132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier

132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier

Winter may be depressing at times. It’s freezing outside, and suddenly your heater decides that it’s had enough and turns off on you in the middle of winter. But don’t give up hope. Grab a blanket and a steaming cup of coffee and settle down to laugh at these funny cold jokes.

Best Cold Jokes for Adults

Have you ever thought of cold as jokes? It is quite interesting! Browse through our collection of excellent and entertaining jokes about cold that you will totally love.

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What is the only dessert you should have in the cold winter?
You should have ice cream!

What is the only dessert you should have in the cold winter? You should have ice cream!


What kind of money do snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold hard cash.

Laugh more: Funny Money Jokes


Where is the place where snowmen have got to go dancing during the cold weather?
They go dancing at the snowball!


How did the vampire bite his prey in the cold weather?
With the help of frost bite!


What happened when I met my friend after ditching him in the cold weather?
He gave me the cold shoulder!


What should you call a snowman who tells false stories about the cold weather?
You call him a snow-fake!


What does the Eskimo use in cold weather to seal his house?
They use the i-glues!

Laugh more: Funny Landlord Jokes


What was the cause for Santa’s elf helper to be depressed and sad?
It was because he had low elf-esteem!

Laugh more: Funny Holiday Jokes


What happens when someone gets very angry in cold weather?
That person has a meltdown!

What happens when someone gets very angry in cold weather? That person has a meltdown!


What is the best Mexican food to have during the cold weather?
You should have a brrrrr-ito!


How did the archer shoot arrows in the cold weather?
He used the snowbows!


During the cold weather, what gives off negative vibes?
You get negative vibes from the temperature


What kind of beverage should we have during the cold weather?
We should have a fros-tea!


What should you call the famous survivalist during cold weather?
You should call him Brrrrrr Grrrrryllssss!


What is the nationality to which Santa Claus belongs?
He is of a North Polish ethnicity!


What kind of topping would you get on your dessert in the cold weather?
You would get icing on the cake!


What kind of pictures would two people like to take during the cold weather?
They would definitely take polar-oids!


How should people confront their enemy in the cold weather?
They have got to confront each other with an icy stare!


What is the only letter missing from the English alphabet during the time of Christmas?
There is Noel during Christmas!

Laugh more here: Hilarious British Jokes


What do you call the friendly ghost during the cold weather?
You get to call him Cas-brrrrrr!

What do you call the friendly ghost during the cold weather? You get to call him Cas-brrrrrr!


Cold Jokes One Liners

Cold weather humor and coffee are just perfect in winter! Take a sip at your coffee as you laugh with our cold jokes one-liners.


It is so cold outside that my words froze as I was speaking!


It is so cold today that while coming to the band performance, Axel Froze!


It is so cold outside that I was breathing out snowflakes!


It is so cold outside that even Ice Cube doesn’t want to go grocery shopping!


The best way to keep your feet from getting cold is by not going around brrrfooted.


If you are in a freezing room and want to stay warm and comfortable,
you should always stick to the corners because they are all 90 degrees.


It is so cold outside that even time has frozen!

It is so cold outside that even time has frozen!


It is so cold outside that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!


It is so cold outside that I saw a thief with his hands in his own coat pockets!


It is so cold outside that even polar bears are wearing thermal wear!


It is so cold outside that Jack Ryan turned into Jack Frost!


Everyone worries about dying due to the cold because there is always the possibility that hell might freeze over too.


Cold is the worst robber ever because you can always catch it easily no matter what happens.


It is so cold outside that even Siberians are feeling cold and shivering!

It is so cold outside that even Siberians are feeling cold and shivering!


If a spy catches a cold, it will be challenging to find them because they will go undercover.


When it’s so cold that the cold makes your eyes water and they’re not eyes anymore.


Bad Cold Jokes

These cold jokes are so bad that they are so hilarious! Chill with our collection of cold jokes and have fun!


What did the icy road say to the car?
“Want to go for a spin?”

Laugh more: Funny Car Jokes


What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.


What does a gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!

Laugh more: Funny Chocolate Jokes

What does a gingerbread man put on his bed A cookie sheet!


Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow?
She liked playing cool jazz.


How do mountains stay warm?
They put on their snowcaps.


What do you call it when a snowman throws a temper tantrum?
A meltdown.


What is a snowman’s favorite snack?
Ice krispies treats.


What does December have that no other month does?
The letter D.


Where do snowmen put their money?
Snowbanks.


What’s the difference between a Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.


What is the best breakfast cereal to eat in the winter?
Frosted Flakes!

Laugh more: Funny Food Jokes

What is the best breakfast cereal to eat in the winter? Frosted Flakes!


Where do snowmen love to dance?
At a snowball.

Laugh more here: Funny Dance Jokes


What’s a snowman’s favorite drink?
Iced tea.


What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
“Have an ice day!”


What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.


Why did the girl keep her saxophone out in the snow?
She wanted to play cool jazz.


What do you call a snowman’s kids?
Chill-dren.


What’s the best self-defense against an angry snowman?
A hairdryer.

What’s the best self-defense against an angry snowman? A hairdryer.


What do you put over a reindeer’s crib?
A snow-mobile.


What does a mountain wear on its head?
A snowcap.


What do you call a penguin that steals calamari?
A squid-napper.


Why don’t penguins fly?
They’re not tall enough to be pilots.

Laugh more here: Funny Pilot Jokes


Who’s at the door?
It’s snowbody.


What did the salad say to get inside?
“Lettuce in! It’s freezing out here!”


What did the man say from outside the window?
“Icy you!”


What do you call a photo of the North Pole?
A polar-oid.


Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
You have to hollow out the head.


Why did the two snowmen divorce?
One thought the other was a flake.

Why did the two snowmen divorce? One thought the other was a flake.


Why do penguins swim in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.


Where’s the warmest place in the South Pole?
On a map.


Where does a bird have the most feathers in winter?
On the outside.


What do you call a wintertime hip-hop artist?
Frozen-T.


What do you call 50 penguins in the Arctic?
Very lost.


Why do polar bears live in igloos?
To ice-olate themselves.


What did the penguin say when it swam into a wall?
“Dam!”

What did the penguin say when it swam into a wall? “Dam!”


What do you call an igloo without a toilet?
An “ig.”

Laugh more: Funny Poop Jokes


What do you call a slow skier?
A slope-poke.


Who delivers the Christmas presents to baby sharks?
Santa Jaws.


Hot And Cold Jokes

Want some more summer and winter humor? These hold and cold jokes are perfect for you! Enjoy and have some laughs with friends. 


What do you give to a dog that has a fever?
Mustard and ketchup. They go on hot dogs.


What season is it when you jump on a trampoline?
Springtime.

Laugh more here: Funny Spring Jokes for Kids


What does the sun drink from?
Sunglasses.

Laugh more: Funny Summer Jokes


What did the pig put on his sunburn?
Oinkment.

What did the pig put on his sunburn? Oinkment.


What kind of mammal can fly?
A hot-air baboon.


What kind of flower roars?
The dandelion.

Laugh more: Funny Flower Jokes


What did one icicle say to another?
“Hang in there!”


What do you call a hippo at the North Pole?
Lost.


Who is Antarctica’s husband?
Uncle Arctica.

Laugh more: Funny Marriage Jokes


What is black and white and black and white?
A penguin doing somersaults.


Which animals are the coldest?
Mice. Except for the M, they’re ice.


What does an Eskimo grow in his garden?
Iceberg lettuce.


Justice is best served cold.
Because if it was served hot it would be Justwater.

Justice is best served cold. Because if it was served hot it would be Justwater.


What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, you can catch a cold.


What is hot and cold at the same time?
A dead body.


For being 75% hot…
…Hoth sure is pretty cold.


My sister keeps using up all the hot water in the shower,
But jokes on her, I’m using up all the cold water.

Laugh more: Funny Sister Jokes


How do you know if hot is faster than cold?
Because you can catch a cold.


Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot. You can always catch a cold


How does a detective stay cool in hot summer?
He works on a cold case.


Funny Cold Weather Jokes

These cold winter jokes are perfect to get you laughing. This will definitely keep you warm even for a little while. Enjoy our collection of jokes about cold weather.


What can you catch with your eyes closed?
A cold!

What can you catch with your eyes closed? A cold!


What do you get in December that you can’t have in any other month?
The letter “D”!


What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?
Lost!


What is an “ig”?
A snow house without a loo!


Where do arctic seals go to see movies?
The dive-in!

Laugh more: Funny Movie Jokes


 

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
“Can you smell carrot?”


What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.


What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!

What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown!


What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.


Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?
When the days get short, you only have to work a 30-minute work week.


Why do seals swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!


What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilifice sauce.


What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.


Which side of an Arctic Tern has the most feathers?
The outside.


How does a snowman get around?
He rides an icicle!


Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt Artica!


What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers?
Leeks.


What did the snowman order at the fast-food restaurant?
An ice burger with extra cheese.

Laugh more: Funny Cheese Jokes

What did the snowman order at the fast-food restaurant? An ice burger with extra cheese.


What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.


What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
I have no eye deer.


What does a Snowman take when he gets sick?
A chill pill.


What did one Arctic murre say to the other?
“What? We flew 2000 miles for THIS?!”


What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?
“Where were you on the night of September to March?”


What noise wakes you up at the North Pole around March 18?
The crack of dawn!


If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy.


What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.


What did the walrus say when it was late?
“I would have been here sooner, but my iceberg hit a ship.”


What do you use to catch an Arctic hare?
A hare net.


What did the tree say after a long winter?
“What a re-leaf!”

Laugh more: Funny Leaf Jokes

What did the tree say after a long winter? “What a re-leaf!”


Knock Knock Jokes About Winter

Knock knock jokes will never go old. Our collection is not complete without these knock knock jokes. Laugh more and have fun!


Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snowbody’s home!


Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold out!


Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ice.
Ice who?
Ice see you!


Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow cone with cherry syrup, please.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow cone with cherry syrup, please.


Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow real way of knowing.


Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow man named Frosty.


Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan awful cold.


Knock, knock.
Who’s There?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow laughing matter.


Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Icy you.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Icy. Icy who? Icy you.


Summary

We hope you enjoyed these hilarious family-friendly jokes for you to enjoy! Here are some jokes to brighten your day!

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Jimmy
I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not! Here, have a carrot!