76 FUNNY Football Jokes That Will Land You A Score

If you have any football lovers at your home, whether they go to big games, watch games on TV, or even play in a local or school team, they are likely to have missed the beautiful game during the lockdown. We are offering you everything from adult football jokes to kids.

We’re also keeping the football party going with these hilarious football jokes for the whole family to enjoy.

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Funny Football Jokes for Kids

Are you looking for some funny kids football jokes? These jokes are a fantastic selection of humorous jokes about football that are clean and entertaining. We have the best football jokes kids would love. Who could think of safe, new football jokes? Who knows, we might be able to!

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What did the receiver say to the football?
Catch you later.

What did the receiver say to the football


Why was Cinderella such a poor football player?
Her coach was a pumpkin.

Laugh more: BEST Disney Jokes


What happens to football players who go blind?
They become referees.


Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
The one with the biggest head.


Where do football players dance?
At a foot ball!


What did the football say to the punter?
I get a kick out of you.


Which insect doesn’t play well in football?
The fumble bee.

Which insect doesn’t play well in football


Which football game do cats like to watch?
The Goldfish Bowl.


What do centers wear on their feet?
Hiking shoes.


What do football players wear on Halloween?
Face Masks!


Football Jokes One-Liners and Football Puns

American football is a fascinating sport that keeps spectators on the edge of their seats. Apart from the tactical and physical play that keeps you interested, it also features several humorous jokes that will have you laughing out loud. We’ve put together a list of witty football one liner jokes, and puns to entertain you.

Read more: Hilarious Jokes


Local team has a triangular pitch.
I think someone took a corner.

Local team has a triangular pitch


Saw a team of flies playing football in a saucer.
They hope to be in the cup next week.


Local amateur poultry team had their new star striker chicken banned.
Apparently, he was a professional fowl.


I like to think outside the box,
although it has ended my career as a goalkeeper.


They say football is a game of two halves.
My mate Dave can get through about seven pints during a match.


My team has had the same score in almost all their games this season, all 4-1 and one 4-4.
Well done the Musketeers.


How did Scrooge manage to score the winning the goal?
The ghost of Christmas passed…


I like watching football matches when I’m at the hairdressers.
The coverage is the same but the highlights are better.


Think my friend’s new girlfriend is a keeper.
She’s got a pair of goalie gloves.

Think my friend’s new girlfriend is a keeper


American Football Jokes

Want some more football humor? If you’re looking for some funny jokes on football to tell your buddies, look no further. We’ve got you covered. Take a look at the list below. Keep in mind that delivery is important. Understand the significance of a pause and confidently finish the punch line!


How do you know if a Georgia football player has a girlfriend?
You see tobacco juice on both sides of his F-150.


How many Alabama freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That’s a sophomore course.


What do you have when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders together?
A full set of teeth.


How do you get an Auburn cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push.


How do you get a Texas A&M player off your front steps?
Pay him for the pizza.

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How do you get a Texas A&M player off your front steps


Why is the Vanderbilt football team like a possum?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.


What are the three longest years of a Mizzou football player’s life?
His freshman year.


Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?
Lexington, Kentucky. He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman winner.


The Ole Miss Coach is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week.
The other half will have to dress themselves.


Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.


AFL Football Jokes

Are you ready for some footy humour? The following is a list of amusing AFL Football Jokes. There are some AFL jokes that no one else knows (and that will make you laugh out loud). Take your time reading those puns and riddles where the setup is the punchline or when you pose a question with answers. We hope you’ll find these AFL puns amusing enough to share with others.


What’s the difference between Richmond and a pyromaniac?
A pyromaniac wouldn’t waste 22 matches


So why do they call Chris Connolly a Mini Bus?
Well, you could hardly call him a Coach.

So why do they call Chris Connolly a Mini Bus


Have you heard the joke about a man with a rubber toe?
The Bombers swap some dad jokes.

Read more: Best Dad Jokes


Soccer players pretend they’re hurt.
AFL players pretend they aren’t.

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They laugh at my footy skills.
I laugh at their bank account.


What’s the difference between a firefighter and the Richmond Football Club?
A firefighter climbs a ladder.


Why is the New England Patriots like Hillary Clinton?
Both have Bills to push around.


NFL Jokes

To help you enjoy the world’s largest athletic event, check out our collection of NFL and Super Bowl jokes. If any of the jokes mention your favorite team, replace them with their biggest opponents! We hope you appreciate our hilarious National Football League and Super Bowl jokes.

Read more: Hilarious Soccer Jokes


What did the NFL football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarterback!

What did the NFL football coach say to the broken vending machine


What’s the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.


What do NFL football centers wear on their feet?
Hiking shoes.


Did you hear about the NFL football field NASA built on the moon?
They used astroturf.


What NFL football play should you be suspicious of?
The quarterback sneak.


What did the college football say to the punter?
I get a kick out of you.


Why couldn’t the All-Pro football player listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.


Why couldn’t the Tom Brady listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.


Why can’t Tampa Bay Buccaneers play golf well?
They always hook the ball.


Why couldn’t the NFL MVP player listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.


Why couldn’t the NFL Super Bowl MVP player listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.


Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the NFL football team?
They needed a little team spirit.

Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the NFL football team


Football Player Jokes

Football is a game for everyone, even if you don’t have any expensive equipment, as long as you have a ball and a few pals to run around with. Football can bring us together to watch our favorite teams battle it out on the field, in addition to the enjoyment of playing it. So if you’re a football player, you might want to check these Football Player Jokes that we’ve gathered for you!


Where do hungry football players play?
In the Supper Bowl.


What do NFL football players wear on Halloween?
Face masks!


Where do NFL football players go to get a new uniform?
New Jersey.


What kind of tea do they serve football players at the Super Bowl?
Penaltea.


Which Super Bowl players can jump higher than the field goal posts?
All of them – field goal posts can’t jump at all.


Short Football Jokes

It’s possible that you’ll become a little enraged while rooting for your favorite team. In your house, Super Bowl Sunday might be considered a full-fledged holiday, but at the end of the day, it’s just a game. Take a look at our Short Football Jokes to tell your friends!


How do football players stay cool?
By standing close to the fans.

How do football players stay cool


Which two football teams played in the pirate Superbowl?
The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.


What kind of tea do football players drink?
Penaltea!


Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?
They needed a little team spirit.


Why didn’t the dog want to play football?
It was a boxer.


Which state should the Tampa Bay Buccaneers move to?
Arrrrrrrrrkansas.


Bad Football Jokes

It’s possible that you’ll become a little enraged while rooting for your favorite team. In your house, Super Bowl Sunday might be considered a full-fledged holiday, but at the end of the day, it’s just a game. Take a look at our Short Football Jokes to tell your friends!


Who is the leader of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?
Captain Hook!


Where do football players go when they need a new uniform?
New Jersey.

Where do football players go when they need a new uniform


When should football players wear armor?
When they play knight games.


Where do hungry football players play?
In the Supper Bowl.


What do you call a lineman’s kid?
A chip off the old blocker.


Went to watch a match recently, and it was freezing.
Must have been all the fans.


A friend played for a team called the Musketeers.
They started the season with three wins and a draw, all 4-1 and one 4-all.


Football Jokes for Adults

Football jokes are fantastic for making your buddies laugh, but they can also be used as icebreakers if you’re seeking fresh ways to meet people. These Football Jokes for Adults will have everyone laughing, whether you’re at a game or out with pals!


What football play should you be suspicious of?
The quarterback sneak.

What football play should you be suspicious of


What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?
One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.


What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
“Give me my quarter back!”


What do a bad football team and possums have in common?
Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!


What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
The Dallas Cowboys.

Read more: FUNNY Cowboy Jokes


When is a football player like a judge?
When he sits on the bench.


Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.


What’s the difference between the poor, inconsistent football team, and a dollar bill?
You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.


How is losing money on a payphone like a football game?
If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver!


How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?
Hide the ball; it drives them nuts!

Read more: Funny Animal Jokes


Summary

There you have it, the best football jokes you could ever find on the internet. Share these with your friends and families and have a good laugh.

If you want to have more jokes, we have more jokes just for you!

Jimmy
I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not! Here, have a carrot!