Best Funny Quotes and Sayings

Best Funny Quotes and Sayings – to JOY UP your day (and your friends)

Welcome to the best funny quotes and sayings 2024compilation! I love a good laugh, and I love to share it too. So I thought I would collect the extremely funny quotes of all times that make me smile in a single article so you can also have a good time, share them and send them to your friends.

We also have collected the best funny jokes here. Cause life is too short for bad jokes!

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Funny quotes short

Short fun quotations do not mean short laughs. Quite the opposite. As it is so easy to remember because they are short, you produce more laughs. Let’s get the laughing party starts it.

Read more: Little Johnny Jokes

Gym? I thought you said gin!

Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.

I scream for ice cream.

When nothing goes right, go left.

Funy pun left right

Wine + dinner = winner

Did it for the memories – totally worth it!

Do I run? Yes… Out of time, patients and money.

Read more here: Inspiring Money Quotes

Mom: Why is everything on the floor?

Me: Gravity!

Recovering from Chocolate addiction.

There’s no “we” in fries

Toes in the sand, and a cocktail in the hand.

Chocolate never asks me any questions, chocolate understands.

Why is the summer always so short?

Read: best beach and summer captions

Dear Sunday, please don’t leave me.

I need a 6 month holiday, twice a year.

My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The last time I was someone’s type, I donated blood.

I’m best served with coffee and a side of sarcasm.

Laugh more: Funny Coffee Jokes

Trying to watch more sunsets than Netflix.

I like hashtags, because they look like waffles.

I’m cool, but global warming made me HOT.

5’2 is my height but my attitude is 6’1.

“Be strong,” I whisper to my WiFi signal.

“Be strong,” I whisper to my WiFi signal.

Short funny quotes about life

Life quotes can help us go through those days that suck. Personally, when I am down I try to look for very short funny quotes about life that will put a smile on my face or motivate me to get off the bed at least. Then I can go and pretend the world is good again (at least for a while).

The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.

Laugh more: Funniest Weekend Jokes

Life is short…smile while you still have teeth.

The hardest thing I ever tried is being normal.

Today I will be as useless as letter “g” in lasagna.

I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

Do EPIC shit.

I do a thing called “What I want”.

I always prefer my puns to be intended.

My stomach is flat, the L is just silent.

My stomach is flat, the L is just silent.

I am sorry, did I roll out my eyes out loud?

I drink to make other people more interesting.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

When I act like i don’t give a fuck I am not acting.

When I am upsetti I eat some spaguetti.

For more laughs, check our food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious!

Know what’s in the menu?


Trust me, you can dance.

Signed: Vodka.

Spent a large portion of my life eating.

Will do the same in my next life.

It’s possible that I’m eating frosting with a spoon.

I don’t care what people think of me.

Mosquitos find me attractive!

Caffeine is the foundation of my food pyramid.

Life is too short to wear boring undies.

Life is too short to wear boring undies.

Funny quotes on life

Do you imagine your life as a run? If so, definitely make it a marathon. The goal is there but doesn’t forget to enjoy the process. Add an extra dose of patience and funny life quotes to share happiness all around.

We are born naked, hungry and wet.

Then things just get worse.

My relationship status?

Netflix, Oreos, and sweatpants.

Sarcasm is not an attitude.

It is an art.

Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.

I got 99 problems but avocado toast solved like 85 of them.

When I’m downie I eat a brownie.

After Tuesdays, even the calendar goes WTF.

Read: FUNNY Tuesday Jokes (so you can make it to Weekend!)

After Tuesdays, even the calendar goes WTF.

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.

A cop pulled me over and told me “Papers”, so I said “Scissors, I win!” and drove off.

Going to bed early. Not going to a party… childhood punishments has become my adult goals.

A blind man walks in a cafe.. and a table, and a chair.

My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.

With great power comes great electricity bill.

With great power comes great electricity bill.

Love Quotes

Love is part of our lives. Sometimes we think we need more love… In that case, look inside you, there is always more love in there! Once you love yourself, you will be able to share love all around. Try to find other people who are not afraid to radiate and spread this fuel of life.

I love you more than pizza.

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin me.

Being with you is acting like always is summer.

WiFi + food + You in my bed = PERFECTION.

Love is friendship set on fire. In a good way…

I can resist everything except temptation.

Life is too short for a boring S** Life.

I want to be with you til my last page.

I want you today, tomorrow, next week, next year and for the rest of my life.

My best love was chocolate.

Then you came around.

My favorite part of the day is going to bed with you and to wake up next to you.

Only with you, it’s special.

The world is a book.

Wanna read it together?

You’re the avocado to my toast. And I love Avocados!

You’re the avocado to my toast. And I love Avocados

Hilarious quotes to share with your BF

Best friends are the best. The ones who are there any time. Whether you need them or not. Why not sending a funny quote to them if you think they need to amuse their day? Here you have some of the funniest quotes you can send them.

Read more: Funny BEST Friend Jokes That Will Knock Them Over!

I smile because I got no idea what’s going on.

Life is too short to remove USB safely.

ETC. End of Thinking Capacity.

Our phone falls, we panic. our friends fall, we laugh.

My heart says Yes, my mom says No.

My heart says Yes, my mom says No.

Just another paper cut survivor.

I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back being me.

Is it me or… Math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles?

If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.

I know the voices in my head aren’t real….. but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

They say don’t try this at home…so I went to my friends home!

I work an unpaid internship as a professional nerd.

I think I’m allergic to Mondays.

I think I’m allergic to Mondays.

Funny quotes for the office

We spend many hours of our lives at the office. In many cases, we see more of our colleagues than our own family members. Therefore, having a good environment there is important. Wanna cheer up your colleague? Try to share one of these funny quotes from the office.

Probably the most talented TV watcher you’ll ever find.

Words cannot express my love and passion for Fridays.

The photos might help.

A Sunday well spent brings a week of content.

I don’t give a ship!

Today is a good day for… cake.

Today is a good day for... cake.

Funny quotes for Instagram

It is shiny but not reel (I mean, real, hope you get the intended pun). Life in the social media might see that it is perfect but we all really need some humor there too. If you are the one looking for adding some fun, try these quotes:

Boyfr(end). Girlfr(end). Fri(end). Humm(us). There is no end with hummus. Just us.

One of the few people on Instagram who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.

I’m starting to like Instagram, which is weird because I hate pictures.

Someday, there’s going to be an updated version of me. Found it already? Let me know!

Wondering how many miles I have scrolled with my thumbs.

Living vicariously through myself.

I woke up and …posted this.

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they will start using it.

They say: Do what you love and the money will come to you. Just ordered pizza, now I am waiting…

If you are funny, you are automatically 75% more attractive. Beauty fades but sarcasm, that shit is forever!

Siri, remove my makeup!

Siri, remove my makeup!

Inspirational quotes

Inspiration awakens us to new possibilities. It gives us strength to transcend our ordinary experiences and / or limitations. When we are inspired, we feel capable of anything. Mix it with humor and you

will be unstoppable.


Don’t quit your DAY dream.

Find comfort in the craziness.

Don’t stop until you’re proud.

Eat, sleep, create.

Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

Don’t rush something you want to last forever.

The word itself says “I’m possible!”

Every day is a second chance.

Fair is where you get cotton candy.

Fair is where you get cotton candy.

Funny quotes from movies

Movies and books gives us so many funny quotations that we can inspiring funny quotes to use in our days. Also, it is a good way to check if the other person you are talking too is also into that movie/series…

Enjoy at least one sunset per day! — Phil,  Modern Family

Read here: Beautiful Sunrise Quotes

“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” — Wanda, A Fish Called Wanda

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” — Jerry Seinfeld

When Jessica Biel becomes pregnant, I hope she names her child “Mo”.

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” – Dale Carnegie

“Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.” – Tina Fey

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” — Benjamin Franklin

“People say I’m difficult and sometimes that’s a badge of honour.” — Bill Murray

“A sense of humor is great – it goes a long, long way in a marriage.” — Chris Rock

“Trying is the first step toward failure.” — Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

"Trying is the first step toward failure." — Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” — Charlie Chaplin

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

“At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” – Ann Landers

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” —Robin Williams

“I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” —Chandler, Friends

“I’m one stomach flu away from my goal weight.” —Emily Charlton, The Devil Wears Prada

“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” —Ace Ventura

“Ignorance brings chaos, not knowledge.” – Lucy

"Ignorance brings chaos, not knowledge." - Lucy

Funny quotes and sayings

You might have heard your grandma or some other friend using some of these funny sayings. If not, you can be the first to use them among your circle. Some of these funny sayings come from Famous people.

“Made with love” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

I am nicer when I like my outfit.

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” — Theodore Roosevelt

“I destroy my enemies when I made them my friends.” — Abraham Lincoln

“When it rains, look for rainbows; when it’s dark, look for stars.” — Oscar Wilde

"When it rains, look for rainbows; when it's dark, look for stars." — Oscar Wilde

If you fall, I’ll be here – Floor

Dance like no one is watching.

“All generalizations are false, including this one.” — Mark Twain

“I’m a very neat Monster” – Dexter

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” — Winston Churchill

“If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of bill payments.” — Steven Wright

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” — George Carlin

“I like my coffee like I like my men. I do not drink coffee.” — Ellen Degeneres

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” —Michael Scott (Steve Carrell), The Office

“My wife made me join a bridge group. I jump off next Tuesday.” — Rodney Dangerfield

“Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brain fall out.” — Groucho Marx

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

Read more here: Best Parents Quotes

I liked it, so it is mine.

Good food = Good mood

Recommended by 4 out of 5 people who recommend things.

“To lose patience is to lose the battle.” — Mahatma Gandhi

"To lose patience is to lose the battle." — Mahatma Gandhi

Funny quotes about quarantine

In 2020 we experienced a quarantine, and that let us to many new memes, videos, tik-toks, and new fun quotes that we started to share on these days.

87% of the gym members do not even know their gym is closed.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Your energy is contagious. Either you affect people or you infect people.

I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

I get enough exercise pushing my luck.

What should I wear to the living room today?

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying.

Laugh more with our FUNNY Airplane Jokes That Are Ready to Take Off!

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

Happy hour! Time for a quaran-tini.

Son: “Why is my sister’s name ‘Paris’?”
Dad: “Because she was conceived in Paris.”
Son: “Thanks, dad.”
Dad: “You’re welcome, Quarantine.”

Laugh more: Funny Sister Jokes

Quarantine funny joke

I don’t like morning people, or mornings, or people.

Adventure is calling, but I can’t come to the phone right now.

You are being presented with two choices: evolve or repeat.

ME: I want to travel

Quarantine: Where? To the balcony?

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.

Is it wine o’clock yet?

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

Be careful what you ask for. Before 2020, many people asked for not going to work.

I miss being late to everything.

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

Summary Coolest short funny quotes

Enough to keep your smile all day long? Laugh more with our Short and Funny Jokes that sting.

In case you need an extra dose of fun and joy check our articles:

Do you have your sayings you would love to add? Go ahead and leave them in the comments below.

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I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh.