99 Funny Animal Jokes (Cats and Dogs)

97 Funny Animal Jokes – From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats

We all know how funny animal jokes can be! From cats, dogs to kangaroos and Elephants, there is so many creative animal riddles, puns and jokes here.
We all know how funny animal jokes can be! From cats, dogs to kangaroos and Elephants, there is so many creative animal riddles, puns and jokes here.

Looking for funny animal jokes? Many of us receive funny cat or dog videos that circulate on the web. No matter how many times we watch them, we still keep laughing because we can’t help – they’re naturally funny. There’s nothing more humorous than watching a dog play with his tail or a cat scared of its reflection in the mirror. How about cats having a fright because of cucumber? All-time mood booster!

But there’s more!  Looking for one-liner jokes about cats and dogs? We sat down to make an awesome jokes collection for you. We have summarized numerous awesome animal jokes for every types.

These jokes are easy to remember, appropriate for kids but also we added at the end animal jokes for adults. Scroll and read more of these funny animal jokes to make your day. Send them to your family or friends to give them a good laugh too!

We are sure you will also love those jokes collection we got.

Zoo Animal Jokes

Let’s start with zoo animal jokes. Of course, you do not have to go to the zoo to say these funny animal jokes. These jokes are with and about Spiders, sheep, tigers, crocodiles and even Lion. Yes, you can do jokes about the King of the Jungle, at least when he’s not listening…


How do spiders communicate?

Through the World Wide Web.

How do spiders communicate?  Through the World Wide Web.


Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa baa shop.


Why are tigers, terrible storytellers?

Because they only have one tail.


What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crook-o-dile.


What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries?

An investigator!


Why don’t they play poker in the zoo?

Too many cheetahs.

Why don't they play poker in the zoo?  Too many cheetahs.


Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.


Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world?

Yes, you mean the shih tzu, right?


What does a spider bride wear for the wedding?

A webbing dress.


How do monkeys get down the stairs?

They slide down the banana-ster!


What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.


How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.


What do you call an angry monkey?

Furious George.

What do you call an angry monkey? Furious George.


Why shouldn’t you take a bear to the zoo?

Because they’d rather go to the cinema!


How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator?

Just open the door and stick him in.


Which side of a cheetah has the most spots?

The outside.


What do you call a talking kangaroo?

A quantum leap.


Why can’t a leopard hide?

Because he’s always spotted!


What do you call a place where the animals practice martial arts?

A Jujit-zoo.


What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny!

What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny!


Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.


Why don’t Penguins like rock music?

They only like sole.


Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?

It was Panda-monium.


There is only one place where you can find exotic animals.

Zoo or False?


How do you save a drowning rodent?

Use mouse to mouse resuscitation.


Why did the whale cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide.


What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tun-a fish.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?  You can tune a guitar, but you can't tun-a fish.


What’s the best thing about deadly snakes?

They’ve got poison-ality.


How do you catch a fish without a fishing pole?

With your BEAR hands.


What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?

A walkie-talkie.


What fish is the best fighter?

The Swordfish.

What fish is the best fighter?   The Swordfish.

Talking Animal Jokes

We have all imagined, those animals talking with each other… The trick to be very funny here is to make different voices and try to do an elaborate onomatopoeia.

And btw, when I talk to my cat, somehow I am always expecting her to reply.


What do rabbits eat for breakfast?

I-HOP.


Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says,

Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?


What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

It’s pasture bedtime.


What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?

Should we walk home or take a dog?


What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

Bi-son!


What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.


Why does a cow wear a bell around its neck?

Because its horns don’t work.


What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?

Lost!


How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut.


What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk!


What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

A thesaurus.


What do you call a famous fish?

A star fish.

What do you call a famous fish? A star fish.


What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?

A box of quackers!


What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.


Why do cows like being told jokes?

Because they like being a-moosed!


What’s the most musical part of a chicken?

The drumstick!


Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?

Because they were watch dogs.


What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow?

Roost beef!


Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don’t know the words.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

Ouch!”

What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? "Ouch!"


Why did the dog sit in the shade?

…because he didn’t want to be a hot dog!


What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower!


Why are fish easy to weigh?

Because they have their own scales.


Why are elephants never rich?

Because they work for peanuts!

Funny Animal Puns

Let’s go with the animalist puns now.


Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose!


What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?

It wasn’t on porpoise!


What did the duck say when buying lipstick?

Put it on my bill.


Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

Why do crabs never give to charity?  Because they're shellfish.


What’s the most useless thing about elephants?

It’s irrelephant.


What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school?

Hisssssstory.


Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll!


What’s the difference between a cow and a car?

A car only has one horn!


How can you make an octopus laugh?

You give it ten-tickles!

How can you make an octopus laugh?  You give it ten-tickles!


Why don’t bears wear shoes?

Because they prefer bear feet!


What did the pony say when he had a sore throat?

“Do you have any water? I’m a little horse.


What’s a cat’s favorite breakfast?

Mice Krispies!


Why did the leopard hate playing Hide and Seek?

Because he was always spotted!


Not feline well?

Call a purramedic.


What did the dolphin say when he was confused?

“Sorry, can you please be more Pacific?


What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A milkshake.


What did the dog say before eating his snack?

Bone a-pet-treat!


Where do monkeys go for drinks?

The monkey bars!

Where do monkeys go for drinks? The monkey bars!


What’s a cheetah’s favorite meal?

Fast food!


Want to scale back on the fish jokes?

Just let minnow!


Why didn’t anyone believe the tiger?

Because they thought it was a lion!


What kind of snake would you find on a car?

A windshield viper!


Where do salmon keep their money?

In a river bank.


What did the spider do on the computer?

Made a website!


What is special about the eucalyptus trees in Australia?

They have exceptional koala-ties!


What is gray and has four legs and a trunk?

A mouse on vacation.

What is gray and has four legs and a trunk?  A mouse on vacation.


What do you call one-hundred rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line!


What jumps up and down on the front of a car to help the driver see at night?

Froglights.


What is black and white and blue?

A depressed zebra.


What do you get when two giraffes collide?

A giraffic jam.


Why did the bear leave the restaurant?

He thought the food was unbearable!

Farm Animal Puns

Looking for some jokes for when you are visiting a farm with your kids and family? Some of them might fall under the category “animal-dad-jokes”. And we all know: Those are the best!


As a farmer, I hear lots of jokes about sheep.

I’d tell them to my dog but he’d herd them all.


What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?

An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood!


Why did the pig leave the costume party?

Because everyone thought he was a boar.


What is black and white and eats like a horse?

A Zebra!

What is black and white and eats like a horse? A Zebra!


What do you call a big who knows karate?

A pork chop!


What’s it called when you shave a crazy sheep?

Shear madness!


Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm?

Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.


Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

Because he was out standing in his field.


My cousin runs a thriving deer farm.

He is really rolling in the doe.


As farmers, we hear a lot of jokes about sheep.

We’d tell them to the dog, but he’d herd them all!


What farm animal keeps the best time?

A watch dog.


Why did the DJ go to Schrute Farm?

To get some freshbeets.


Why can’t the bankrupt farmer complain?

Because he has got no beef.

Because he has got no beef.


My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm!

Yep. It is our bison-tennial.


Did you hear about the wooden tractor?

It had wooden wheels, a wooden engine, wooden transmission and wooden work!


What happened when the farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?

He got a hot-diggity-dog.


I was at a farm on a hot day.

The pigs were bacon.


What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows?

What a miss-steak.

What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows?  What a miss-steak.


Did you guys hear about the investment broker that retired to run a celery farm?

It seems he made a killing on the stalk market.


Farm Animal Jokes

Enough puns. Let us move over to the actual farm animal jokes. These ones are best for every farmer, animal lover and kids. Okay, some of them are not best for vegetarians, but hey, we are working on that.


What do you call a farm when none of the cows give milk?

An udder disaster.


Why do ducks have flat feet?

From stamping out forest fires.


Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas.


What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?

Chicken Caeser Salad (Chicken Sees A Salad)


How is a piece of farm equipment with headlights similar to the Starship Enterprise?

They both have tractor beams!


I lost the blueprints to my honey farm.

Unfortunately I did not have a plan bee.

I lost the blueprints to my honey farm.  Unfortunately I did not have a plan bee.


Wool ewe be my friend?

If you say yes, we’ll have a relation sheep.

Sorry. That was baaaa-d.


Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?

He wanted sweet and sour pork.


Why does a cow-milking farm smell so bad?

Because of the dairy air.


Grain farmers have a tough life.

They barley survive from wheat to wheat.


One of the ants on my ant farm dresses up as a clown to cheer up his friends.

He’s an anti-depress ant.


Where do farmers send their kids to grow?

Kinder-garden.


I just moved to a new house surrounded by horse farms.

It’s a pretty goo neigh-borhood.


My dad told me to stop pretending to be a farm animal.

He was sick of me horsing around.

Animal Jokes for Kids

Kids have also humor and want to tell jokes. Here you have some jokes you can tell your kids:


What do you call a dog magician?

A Labra-cadabra-dor.

What do you call a dog magician?  A Labracadabrador.


Where does a farmer get his medicine from?

The farm-acist.


Why do fish live in saltwater?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!


How does a mouse feel after a bath?

Squeaky clean.


What do you call an elephant that never washes?

A smellyphant.


How do birds fly?

They just wing it!

How do birds fly? They just wing it!


What is a llama’s favorite drink?

Llama-nade.


What is a crocodile’s favorite drink?

Gator-ade.


What to polar bears eat for lunch?

Ice berg-ers!


Why was the bird sad?

Because he’s a bluebird.


What did the hawk say when he fell off the branch?

Well, this is hawkward.


Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools!

Why are fish so smart?  Because they live in schools!

Animal Jokes for 4 Year Olds

The little kids also want to tell some jokes.

Some kids will only remember your voices and mimics more than the joke itself. Let them try to repeat the jokes. You will get some awesome new versions of these jokes! (almost every single time)


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

Ouch!


What is a rabbit’s favorite kind of music?

Hip-hop.

What is a rabbit's favorite kind of music? Hip-hop.


Whats a penguins favorite relative?

Aunt Arctica!


What steps do you take if you a tiger is running towards you?

Big ones!


What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An In-vest-igator.


What do you give a sick pig?

OINK-ment!

One Liners Animal Jokes

Want some quick jokes about animals? Here you have some one line jokes for cats, dogs, even termites. These one-line animal jokes are super easy to remember and sometimes confusing.

So write them down for your next joke-session. Or even better, bookmark this jokes site.


I used to work at a nut farm. The work conditions were great but the salary was peanuts.


Did Noah include termites on the ark?


Jamie the little squid is ink-redibly proud of you!


Everyone can find one person (or three cats) waiting for him.


I’m not saying your perfume is too strong.

I’m just saying the canary was alive before you got here.


Do turtles think that frogs are homeless?3


Just named my dog Tenmiles so now I can say I walk ten miles every day.

Just named my dog "Tenmiles" so now I can say I walk ten miles every day.

Cat Jokes

There are more than just cat videos around the web. Here you have some jokes about cats. But please, do not tell them we have shared these gags with you. Somehow, cats will end up ruling this world….if they do not do already…For even more jokes about cats, check Funny Jokes Today.com


There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out.

How many were left?

None, because they were copycats!


What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!


What do cats have for breakfast?

Mice Crispies!


Why are cats such bad storytellers?

Because they only have one tale!


You’ve got to be kitten me.

Get meow-ta here!


What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show?

A cat-has-trophy!

What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show?  A cat-has-trophy!

Dog Jokes

Your best friend for sure has a sense of humor. Our furry and loved friends deserve a full collection of jokes! Here you have some jokes about dogs, including poodles, even fleas and puns with pugs.


How do you say bye-bye to a curly-haired dog?

Poodle-oo!


What dog keeps the best time?

A watch dog!


Occasionally, a true friend gives his paw not his hand…


Where should a dog go for for shopping?

To the Flea Market.


What does a Dalmatian say after dinner?

Thanks, that really hit the spot.


Why was the dog able to jump higher than the building?

Because a building cannot jump.


Every pug tells you: “I do not have Wrinkles…they are my smile lines!”

Every pug tells you: "I do not have Wrinkles...they are my smile lines!"

Animal knock knock Jokes

I know, I know… if you imagine the animals in your head while reading those knock knock jokes it is even funnier!


knock knock.

Who’s there?

Iguana

 Iguana who?

Iguana hold your hand.


knock knock.

Who’s there?

Goat

Goat who?

Goat to the door and find out.

knock knock.  Who's there?  Goat  Goat who?  Goat to the door and find out.


knock knock.

Who’s there?

Alpaca

Alpaca who?

Alpaca the trunk, you pack the suitcase.

Animal Jokes for Adults

Okay, let’s talk about the juicy jokes here. We have already covered a bunch of puns, zoo jokes and one-liners. But we all know, there is some non-clean jokes for adults about animals. That does not mean they are dirty in the way you might think…


What did the elephant say to a naked man?

Hey that’s cute but can you breath through it?


What do elephants and trees have in common?

They both have big trunks!


What did the buffalo say to his little boy when he left for work?

Bi-son.


Which animal are you most likely to meet on Tinder?

A catfish!


What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky!


Why are skunks so emotional?

They are filled with scent-iment.


What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bull-dozer!

What do you call a sleeping bull?  A bull-dozer!


Why did Mozart end up getting rid of his chickens?

Because they kept saying bach bach!


What do you call a monkey with an elephant on his head?

Squashed.


What happens to a toad’s car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away.

Animal Riddles

Wanna challenge your friends or kids if they can guess which animal are you talking about? Here are some animal riddles for kids. You can use them for birthday parties. Read them and get inspired by.

Find more of our best riddles and quizzes here.


I am known as a king
The jungle’s where I reign
It is hard to tame me
And I have a large mane

Solution: TIGER


I like to use my long tongue
To eat leaves from tops of trees
I don’t have to climb up though
With my long neck it’s a breeze

Solution: GIRAFFE


I’m an animal you might love
But I’m too big to be your pet
I have an extremely long trunk
And it’s said I never forget

Solution: ELEPHANT


I am a pet that has four legs
And a tail at the end
You might hear me barking
And I’m known as man’s best friend

Solution: DOG


Animal Jokes in Videos

Finally, some animal videos that you will find difficult to stop watching. These are just summaries of funny situations with animals.

They are named “animals never fail to make us laugh” and “funniest dogs and cats”; and they are right. Click and have a good time.

Our favorite funny animals video is the one below covering cats and dogs.

Find more funny videos here.

Summary for Best Animal Jokes in 2021

I hope by now you love your pet even more. These jokes about and with animals are here to entertain all of us.

Do you have your own one-liners and animal gags? Then come on, do not keep them for yourself. Make us all laugh and share them in the comments.

Jimmy
I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not! Here, have a carrot!