87 FUNNY Soccer Jokes To Get You Laughing! 2024

Soccer is one of the most played sports in America. It is ranked top 3 sports in America. Soccer was the first sport that many of us tried. We may not have grown up to bend it like Beckham, but we did have fun playing this game of fancy footwork, stamina, and collaboration. So, whether you’re a soccer fan, one of the worst soccer players, have a backyard soccer net, you will definitely love these jokes. So check out our hilarious soccer jokes!

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Funny Soccer Jokes for Kids

Making kids laugh is easy, but telling them these jokes about soccer will make their day full of laughter and joy. Spread these jokes around, and remember to have a good time!

Why was the magician the captain of the soccer team?
He was the best at hat tricks.

Why couldn’t anyone see the soccer ball?
The defense cleared it.

What time is it when a soccer team chases a baseball team?
Eleven after nine. (9:11)

What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match

Why shouldn’t you play soccer in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs!

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she ran away from the ball

Read more: Disney Jokes

Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
It was tired of being kicked around.

What kind of soccer team cries when it loses?
A bawl club.

Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
Because she always runs away from the ball.

Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?
They watch cricket instead.

How do birds cheer for their soccer teams?
They egg them on.

Why did the chicken get ejected from the soccer game?
For persistent fowl play.

Why didn’t the dog want to play soccer?
He was a boxer.

Where’s the best place to shop for a soccer uniform?
New Jersey.

What time is it when an elephant steps on your soccer ball?
Time to get a new ball!

Why are scrambled eggs like a losing soccer team?
Because they’ve both been beaten.

What runs around a soccer field but never moves?

A fence.

Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?
They watch cricket instead.

Funny Soccer Puns and One Liners

Playing soccer is fun and healthy for your body. It is also fun watching soccer on TV with your family. Perhaps if you love soccer, then these funny soccer puns and one liners are just perfect for you!

Heard someone say they had to play soccer with 2nd graders.
They should really invest in a ball…

Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra.
It has no cups and minimal support.

You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.

What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOALL!

The reason why soccer players are brilliant in math is that they know how to use their heads well.

The man who invented soccer got a kick out of it.

There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player.
They both do hat tricks.

Kicking off the day in the best way possible.

I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer what a Messi guy.

I started watching football because I could see it’s very relevant to my life.
Little to no goals.

Read more: Hilarious football jokes and football puns.

Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.

I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.

The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.

Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team.
However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.

Funny Soccer Players Jokes

Are you looking for some jokes to impress your soccer teammates? Or perhaps you want to have a giggle and lighten up your day? Well, say no more and take a look at our funny soccer player jokes that will make you laugh hard! Enjoy our funny jokes about soccer players.

What is soccer?
It has been described as a game with 22 players, two linesmen, and 20,000 referees.

Soccer players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions.
Just letting you know!

Why was the soccer field wet on a sunny day?
The players dribbled all over it.

What would you get if you crossed a soccer player and the Invisible Man?
He would play soccer like no one has ever seen.

Why did the soccer player kick the grass?
Because it was being a pitch.

Why did the soccer player hold his boot to his ear?
Because he enjoyed sole music.

What does a soccer player say on Halloween?
“Hat Trick or Treat!”

When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on.
They just need to bring on their subs.

Which bar downtown do soccer players hate striking on?
Crossbar.

I’m currently dating a famous soccer player.
He’s so loving and caring towards me. He’s a keeper.

Why are soccer players so artistic?
Because every game ends in a draw.

What kind of tea do soccer players drink?
Penal-Tea.

Why are soccer players never asked out for dinner?
Because they’re always dribbling!

Why couldn’t the star soccer player listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.

What would you get if you crossed a soccer player and the Invisible Man?
He would play soccer like no one has ever seen.

Which soccer player has the biggest cleats?
The one with the biggest feet.

What happens to soccer players who go blind?
They become referees.

Laugh more: my favorite 30 BEST Dad Jokes of all time

Where do soccer players go to dance?
The Futball.

When is a soccer player like a judge?
When he sits on the bench.

Which soccer player keeps the field neat?
The sweeper.

What do you get if you cross a soccer player and a mythical puppet?
A centaur forward.

Why did the defensive soccer player cross the road?
To get to the other slide.

Why couldn’t the all-star soccer player listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.

Why do soccer players do so well in school?
They know how to use their heads.

How do soccer players stay cool during games?
They stand near the fans.

Why was the soccer field wet on a sunny day?
The players dribbled all over it.

Did you hear about the soccer player who lived passed a 100?
He’s still alive and kicking.

Goalkeeper Jokes

Playing in a soccer team is cool, but do you know what’s cooler? Goalkeeper Jokes! We’ve rounded up these funny goalie jokes to impress your teammates, especially your Goalkeeper.

Why couldn’t the soccer team lose a goal?
They always had a goal keeper.

What is a ghost’s favorite position in soccer?
Ghoul keeper.

What position do ghosts play in soccer?
Ghoulie

What is a ghosts favorite soccer position?
Ghoul keeper.

Last weekend I went to see my girlfriend’s soccer match, and she did this awesome save.
She’s definitely a keeper!

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the internet?
Because they can’t stop saving their work.

After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party afterwards.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

What do you get when you cross a soccer goalie and the Invisible Man?
Goal tending like no one has ever seen.

What did the soccer goalie say to the ball?
Catch ya later.

Soccer Jokes for Adults (Soccer Pick Up Lines)

Many people love soccer, but if you have a crush interested in soccer, you might want to impress them with these soccer pick up lines. We are sure that these pickup lines won’t embarrass you. Thus it will make you more of an exciting person.

Are you Messi?
Cause I am dribbling all over you.

If you were a soccer ball, I’d never shoot.
Because I would always miss you.

Are you Suarez?
‘Cause I’ll let you bite me anytime.

I bet you play soccer because you’re a keeper.

If I buy a soccer ball, will you kick it with me?
You’re allowed to use your hands in this game.

Can I take a few shots at your goal?

What’s the difference between the England soccer team and a tea-bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?
Yellow cards.

What did the mummy soccer coach say at the end of practice?
“Let’s wrap this up!”

Did you know I’m the Ronaldo of lovers?

Read here: Ronaldo Motivational Quotes

Is your name Arjen?
Because you’re Robben my heart.

Do you have a jersey?
Because I need your name and number.

Do you play soccer?
Because I think I’m gonna score tonight.

I play soccer all the time…
So, I’m really good at foostie.

Scoring Jokes

Scoring a goal in soccer is not easy. It requires a lot of skills and speed to score. That’s why when you score a goal, and every celebration is just special. These scoring jokes will help your celebration at your goal-scoring even more fun!

Why did the soccer player bring string to her game?
So she could tie the score

Two soccer teams play a game against each other. The home team wins, but not a single man from either team scored a goal. How can this be?
They were women’s soccer teams!

What is it called when a dinosaur gets a goal?
A dino-score.

What did the bumble bee forward say after getting a goal?
Hive scored.

Funny Sports Puns

Want something more? If you are a sports enthusiast, you will love these sports jokes that we have compiled for you. Share with your friends.

Why were the basketball players sent to jail?
It’s because they shot the ball.

Laugh more: Basketball Jokes To Score a Good Laugh

What is the favorite letter of any golfer?
Tee.

What gets harder to catch as you keep running faster?
Your breath.

Why was the golfer wearing two pairs of pants to the game?
She did it in case she got any holes in any one of them.

Why didn’t the defensive end pass his tests?
Because he was the tackling dummy.

Summary

We guarantee that what we have put together are hilarious and funniest soccer jokes. Whether it is a pick-up line or puns, all of it is just laughable! If you liked our jokes, feel free to use them, and don’t forget to put on a big smile! If you want more laughs, we have more for you!