Funny House jokes

Welcome to the Funny House of Jokes, where laughter is always on the menu! We have many hilarious jokes that will tickle your funny bone and leave you in stitches. Our jokes are so funny that even our walls are cracking up!

We take humor very seriously here at the Funny House of Jokes, and we’ve got a team of expert comedians who always cook fresh and funny material. Whether you’re a fan of puns, one-liners, or silly stories, we’ve got something that will make you laugh until your sides hurt.

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Our house of jokes is the perfect place to unwind after a long day or kick off a fun night with friends. And the best part? There’s no cover charge to enter our doors. We believe that laughter is the best medicine, and we want everyone to experience the healing power of humor.

So come on in, sit, and get ready to laugh until your face hurts. Whether you’re feeling down or just need a good chuckle, the Funny House of Jokes is the place to be. We promise you won’t leave disappointed (or with a straight face).

Laugh more: Funny Family Jokes 

Real Estate Puns

Looking for a property that’s pun-derful? You’ve come to the right place!  Look no further than real estate puns! These clever wordplays will have you chuckling and shaking your head in amusement.

Laugh more: FUNNY California Jokes 

The real estate in my neighborhood has become so expensive that only cats can afford it. You need nine lives to pay it off.

I got worried about climate change when realtors in Iowa started advertising their listings as “potential waterfront property.”

My realtor sold me a two-story house. One story before the offer, another story after the offer.

My brother is a real estate agent. He greets me with, “Hey bro, house it going?”

Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest.

You just can’t trust real estate developers. They’re always busy with plots and schemes.

I once decided to buy a baseball stadium. But my agent said he could only give me a ballpark estimate!

The man who invented the door knocker won a no-bell prize.

I have no problem with listings with finished basements. They’re my best cellars!

Did you hear the joke about the roof? I doubt you’d get it. It’s over your head.

Did you hear the joke about the roof I doubt you’d get it. It’s over your head.

Realtors need closure.

Nobody likes the home on Robinhood, it has a little john.

Truckers like to buy houses with long haul ways.

Don’t get a big yard if your wife tires easily.

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

When you buy a home south of the border you don’t peso much.

The man who invented the door knocker won a no-bell prize.

Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest.

My neighbors sprinkler is a constant irrigation to me!

A man’s home is his castle … in a manor of speaking.

A man's home is his castle ... in a manor of speaking.

Household humor

Looking for some household humor to brighten up your day? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Whether you’re a homeowner, renter, or someone who appreciates a good laugh, funny house jokes will tickle your funny bone. So please sit back, relax, and get ready to chuckle as we take a hilarious look at the everyday quirks of living in a house. From never-ending repairs to the constant search for the TV remote, these jokes will have you in stitches in no time. So grab your favorite snack and dive into some funny house jokes!

Laugh more: AMUSING Pantry Jokes

Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house?
 Any kind! A house can’t jump!

Why did the vampire get kicked out of the house?
Because he was a pain in the neck!

What’s the best side of the house to put the porch on?
The outside.

Where did Goldilocks fall asleep?
At the Three Bores house!

Where does a sink go dancing?
The Dish-co

What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney?
You’re too young to smoke!

What do you call 2 witches who share a haunted house?

What do you call a guy lying on your doorstep?

What kind of key opens a haunted house?
A spooKEY.

What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A wide scream TV.

What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house A wide scream TV.

What room is useless for a ghost?
A living room!

Did you hear about the monster who ate his own house?
He was homesick.

How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.

What area of a room is the warmest?
The corner — it’s always about 90 degrees!

What did the dinosaur use to build his house?
A dino-saw

Apartment antics 

Greetings and salutations to “Apartment Antics”! You’ve found your way to the place where the floors are creaky, the walls are thin, and the comedic relief is plentiful. Whether you’re a seasoned pro at apartment living or just starting, we’ve got you covered with relatable stories and humorous anecdotes about the joys and challenges of sharing a building with your fellow humans. So, pull up a chair (or a stack of books if you don’t have any furniture yet), and get ready to laugh, groan, and nod your head in agreement.

Laugh more: FUNNY Wood Puns

I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people living above me are furious.

It’s sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs

I told my girlfriend she has eyes like stars… Very dim and far apart.

This sub is seriously falling apart I knew I should’ve gone to Subway

What is cowhide mostly used for?
Keeping cows from falling apart.

What is cowhide mostly used for Keeping cows from falling apart.

I dated a zombie once. When we broke up, she fell apart

My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment. It’s a little flat.

The pathway next to my apartment building has never been cleaned, it’s made out of garbage Litteralley.

How do bees let guests into their apartment building? They *buzz* them in

I hear they’re building apartment buildings for detectives only. They’re calling them Sherlock Homes.

Funny Kids Jokes

Hey there! Are you looking for a good laugh? Well, you’re in the right place! This section has compiled a list of some of the funniest kid’s jokes around. So sit back, relax, and get ready to chuckle at some hilarious jokes that will bring a smile to your face.

Laugh more: Funny Dad Jokes for Kids

How did the cabbage win the race?
It was a-head.

What kind of award did the dentist receive?
A little plaque.

What did one toilet say to the other?
You look flushed.

What do clouds wear under their clothes?

How do you keep intruders out of a castle made of cheese?

How do you keep intruders out of a castle made of cheese Moatzarella.

What has a head and tail but no body?
A coin.

Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.

Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake.

What did the mom flower say to the little flower?
Hi, bud!

Why was the computer chilly?
It left a window open.

What did the volcano say to the other?
I lava you.

Why are sports stadiums always so cold?
They’re filled with fans.

What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

What does a clam do on his birthday?
He shellabrates.

What does a clam do on his birthday He shellabrates.

Kitchen Quips

Do you enjoy spending time in the kitchen? Well, get ready to add some humor to your cooking routine with these funny kitchen quips! From silly puns to witty one-liners, this collection of jokes is sure to add some laughter to your meal prep. So, put on your apron, grab your utensils, and let’s get cooking with a side of humor!

Laugh more: BEST Kitchen Jokes 

We’ve organized the best of these sayings, so that you can choose the perfect one to hang on your kitchen wall.

“VEGETARIAN” is an old Indian word for bad hunter.

All you need is LOVE and a cup of COFFEE.

Annoying the cook will result in smaller portions.

Clean up after yourselves, House Elves don’t work here…

A watched pot never boils..!!

I have a passion for not cooking.

Cooking is LOVE made Edible.


Happiness is HOMEMADE.

Happiness is HOMEMADE.

The kitchen was clean last week; I’m sorry you missed it.

The onions aren’t making me cry, it’s being in the kitchen in general.

The only time to eat diet food is while you are waiting for the steak.

The secret ingredient is ALWAYS cheese.

Today’s menu has two choices: TAKE IT or LEAVE IT.

Homeowner comedy

Homeownership can be a fulfilling and rewarding experience, but it can also come with its fair share of challenges and mishaps. That’s why having a sense of humor about things is always good! If you’re a homeowner or thinking about becoming one, get ready to chuckle with these funny homeowner comedy bits. From relatable anecdotes to clever quips, these jokes will make you laugh and see the lighter side of homeownership. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the humor of owning a home!

Laugh more: FUNNY Working from Home Jokes

What is a large group of Karens called?
A homeowners association

What did the homeowner say to the fruit-growing gardener?
Water me lawn

What did the affectionate volcano tell the Hawaiian homeowner?
“I lava you.”

What do you call a cat that owns a house?
A hoMEOWner.

What do you call someone from San Francisco with a car?
A homeowner

What do you call someone from San Francisco with a car A homeowner

How does the homeowner’s association tell time?
It checks its neighborhood watch.

What did the homeowners of house haunted by windows have?
Phantom panes.

Why did the homeowner take so long in remodeling his home?
He had trouble with da siding. (deciding)

Why do homeowners always make terrible comedians?
Because their jokes are too “punny” – they’re always trying to “nail” the punchline and “drill” their humor into everyone!

Why did the scarecrow become a great homeowner?
Because he was outstanding in his field – especially when it came to lawn maintenance!


In conclusion, funny house jokes are a great way to bring humor and laughter into our daily lives. They remind us that no matter how frustrating or mundane our household tasks may be, there’s always something to laugh about. Whether it’s poking fun at our quirks as homeowners or making light of the never-ending cycle of household repairs, these jokes offer a much-needed break from the stresses of everyday life. So the next time you feel overwhelmed by your home’s demands, remember that a good laugh is only a joke away!

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I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh.