race because the cold made him feel extra runny.
I recently completed a running cross country marathon in the middle-east as Iran to Iraq.
I don’t particularly appreciate running marathons because it gives me the runs.
Long-distance runners usually are good students because their education pays off in the long run.
Even though I got some running shoes to get fit,
I am so out of shape that I can’t even keep up with them.
All the marathon runners were disappointed that the race had been canceled- another run bites the dust.
The baseball batter practices at his home treadmill whenever he gets the time because he loves his home runs.
Dogs and cats are not allowed to run a marathon because they are not part of the human race.
There was this guy in the neighborhood who would never stop running.
He was known around these parts as the jogger-naut.
The favorite subject of a marathon runner in high school is jog-raphy.
Running Jokes One Liners
Consider these hilarious running jokes one-liners as inspiration. They could even inspire you to run as fast as your running hero does.
It’s rude to count people as you pass them.
Out loud.
Run.
Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first.
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
Runner’s logic: I’m tired.
Let me go for a run.
Run like there’s a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you.
I consider my refusal to run today as resistance training.
Slow runners make fast runners look good.
Thank you.
If found on ground, please drag to finish line.
Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people.
Jogging is for people who aren’t intelligent enough to watch television.
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Running a marathon takes balls, other sports just play with them.
Long-distance running is 90% mental and the other half is physical.
Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second.
I like my morning run more than I like most people.
I run because punching people is frowned upon.
I’ve got 99 problems but I’m going running to ignore them all for an hour.
Short Running Jokes
To bring your humor skills up to speed, check out these short running jokes. Share these jokes about running for more laughs.
Step one to running a marathon:
You run.
There is no step two.
Running a marathon takes balls, other sports just play with them.
After an hour on the treadmill…
What year is it?
Please ignore the faces I make while running.
I didn’t train all that time just to come here and get it over with as fast as I can.
I may run at the speed of turtles swimming through peanut butter.
But I run.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you’re marathon training.
Laugh more: Funny Pizza Jokes
Run?
I thought they said rum!
I love to run because I love to eat.
I’m only doing this so I can post about it on Facebook.
To be healthy you need to eat right, go for a run, and post about it on Facebook.
Is your name Charity?
Because my heart is racing for you!
I’m introverted, but willing to discuss running.
I’ve got 99 problems, so I went on a run to ignore them all.
I like my morning run more than I like most people.
Do you think I’m crazy if I run?
You’d SEE crazy if I didn’t run!
Funny Runner Jokes
It takes a lot of practice to be a good runner and you need to take it seriously. We hope you find these jokes about runners amusing enough to tell others.
What do runners like to eat before a big race?
They eat fast food.
Laugh more: Funny Burger Jokes
What does a runner in the last place drink to help them?
Ketch-up.
What do runners do as a brain workout?
They jog their memory.
Why did the trainer make the runner workout in the sun?
He wants him to feel the burn.
Why was the skinny woman jogging backward?
Because she wanted to gain weight.
Which way do crazy runners go if they get lost?
They take the psycho-path.
Why do runners refuse to take a nap during a race?
Because if you snooze, you lose.
Why do birds go running early in the morning?
Early bird gets the worm.
What do athletes eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast.
What do athletes lose after they win a huge race?
Their breath.
If you refuse to go running one day, what type of training are you doing?
Resistance training.
What do you call a couple that runs a marathon without leaving each other’s side?
Running mates.
Why do joggers not get bummed out after a breakup?
Because they had a good run.
Why did the track runner not get out of bed?
He was fast asleep.
Funny Track Jokes
Are you into sporting events? You better take a look at these track jokes that will make you laugh so hard. This compilation of jokes about track and field sports is great for all ages.
Where do you find the chattiest track athletes?
At discus.
Which track event it caffeinated?
Java-lin.
Laugh more: Funny Coffee Jokes
How do you gain ten seconds on the person you’re racing?
Untie their shoelaces.
How do you gain twenty seconds on the person you’re racing?
Tie their shoelaces together.
Why did the Scandinavians win the relay race?
They started near the Finnish line…
Which mobile phone carrier do track stars use?
Sprint.
Why was the sprinter never allowed to season the soup?
Too many dashes.
Which city has the most relay racers?
Baton Rouge.
Why can’t you hear runners when they’re training?
They wear sneakers…
How do you gain one second on the person you’re racing?
Tell them their shoelaces are untied.
Which track event was Thor the champion?
Hammer throw.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a head and the tomato tried to ketchup.
How did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut.
What do you call treadmill free?
The road…
What did the runner drink when she was in last place?
Ketchup.
Why did the pig lose at the track meet?
He pulled a HAM string.
What do runners put on their nachos?
PACE picante sauce.
How did the cabbage do at the track invitational?
It was a head the whole time…
Laugh more: Funny Food Jokes
How do runners see at night?
With electrolytes.
Why did the relay team like to run along the ocean?
For the Endolphins.
Why did the runner need a loan?
Oxygen Debt
Where do crazy sprinters like to run?
On the psycho path.
What should slow runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
What was the runner’s favorite school subject?
Jog-raphy.
Laugh more: Funny School Jokes
Marathon Jokes
No one should underestimate the difficulty of running a marathon. Laughter might be the most effective tool for getting through tough situations. Check out the best marathon jokes to get you in the mood.
I’d hate to run a marathon.
They just look so hard to organise.
Me, to the cop: You can’t arrest me. I have a marathon to run today!
Cop: Stop playing the race card!
I guess my nose is training for a marathon.
It’s been running since morning.
We’re always making fun of our friend who threw up during a marathon.
It’s a running gag.
Seriously, do not mess with a marathoner.
They run the streets.
I’m going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson.
I’m not sure which race yet.
Did you hear about the Мexican guy who ran that marathon?
He juan.
Laugh more: Funny Mexico Jokes
I‘ve decided to run a marathon for charity.
I didn’t want to do it at first, but apparently it’s for blind and disabled kids so I think I’ve got a good chance of winning.
Why did the marathon runner end up in jail?
For resisting a rest.
I kept telling a pun to the passersby during a marathon.
It was a running joke.
My friend Ty came in first in the Beijing marathon,
but he wasn’t given the gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to recognize Ty won.
Is it really that wrong to hate an entire race?
I just find marathons waaaaay too long to enjoy any part of them.
Training for a marathon can be hard work…
But it’ll be good for you in the long run.
I’m like a cross between a marathon runner and a sprinter.
I can jog short distances.
I’m binge-watching this show and they keep doing bits about marathons.
Guess it’s some sort of running joke.
Abebe Bikila famously won the 1960 Olympic marathon while running barefoot.
Do you think his opponents tasted defeat?
How do you know if someone runs marathons?
Don’t worry, they’ll freakin’ tell you!
Funny Cross Country Jokes
Everyone likes cross country running jokes. Cross country running is an outdoor activity where teams and individuals compete on dirt, mud, or grass courses. Take a look and have fun!
What do cross country runners put on their nachos?
PACE picante sauce.
How did the cabbage do at the cross country invitational?
It was a head the whole time…
How do runners see at night?
With electrolytes.
Why did the cross country team like to run along the ocean?
For the Endolphins.
Why did the runner need a loan?
Oxygen Debt.
Laugh more: Funny Money Jokes
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath.
What should slow runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
Why was the cross country team running backwards?
They wanted to gain weight!
Why can’t you hear cross country runners when they’re training?
They wear sneakers…
How do you gain one second on the person you’re racing?
Tell them their shoelaces are untied.
How do you gain ten seconds on the person you’re racing?
Untie their shoelaces.
Why did the Scandinavian win the cross country race?
He started near the Finnish line…
How do you gain twenty seconds on the person you’re racing?
Tie their shoes together with their laces.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a head but the tomato was trying to ketchup.
How did the barber win the cross country race?
He took a short cut.
If 5 monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?
Five after one.
What might you get if you run in front of a car?
Tired.
What’s another name for a free treadmill?
Outside.
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted.
Why shouldn’t you let a jogger be a juror?
Because you’ll end up with a runaway jury.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s harder to run in triangles!
Laugh more: Funny Dog Jokes
Cold Running Jokes
Running is a tough sport to master. Laughter, on the other hand, is one of the finest methods to get through a grueling running session. Check out the best running jokes!
Running late in the morning no frost on the windshield.
Well, I never claimed to be Logical.
We don’t need a reason.
We need a road.
I am the cold shiver running down your spine.
If it’s too cold for a run you’re obviously not a runner.
There’s no such thing as bad weather.
It’s only cold if you’re standing still.
Cold weather makes your nose run.
Cold weather runners are beasts.
Dirty Running Jokes
These dirty running jokes for runners are perfect! Share with friends and have a good laugh.
If you’re on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes, we are racing.
If you see me collapse, pause my watch
Get honked at more when running than driving, runner problems.
What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone without dressing.
Laugh more: Funny Food Jokes
The only time it’s okay for a man with a gun to tell you to take your pants off
I run because punching people is frowned upon
why did the sperm cross the road?
”Because I put on the wrong sock this morning”
When I ask a nonrunner friend if they want to run with me
Why is Cinderella so bad at playing football?
She runs away from the ball.
Laugh more: Funny Disney Jokes
Whenever I go running I meet new people…
like parademics.
Summary
To provide our readers with some amusing and family-friendly jokes and puns, we’ve put together a selection of our favorites. If you like our choices for running jokes, you may want to check out other compilations of jokes.
- Coffee Puns and Jokes
- What Do You Call a Man Jokes
- Funny Questions (and answers)
- Funny Mum jokes
- Jokes for Teens (that are funny!)
- Funny quotes
- Funny Clean Jokes
- Love Jokes
- Science Jokes
- Bar Jokes
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