Funny Jokes for Kids and Family

Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to laugh

There are so many funny jokes for Kids and Children out there, we simply had to make a collection. Because as we all know, kid’s laughter is always contagious. Just hearing them laugh is enough to put smiles on our faces and give us giggles.

Thus, in this article, we did exactly that. A collection of the funniest jokes and puns for children that are easy to remember and will make everyone giggle for sure.

And to make this a good collection of funny jokes, we organized the jokes in several groups like WHY and WHAT jokes. We even included short and long jokes for you to enjoy.

We also have other great collections of jokes that you might take a look at.

Funny jokes for kids (8-9)

Question: What do you do if you see a spaceman?

Answer: Park your car, man.


Question: What did the science book say to the math book?

Answer: Wow! You’ve got problems.


Question: What day of the week are most twins born?

Answer: Twos-day!


Question: Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Answer: Because 7,8,9.


Question: Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?

Answer: She was a little horse.


Question: Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?

Answer: Because she will let it go.


Question: What does the ocean do when it sees its friends?

Answer: It waves!

Why can't Elsa have a balloon?


Question: What did the nose say to the finger?

Answer: Quit picking on me!


Question: What do you get if you cross a maths teacher and a clock?

Answer: Arithma-ticks!


Question: What do you give a sick lemon?

Answer: Lemon-aid.


Question: What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?

Answer: Moo Year’s Eve.


Question: What is a cat’s favorite color?

Answer: Purrr-ple.


Question: Why don’t you see dinosaurs at Easter?

Answer: Because they’re eggs-tinct!


Question: What do elves learn in school?

Answer: The elf-abet!


Question: What did the science book say to the math book?

Answer: Wow! You’ve got problems.

What do you give a sick lemon?


Question: What do bumblebees chew?

Answer: Bumble gum.


Question: What did the snowman say to the other snowman?

Answer: Do you smell carrots?


Question: Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Answer: Because he never lands.


Question: How does a train eat?

Answer: It goes chew chew.


Question: What do you call a toothless bear?

Answer: A gummy bear.


Question: Why are fish so smart?

Answer: Because they live in schools.


Question: What kind of key opens a banana?

Answer: A mon-key.


Question: Where does a polar bear keep his money?

Answer: A snowbank.


Funny jokes for kids (10-11)

Question: What did the calculator say to the maths student?

Answer: You can count on me.


Question: What do you call a pig that does karate?

Answer: A pork chop.


Question: Did you hear the joke about the germ?

Answer: Actually, never mind. I don’t want to spread it around.


Question: What do you call a dog who goes to the beach in the summer?

Answer: A hot dog.

We have collected more of the funniest beach jokes and puns here.


Question: What kind of nut has no shell?

Answer: A doughnut.


Question: Why do we put candles on the top of a birthday cake?

Answer: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom.


Question: What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast?

Answer: Lunch and dinner.

What do you call a toothless bear?


Question: What do you call a fake noodle?

Answer: An IM-pasta.


Question: Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Answer: Because it wasn’t peeling well.


Question: How did the egg get up the mountain?

Answer: It scrambled up.


Question: How do we know Saturn was married more than once?

Answer: Because she’s got a lot of rings!


Question: What did the volcano say to his wife?

Answer: I lava you so much.


Question: What do you call an old snowman?

Answer: Water.


Question: What kind of witch likes the beach?

Answer: A SAND-witch.


Question: Why did the boy eat his homework?

Answer: His teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

What do you call a fake noodle?


Question: How do trees get on the internet?

Answer: They log in.


Question: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?

Answer: Nacho cheese!


Question: What did one plate say to the other plate?

Answer: Dinner is on me!


Question: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?

Answer: Spelling!


Question: What animal is always at a game of cricket?

Answer: A bat.


Question: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Answer: Finding half a worm.


Question: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

Answer: He had no body to dance with.


Question: Why was the picture sent to prison?

Answer: It was framed.


Question: Where do hamburgers go to dance?

Answer: The meat-ball.


Question: Why did the tree go to the dentist?

Answer: It needed a root canal.


Question: Why couldn’t the bike stand up?

Answer: It was two-tired.


Question: Why is it so windy inside an arena?

Answer: All those fans.


Question: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses?

Answer: Because their students were so bright!


Question: Why did the stop doing tests at the zoo?

Answer: Because it was full of cheetahs!


Why Jokes

Question: Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?

Answer: Because the ‘P’ is silent.


Question: Why did the Banana go to see the doctor?

Answer: Because it was not peeling well.


Question: Why do so many fish live in saltwater?

Answer: Because pepper makes them sneeze.


Question: Why can’t you trust atoms?

Answer: They make up everything.


Question: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?

Answer: They have two left feet?


Question: Why was the sand wet?

Answer: Because the sea weed.


Question: Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife fall asleep?

Answer: Because of his coffin!


Question: Why do birds fly to warmer climates in the winter?

Answer: It’s much easier than walking!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?


Question: Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window?

Answer: To see butter-fly.


Question: Why didn’t the teddy bear eat dessert?

Answer: He was stuffed.


Question: Why did the traffic light say to the car?

Answer: Hey! Don’t look, I’m about to change.


Question: Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field.


Question: Why did the doctor take a red pen to work?

Answer: In case she wanted to draw blood.


Question: Why did the elephants get kicked out of the swimming pool?

Answer: Because they couldn’t keep their trunks up!


Question: Why did the toilet roll down the hill?

Answer: To get to the bottom.


Question: Why did the onion need help?

Answer: It was in a pickle.

Why didn't the teddy bear eat dessert?


Question: Why did the skeleton go to the restaurant?

Answer: For spare ribs.


Question: Why did the music teacher need a ladder?

Answer: To reach the high notes.


Question: Why did the lion split out the clown?

Answer: He tasted funny.


Question: Why did the lion split out the clown?

Answer: He tasted funny.


Question: Why did the tap dancer give up?

Answer: He kept falling in the sink.


Question: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow?

Answer: He wanted to have sweet dreams.


Question: Why did the echo get detention?

Answer: For answering back!


Question: Why did the elephant quit the circus?

Answer: He was being paid peanuts.


Question: Why did the elephant quit the circus?

Answer: He was being paid peanuts.


How Jokes

Question: How do cats bake cake?

Answer: From scratch.


Question: How do you make an apple drop?

Answer: Just let it fall.


Question: How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

Answer: It waves!


Question: How can a girl go 25 days without sleep?

Answer: She sleeps at night.


Question: How do you make the number one disappear?

Answer: Add the letter G and its “gone”.


Question: How many seconds are there in a year?

Answer: Twelve. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc.


Question: How can the pocket of your pants be empty, but still have something in it?

Answer: When that something is a hole.


Question: How can a man go outside in the pouring rain and not have a hair on his head get wet?

Answer: He is bald.

How do squids get to school?


Question: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

Answer: Concrete floors are very hard to crack!


Question: How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

Answer: It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.


Question: How do snowmen get around?

Answer: On their icicles.


Question: How does a pig go to the hospital?

Answer: Obviously, in a hambulance.


Question: How do you prevent a summer cold?

Answer: Catch it in the winter.


Question: How do we make an egg laugh?

Answer: Tell them a yolk (joke)!


Question: How do you make a hot dog stand?

Answer: Steal its chair.


Question: How do squids get to school?

Answer: They take an octobus.


What Jokes

Question: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Answer: Frostbite!


Question: What says one toilet to the other?

Answer: You look a bit flushed.


Question: What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

Answer: That hit the spot!


Question: What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

Answer: A rocket chip!


Question: What button is impossible to unbutton?

Answer: The Belly Button.


Question: What’s brown and sticky?

Answer: A stick.


Question: What kind of tree fits in your hand?

Answer: A palm tree!

What kind of music scares balloons?


Question: What kind of music scares balloons?

Answer: Pop Music!


Question: What are the strongest days of the week?

Answer: Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weekdays.


Question: What do you call a pile of cats?

Answer: A meow-tain.


Question: What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?

Answer: Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.


Question: What washes up on really small beaches?

Answer: Micro-waves.


Question: What do you call a rich elf?

Answer: Welfy.


Question: What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?

Answer: Tooth hurty!

One-Liner Jokes for Kids

One-Liner jokes for kids could be easily defined as well as dad jokes. Yes, we all know these types of jokes and puns. We wanted to collect a cool and funny summary of one-liners. These are usually very easy to remember for kids and always make people laugh.

Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!


I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!


I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.


Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends (it depends).


A sandwich tried to get a reservation at a restaurant, but the waiter said they don’t serve food there.


I wanted to be a doctor but I didn’t have the patients.


There are three types of people: those who can count and those who can’t.


I heard Cinderella tried out for the basketball team, but she kept running away from the ball.


If you need help building an ark, I Noah guy.

A sandwich tried to get a reservation


I tried writing with a broken pencil but it was pointless.


Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap.


I recently saw a sign that said: “Watch for Animals.” What a great deal!


Whoever invented knock-knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize.


I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my pillow was gone.


Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me — it means a lot.


Two burglars stole a calendar last night and they each got six months.


I just found out I’m colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.


I’m on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.


I ate an alarm clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.


Leopards are terrible at hide-and-seek because they’re always spotted.


Longer Funny Jokes for Kids

Last but not least, here we collect longer funny jokes. These jokes can be 2 liners and so on. They might not be as easy to remember for children. Yet, they are equally funny. Give it a go.

We serve everyone.

A man enters a restaurant.
Chef, are you serving noodles here?
Of course, sir, we serve everyone here!


Free for children under 5 years old

A mother was waiting for the bus with her five-year-old daughter when she read a sign: “Free for children under 5 years old”.
She told her daughter:
“Honey, if you say that you are four we are going to pay less. It’s just for the time of the ride.”
The girl nods and the bus arrives. The mother and her daughter get on a bus when the driver asks the child:
“How old are you?”
“Four years, sir.”
“Well, you’re taller. When will you be five?”
“As soon as we get off the bus.”


Ruff! Ruff!

The phone is ringing.
The dog picks it up and says:
“Ruff!”
“I am sorry? the voice asks at the other end of the line.”
The dog repeats:
“Ruff!”
“Who is there?”
“Ruff! R is for Robert, U is for Umbrella, F is for Frank!”


Can I sleep now?

Grandmother sings a lullaby for her granddaughter at night.
She sings for an hour, two, three…
She got tired and decided to take a break.
Suddenly the granddaughter opens her eyes and asks:
“Grandma, may I sleep now?”


Why camels need humps?

A little camel asks mom:
“Mom, why do we need humps?”
“We store water in them so we can live in the desert.”
“Why do we have such big legs?”
“In order not to fall into the sand when you walk through the desert.”
“Why do we have such thick lips?”
“To eat thorns that grow in the desert!”
“Well, why do we need all of these if we live in the zoo?”

Leopards are terrible at hide and seek


These are bad people

Schoolchildren are on the field trip at the police station.
The children noticed a huge board with photos of different people.
Billy asks the teacher:
“Who are those people in the pictures?”
The teacher answers:
“These are photos of criminals. The police are looking for them!”
“Why?”
“They broke the law. These are bad people.”
“It would be better for the police to catch them and put them into jail instead of taking their pictures and advertising them!”


Twice more legs

Two kids are talking. One of them asks:
“How old is your brother?”
“He’s one year old.”
“Strange. My puppy is also one year old, but he walks better than your brother.”
“Of course, he does. He has twice more legs.”


Driver’s license

At midnight, two skeletons climb out of their graves in the graveyard and go to two motorcycles parked on the street.
Suddenly a skeleton says: “Just a moment, I forgot something!”
It comes back with its tombstone on its back.
Second skeleton: “Are you crazy? What’s the point?”
First Skeleton: “I’m not stupid to drive without a driver’s license!”


Forgot my bag

A little girl climbs a mountain with her father:
“Dad, can I tell you something?”
“When we get to the top.”
Ten minutes later:
“Can I tell you now?”
“When we get to the top.”
An hour later, the father turns to his daughter:
“Here we are, what did you want to tell me?”
“I forgot my bag down…”


We’ll go at night

A Belgian minister tells his advisers:
“Since Americans set foot on the moon, they think they are the best. I propose that we fly to the sun.”
An adviser responds:
“But we all going to burn!”
The minister answers:
“That’s why we’ll go at night!”


Summary for Jokes for Kids

Did you enjoy our collection of jokes for kids? Had enough giggles and laughter? We hope you did because we have more.

Since you stayed until the end, here are more jokes to laugh at and share.

Your turn – Share your Funny Children Jokes below

Do you want to share your own jokes and puns? Then please, we would love to hear your own joke. Drop your joke in the comment section below and let us know your name or your kid’s name. We will publish it here.

Have a good laugh!

Jimmy
I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not! Here, have a carrot!