124 FUNNY Money Jokes That Will Make You Feel Rich

124 FUNNY Money Jokes That Will Make You Feel Rich

Money is power. We always hear that quote, and we cannot agree more because you can do many good things with it. If not handled well, it can also cause harm, so it is essential to share some money lessons with your kids. We know that it is not an easy conversation to have for kids, so these money jokes that we have compiled can help you lighten the mood.

Having a good financial status is a good practice, so why not teach your child until their young. They will thank you for it!

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Funny Money Jokes for Kids

Handling money is not a joke but it doesn’t mean that you can’t banter these funny jokes about money. Check out our money jokes and have fun!

Laugh more here: Funny Bitcoin Jokes


Why didn’t the cows have any money?
It’s because the farmers usually milk them dry.

Read more: Cow Jokes and Puns for Kids

Why didn’t the cows have any money


Where does Dracula store his money?
Probably in the blood bank.


Where will you always find money?
In a dictionary.


What was the football coach yelling to the vending machine that ate his money?
He was saying “give me my quarterback”.


What did the bird say when it bought a one dollar sweater?
Cheap cheap.


When does it rain money?
When there is “change” in the weather.


A couple got married at a credit union but no one showed up
Low interest


Why did the student eat his dollar bill?
His mother told him it was for lunch.


Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.

Read more: Football Jokes

Why did the football coach go to the bank


Why wasn’t the dead woman living well?
It’s because she was dead broke.


A stock market crash is worse than a divorce.
You lose half your money and your wife is still around.


Where did the frog put his money?
It’s on the river bank.


How can you become rich by eating?
You should eat fortune cookies.


Where do polar bears go to keep their money safe?
In snowbanks.


Money One Liners

Do you have a lot of bills to pay this month? I imagine how great it is to be one of the richest people in the world. Maybe for now all you need is some money humor?! We have compiled the best money jokes one liners just for you. 

Read more: Finance Jokes


Why did God create stock analysts?
In order to make weather forecasters look good.

Why did God create stock analysts


Where should I invest my money?
Put it on booze. Where else do you get forty percent?


Who was the world’s first stockbroker?
Noah – He floated his stock while the world was in liquidation.


An investor to his advisor: Is really all my money gone?
No, of course not. It’s just with somebody else!


The market is weird.
Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.


What’s another name for long-term investment?
A failed short term investment!


A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year.


An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.


Money Jokes for Adults

I wish all of our credit cards have no spending limit and that we can spend money without thinking of paying it afterward. Well, just keep dreaming! For now, let’s just settle with these money jokes for adults. Handling money can be very stressful and nerve-racking so you better check out these hilarious jokes to ease your mind a little bit.


Why didn’t the man report it to the police when his credit card stolen?
Because the kind thief was spending less than the man.

Why didn't the man report it to the police when his credit card stolen


How much money would you be left with if you win $5 million on the lottery and decide to donate a quarter of that to charity?
You’ll still have $4,999,999.75.


What ad did the safe company display on their billboard?
“If your things get stolen, well it’s not our vault.”


How did the dinosaur pay his bill at the restaurant?
With Tyrannosaurus checks!

Read more: Funny Dinosaur Jokes


What did the man say when his landlord told him that he’d come to talk to him about his high heating bill?
The man told him, “Sure, my door’s always open.”

Laugh more: Funny Landlord Jokes


If money started growing on trees, what season would become everyone’s favorite?
Fall.


When does it start raining money?
When there’s a change in the weather.


What would you call it if you crossed a millionaire with a sorceress?
Ms. Richie Witch.


Why is money also called dough?
Well, because every person kneads it.

Why is money also called dough


Why did the woman put her money in her freezer?
Because she wanted some cold hard cash.


Why do people say that if we want to get rich, we should keep our mouths shut?
Probably because silence is supposed to be gold.


What would a duck say to the cashier after he was done shopping?
He’d probably say, “Put it all on my bill”.

Laugh more: Funny Duck Jokes


What type of money do crabs pay their bills with?
Sand dollars.


What would you call it if you lend some money to a bison?
I’d call it Buff-a-loan.


How much money did the skunk have?
It only had one scent.


Why did the robbers take a bath before they were going to steal from the bank?
Because they wanted to make clean getaway.


Money Jokes Quotes

How about we get some inspiration from these famous people about money? These money quotes can give us many insights about money that you will surely appreciate.

Read more: Funny Money Quotes


“Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.” – William Somerset Maugham

Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it


“Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.” – Helen Gurley Brown


“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” – Woody Allen


“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason


“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope


“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams


“Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game.” – Donald Trump


“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor


“Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets.” – Jerry Seinfeld


“Money is the best deodorant.” – Elizabeth Taylor


“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy


“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson


“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket


Paper Money Jokes

Every one of us at some point worries about money, and we are telling you that it is not good. Let’s try and laugh about it to keep you sane.


Bought some low-quality toilet paper to save money…
…but it makes my hand feel kinda shitty.


If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?


I collect coins and old paper money. For our anniversary, my wife surprised me with a $1,000 bill!
Unfortunately, it was from Fendi, for a pair of shoes.


The fact that my money printing machine can only print paper money doesn’t make any cents.


Funny Cash Jokes

Found your favorite joke about money? Saving money can be very difficult. It requires discipline and self-control because, as you know, it is hard to keep away from temptations. How about you forget it for now and take a look at our jokes?


Did you hear about an ATM that got addicted to money?
Heard it was suffering from withdrawals.

Did you hear about an ATM that got addicted to money


How do you make money in a dog exercising business?
It should be a walk in the park.

Read more: Pun-niest Dog Jokes


What would you call it if you invested a huge amount of money into a corn farm?
You could call it a major stalk investment.


Why wasn’t the criminal able to steal all the money alone?
Because she was banking on her friends to help her.


Why shouldn’t you ask for money from the leprechauns?
It’s because they can never help. They are always a little short.


Why was the student eating his dollar bill?
It’s because his mother told her that it was for lunch.


What’s the similarity between a dollar and the moon?
It’s that both of them have 4 quarters.


What would a stockbroker say to another stockbroker when they wanted the other person to stop talking?
They’d probably say, “Put a stock in it”.


What would you call a man that had a head full of change?
He’d probably be called Headquarters.


Money Puns for Kids

It can be challenging to teach your children about money. It’s stressful just knowing it exists, that everyone needs it, and that it doesn’t grow on trees. These clean, kid-friendly puns about money will brighten up your family’s financial lessons. It may take some time for those lessons to sink in, but at the very least, you’ll be able to enjoy some chuckles while you wait.


The safest place for a penguin to keep her money is in a snow bank.

Read more: Funny Animal Jokes

The safest place for a penguin to keep her money is in a snow bank


The cows at the farm didn’t have any money.
The farmers always milked them dry.


I was thinking of borrowing some money from our neighborhood leprechaun.
My friend said that I couldn’t because they’re always a little short.


A mother gave her kid some money and said it was for lunch.
So, at lunch time, the kid ate the dollar bill.


Fishes keep their money safe in a river-bank.


I was driving and saw an advert that said, “Hairpieces from $5”.
Seeing it, I thought to myself, “well, that’s a very small price toupee”.


I saw my nephew put his money inside the freezer.
I guess he just wanted some cold hard cash.


Not all dogs have money.
But a bloodhound does, because he can always pick up scents.


One day a skunk got arrested for counterfeiting.
He got caught because he was giving out bad scents.


Trees already have a safe place to hide and keep their money.
They keep it in branch banks.

Trees already have a safe place to hide and keep their money


Sometimes a male deer also needs money.
It’s probably when he doesn’t have any doe.


The best place for hogs to keep their money safe is in the piggy banks.


I saw a skunk trying to count how much money it had.
There wasn’t much. It just had one scent.


In the market, I saw some crabs buy things.
When the cashier asked them to pay for their things, they gave their sand dollars.


I remember the time when I was in so much debt, I couldn’t even afford my electricity bills.
That was a dark time.


A colleague of mine had lent some money to a bison.
I called it buff-a-loan.


There was a ​sad-looking toucan sitting outside our home. I decided to ask why he was so sad.
He told me he was sad about his large bill.


In England, if you have to pay money to live inside a toilet, then you can just tell people that you are a loo-tenant.

Read more: Hilarious Cleaning Jokes


Money Knock Knock Jokes

Are you looking for some jokes to lighten up your day? Well, say no more. You might want to ‘cheque’ out these amusing Money knock-knock jokes that will make you giggle and laugh hard!

Read more: Funny Knock Knock Jokes


Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan my money back.

Ivan my money back


Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
Cash me if you can.


Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin’ you. Hand over all your money.


Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Nicholas.
Nicholas who?
A Nicholas not much valued these days.


Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Celeste.
Celeste who?
Celeste time I’ll be lending you money.


Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Hanover.
Hanover who?
Hanover all your money.


Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Iowa.
Iowa who?
Iowa you some money.

Iowa you some money


Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Ivana.
Ivana who?
Ivana be real rich.


Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Yolande.
Yolande who?
Yolande me some money, I’ll pay you back tomorrow.


Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Bellows.
Bellows who?
Bellows me money. Is he here?


Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Cash.
Cash who?
Cash me if you can.


Penny Jokes

Saving up one penny a day is a good habit for your future. But do you know what else is good? These penny jokes! We’ve rounded up the finest jokes that are just perfect for you. Take time and have a good time reading these amusing jokes!


What comes with a tail and a head but it’s not an animal?
It’s a penny.

What comes with a tail and a head but it's not an anima


Why can’t you bend a penny in half?
Change is hard.


What did the penny say to its friend, the other penny?
It said, “Let’s meet and make some cents”.


Why did the student swallow all his pennies?
The teacher said he needed more sense.


Penny Puns

It is hard to earn money, and sometimes you need to have a proper education to be paid more. Worrying about money is just stressful, so why not make a joke with money to lighten it up. On the other hand, these penny puns will undoubtedly brighten your day.


Pennies that get involved in any crime go to a penny-tentiary.


One day, a penny met with another penny and said, “Hello, I’m 5 cents.”
The other penny exclaimed, “Hi, I’m 5 cents too. What a coin-cidence.”


Two pennies met after a long time.
So, one penny said to the other penny, “Let’s get together and make some cents”.


The dollar had a baby daughter.
He named her ‘Penny’.


When one penny made a funny joke regarding money, the other penny laughter and said, “Money jokes are priceless.”

Money jokes are priceless


Rich Jokes

Being affluent is already a source of a bundle of joy. Adding a wealth of insights full of humorous jokes will indeed make your day brighter and sweeter. Come and indulge yourself in this compilation of merry jokes that will indeed illuminate your countenance. Try it, and you will be richly blessed.


What do you call a rich white man?
Cracker with Cheese!

Read more: Cheese Puns


Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!


What would Batman do if he wasn’t rich?
He would be robin.


What kind of mask are you warring?
An Elon Mask!


How do you enter your house?
Through Bill gates!


What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An Donald Trumpet!


What do you call a rich Chinese man?
Ching Ching.

Laugh more: Funny Hong Kong Jokes


What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their Cache.

Read more: Nerdy Jokes


You must be rich!
You’ve got all the cash-ews.

You’ve got all the cash-ews


Making Money Jokes

Having the ability to produce wealth is truly a gift from the almighty. Different folks have different strokes, so in the making money matters, tycoons have different strategies and experiences. Join me in reading these jokes that can be a source of inexpressible joy. This is indeed a once-in-a-lifetime experience that will make you stunned and giggle with glee.


Making money in the dog exercise business is a walk in the park.


You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there’s no real difference between me and George Clooney.


You don’t have to marry for money; hang around the rich and marry for love.


Money isn’t everything, but it certainly keeps you in touch with your children.


Never lend money to a friend. It’s dangerous. It could damage his memory.


If your name is on the building, you’re rich; if your name is on your desk, you’re middle-class; if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.


Financial Jokes

Indulge in these funny financial jokes and tickle your funny bones. Join the fun ride in reading these financial jokes that will give you a bountiful harvest of fun.


A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”


Tip-jar humour in our local coffee shop:
Afraid of Change? Leave It Here.

Afraid of Change


I’m normally not one to brag about my financial skills but my credit card company calls me almost every day to inform me my balance is outstanding!


I’m currently boycotting any company that sells items I can’t afford.


That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.


Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.


I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
Now I have $2,999,999.75.


During a visit to our friend’s home in Canada, we were feted with a wonderful breakfast.
But my six-year-old daughter was not impressed.

Read more: Giggle-Worthy Canadian Jokes


“Your pancakes are smaller than my mom’s,” she told him.
He replied, “That’s because of the exchange rate.”


Why did the financial system collapse in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes.

Pyramid schemes


Summary

Having financial problems is just stressful, and sometimes you need to borrow money from someone to pay your bills. But I bet you that these money jokes can make your problems disappear. We hope you liked our jokes. Share these hilarious jokes and crack them to your friend to make them feel loved and happy.

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Jimmy
I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not! Here, have a carrot!