Funny clean jokes make things better. It makes the conversation smoother and it allows for a light conversation between friends and families. These clean jokes are also relatable across ages. So, who won’t like them? Check out all these funny clean jokes you can share in the next bbq night you have with friends, families and your kids!
Short Clean Jokes
Who needs those lengthy clean jokes when you get the same effects with short funny clean jokes? Go for the short ones because the shorter they get, the more clean jokes will you able to get in your head!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.
A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
People say, “I’m taking it one day at a time.” You know what? So is everybody. That’s how time works.
—Hannibal Buress, comedian
Dentist: “You need a crown.”
Patient: “Finally someone who understands me”
Q: Why do cows go to New York?
A: To see the moosicals!
Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.”
Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?”
I chuckled, “Well, that means it’s pasture bedtime!”
A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
Why did Mr. Hass refuse to move to France?
The French are famous for not pronouncing the letter ‘H’.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda pressing.
Funny Jokes to Tell
Can’t help it, we need funny jokes if we want to get the others rolling on the floor laughing. Also, it’s one of the best ways to connect with others and build a connection with other people. Read all these funny clean jokes and use them to make new friends and keep old ones.
What I remember most about my dad’s jokes is my mother’s reaction. While everyone else was howling at one of his punch lines, my mom would always respond,
“Bernard, no one thinks you’re funny.”
Read: Laugh more with these hilarious dad jokes
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer,
the bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
Laugh more with our Eggcellent Food Jokes and Puns.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass?
You look drunk.
If it was a blustery day, you could be sure to hear my dad remarked,
“It was so windy today, I had to wrinkle my forehead and screw my cap on to keep it there!”
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
He is a little shellfish.
When I was in high school in the ’70s, Dad said he’d just heard my favorite group on the radio, Carrying Grain. The band was Hall & Oates, and this gag perfectly sums up my father’s sense of humor.
The definition of a perfectionist: someone who wants to go from point A to point A+.
What do diapers and politicians have in common?
They both stink and need to be changed often.
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless.
What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
“I make mistakes; I’ll be the second to admit it.”
“I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.”
– Tim Vine
Things I overheard at my health club:
“I’m only taking this class so I don’t eat for an hour.”
“Who knew 40 years of neglect would have repercussions?”
“Does this body make me look fat?”
Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each.
— Alex Del Bene
Clean jokes can be hilarious too. You can trust us on that. Use these funny clean jokes to boost your mood or brighten your day. You can even share them to get that frown upside down from other peoples’ faces.
Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleeves.
How does a squid go into battle? Well-armed.
John: How does NASA organize a party?
Lucas: I don’t know.
John: They planet.
Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
(Insert Pic with carrot)
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I’m dressing.
What’s E.T. short for? Because he’s only got little legs.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.
I used to be addicted to soap. But I’m clean now.
Found your hilarious joke of the day? You’re still here and I’m more than glad that you stick until the end. I hope you had a blast reading through all those funny clean jokes because we had a really good time compiling them!
Are you looking for more? Of course, we have more for you.
Since you stayed until the end, here are more jokes for adults and kids to give you more giggles and laughter: