227 HILARIOS Sports Jokes That Deserves a Gold Medal!

224 HILARIOUS Sports Jokes That Deserve a Gold Medal!

Are you sporty or trying to be one? For some, sport is a profession, but for some, it is entertainment. Sports is also one way to maintain a healthy body while having fun. But if you are not really into sports but want to have some fun, here are great sports jokes just for you!

These belly-busting jokes are great conversation starters that you can share with your new team or fans.

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Funny Sports Jokes One-Liners

If you love sports and jokes at the same time, then these funny sports jokes one liners are perfect for you! So check it out. 


Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.


I asked my date to meet me at the gym today.
She didn’t show up.
That’s when I knew we weren’t gonna work out.

Laugh more here: Funny Gym Jokes


Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.


What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle?
A tire.


The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get,
I’ll never be as good as a wall.


I’m taking part in a stair climbing competition.
Guess I better step up my game.


I wear two pairs of pants when I go golfing.
People always ask me why I do. I say,
“I wear two pants when’s I golf just in case I get a hole-in-one.


Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.


If you run in front of a car you’ll get tired,
but if you run behind the car you’ll get exhausted.

Laugh more: Funny Car Jokes

If you run in front of a car you'll get tired, but if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted.


What’s the difference between baseball and politics?
In baseball, you’re out if you’re caught stealing.

Laugh more: Funny Yankees Jokes


I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.


Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy.
Taking along a box of M&M’s because let’s be honest here.


Ice hockey is basically just guys wearing knife shoes fighting each other with long sticks for the last Oreo.


I named my dog 6 miles so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day.


Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?


If procrastionation was an Olympic sport,
I’d compete in it later.


If you can go to the gym without telling people on the Internet,
you are instantly hired by the CIA.

Laugh more: Nery Jokes


My tennis opponent was not happy with my serve.
He kept returning it.


What tea do hockey players drink?
Penaltea!

What tea do hockey players drink? Penaltea!


I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.


When I go jogging, I listen to a portable CD player,
so people think I’ve been running for 10 years.


I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team.
But then I learned they don’t cross the country and are back home in a few hours.


Funny Sports Jokes

Sometimes athletes need a good joke to cool down and take a rest from activities. That’s why we have compiled these sporting jokes and jokes about sports fans to help you have fun in what you do. 


Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball?
If he raises them both, he’d fall down.


Where do they keep the largest diamond in New York City?
Yankee Stadium.

Laugh more: Funny New York Jokes


Why are basketball players, such messy eaters?
They’re always dribbling.


Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?
They aren’t allowed to travel.

Why can’t basketball players go on vacation? They aren’t allowed to travel.


What do you call a player that constantly misses slam dunks?
Alley Whoops.


Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team?
Because then New York City would want one, too.


Which fast-food chain is most likely to win a basketball tournament?
Dunkin’ Donuts.


What do you call the basketball play where you drink too much and then score?
Slam Drunk.


Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be?
It’s full of fans.


Why is it so hot at a Phillies game?
Because they don’t have many fans.


Did you hear? Detroit is building a new stadium at an undisclosed location.
They’re keeping it a secret because they’re afraid the Tigers might find out and try to play there.


Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?
Forget it. It’s way over your head.


What are the rules for zebra baseball?
Three stripes and you’re out.

Laugh more: Funny Animal Jokes

What are the rules for zebra baseball Three stripes and you’re out.


I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.


Why are some umpires chubby?
It’s their job to clean their plates.


What does a baseball player do when he starts losing his eyesight?
He becomes an umpire.


Where do you keep your mitt while driving?
In the glove compartment.


Which baseball player holds water?
The pitcher.


A man leaves home, makes three left turns, and is on his way back home when he notices two men in masks waiting for him.
They’re the catcher and umpire.


Why did the Braves hire a baker?
They needed a new batter.


What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves?
The fence.


What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?
One steals watches and one watches steals.


When should baseball players where armor?
When they’re playing knight games.


Where do catchers sit at lunch?
Behind the plate.


Why are baseball games at night?
The bats sleep during the day.

Why are baseball games at night? The bats sleep during the day.


What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?
One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.


I love the fall. It gives me a chance to sit at home and watch the World Series.
Just like the Dodgers.


How do baseball players keep in touch?
They touch base every once in a while.


Why doesn’t the basketball team have a website?
They can’t string together three Ws.


What do prison guards, and basketball guards have in common?
They’re both supposed to protect you.


If a basketball player gets an athlete’s foot, what’s an astronaut get?
Missile Toe!


I’m thinking of creating a fantasy show about basketball.
I’ll call it Hoopernatural.


What do you call a monkey who wins back-to-back titles?
The Chimpion.


What do you call a basketball-playing shark?
Sharq.


Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?
He was afraid of the net.

Laugh more: Funny Fish Jokes

Why did the fish refuse to play basketball? He was afraid of the net.


What’s the difference between Kobe Bryant and time?
Time actually passes.


Why are frogs so good at basketball?
They always make jump shots.


Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.

Laugh more: Funny Finance Jokes


What do you call a Cleveland Browns QB at the Super Bowl?
A spectator.


What’s a golfer’s favorite letter?
Tee!


What do you call a football play with long legs who builds houses?
A car-punter.

Laugh more: Funny Landlord Jokes


What’s Prince Charles’ favorite American basketball team?
Sacramento Kings.


Why was the basketball player sitting on the sidelines drawing chickens?
Coach told her to learn how to draw fouls.

Laugh more here: Funny Drawing Jokes That Are So Relaxing


What do you call twelve millionaires gathered around the TV to watch the NBA Finals?
The Detroit Pistons.


Why do basketball players like cookies?
It’s just another excuse to dunk.

Why do basketball players like cookies? It’s just another excuse to dunk.


Why has Cinderella kicked off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.

Laugh more: Funny Disney Jokes


Funny Sports Jokes for Kids

Kids love sports, and they also love jokes. So combining is really a good idea! Here we’ve rounded up some kids sports jokes and riddles that I’m sure they’ll like.


Why do basketball players love donuts?
Because they can dunk them!


What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch you later!


What animal is best at hitting a baseball?
A bat!


What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A baseball team!


What runs around a baseball field but never moves?
The fence!


Funny Sports Jokes for Adults

As adults, we need to take care of our bodies by eating healthy food and playing sports. But if you do get tired of playing sports, then these funny sports jokes for adults will help you recover your body and will surely make you giggle!


Why did the little boy keep playing sports on the roof?
He wanted his balls to drop.

Why did the little boy keep playing sports on the roof? He wanted his balls to drop.


If football had never existed, Messi would’ve been just a normal guy.
Maybe I’m the best player in a sport that doesn’t exist and that’s why I’m a normal guy.


If self-depreciation was a sport,
I’d probably be pretty rubbish at that too.


What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.


If having low confidence and low self-esteem was an Olympic sport.
I would probably get bronze.


Can throwing around heavy objects as far as you can be classed as a sport?
Discus


If horse racing is the “sport of kings”,
is drag racing the sport of queens?


What are Mexicans favorite high school sports?
Cross country.


What’s the easiest sport to get into? Limbo.
They don’t set the bar very high.


What did the coach say to the broken vending machine?
I want my quarter back!


Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to the game?
Because he traveled a lot!


When is a baseball player like a spider?
When he catches a fly!

Laugh more here: Funny Spider Jokes

When is a baseball player like a spider? When he catches a fly!


What kinds of stories do basketball players tell?
Tall tales!


How is a baseball team similar to a pancake?
They both need a good batter!


What is an insect’s favorite sport?
Cricket!


What is harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath!


Why didn’t the dog want to play football?
It was a boxer!


Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!


She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve,
pulls out a flask and gives it to him.


Short Sports Jokes

We all like to be competitive and play sports to have fun. You can also have fun with our list of short sports jokes. Make sure you check these jokes before its gone.


Why did the chicken get sent off?
For persistent fowl play!

Laugh more: Funny Chicken Jokes

Why did the chicken get sent off For persistent fowl play!


Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
Because it heard the referee was blowing fouls


Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?
So that they can pack the defence!


Why did the skydiving club disband?
Because they had a falling out.


Where do old bowling balls end up?
In the gutter!


What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?
Bring on their subs!


Which insect didn’t play well at quarterback?
The fumble bee!


What did the bumble bee striker say?
Hive scored!


What does a carpenter have in common with a volleyball player?
They both like to hammer spikes.

Laugh more: Funny Volleyball Jokes


What do a hockey player and a magician have in common?
Both do hat tricks!


Where do religious school children practice sports?
In the prayground!


How did the basketball court get wet?
The players dribbled all over it!


Why Was Cinderella such a lousy baseball player?
She had a pumpkin for a coach!

Laugh more here: Funny Pumpkin Jokes


What’s the chilliest ground in the premiership?
Cold Trafford!


How did the football pitch end up as triangle?
Somebody took a corner!

How did the football pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner!


Sports Puns

Nothing feels better than relaxing and reading this list of hilarious sports puns. Scroll down and prepare to laugh out loud. 


Grasshoppers don’t usually watch soccer.
Because instead, they watch cricket.


Hockey players are really good at making friends.
It’s probably because they’re quite quick at breaking the ice.


Canadians have always beaten the Germans in hockey.
That’s because Germans bring the wurst,
but Canadians bring their “eh” game.


The other day a boy climbed up a maple tree with a hockey stick in his hand.
Probably because he wanted to join the Toronto Maple Leafs.


A magician and a hockey player have one similarity.
It’s that they both can do hat tricks.


Every football player goes to a particular place when they want to buy new uniforms.
They go to New Jersey.


One day a tiny ghost was asked to join the local football team.
It’s because they all needed a bit of team spirit.


The All-Star football player couldn’t really listen to any music.
Because he broke all of the records.


The soccer player brought some strings to the soccer game.
He probably wanted to tie up the match.


There’s a way one can easily light up a soccer stadium.
That’s with a soccer match.


A dinosaur scored a goal the other day in the soccer match.
Everyone was calling it dino-score.


The soccer player that always keeps the field neat and tidy is the sweeper.


The difference between a bad playing soccer team and a tea bag is that the tea bag stays in a cup longer.

The difference between a bad playing soccer team and a tea bag is that the tea bag stays in a cup longer.


I was in our gym the other day and thought of jumping on the treadmill.
But people were giving me really weird looks.
So I decided to start jogging instead.


A baseball team and a pancake have one similarity.
It’s that they both need good batters.


All the waiters are really good at one particular sport.
It’s tennis because they’re good at serving.


Baseball players have the ability to stay quite cool.
It’s probably because they always sit next to their fans.


Tarzan used to spend a lot of time on a golf course.
It’s because he wanted to perfect his swings.

Laugh more: Funny Gold Jokes


I couldn’t remember at all how to throw boomerangs.
But well eventually, it just came back to me.


I’ve decided to participate in a competition of stair climbing.
I guess I’ll definitely have to step up my game.


Why did the soccer ball decide to quit the team?
Well, he became tired of getting kicked around.


Why are all the soccer players good at math?
Because they all know how to make use of their heads.

Laugh more: Funny Math Jokes


Why are hockey players like goldfish?
You could tap on the glass and you’d get their attention.


What would you give any hockey player when they demand to get paid?
A check.


What would you get if you cross a carpet and a quarterback?
A throw rug.


Why didn’t the defensive end pass his tests?
Because he was the tackling dummy.


What gets harder to catch as you keep running faster?
Your breath.

What gets harder to catch as you keep running faster? Your breath.


Hockey Jokes For Kids

If you are looking to have fun with your kids, then these hockey jokes for kids are the answer! Tell these jokes and you guys will have a good time.


What made the short-tempered coach of the hockey team so frustrated when he opened his email?
He had so many forwards.


Have you seen the hockey player who visited the bank?
He said he wanted to give out more checks.

Laugh more: Funny Money Jokes


What happened on the charter flight?
All the hockey players were seated according to the position they play;
one of them almost froze to death on the left-wing.


Heard about the professional ice hockey player who switched his profession to become an accountant?
He got an off-ice job.


From where do hockey players get their hockey uniforms?
New Jersey.


Do you know that hockey players love drinking tea?
Their most favorite one is penal-tea.


Why does the hockey rink get hot after the game?
All the fans left.


Which animal is really good at playing hockey?
A score-pion.


What position would Luke Skywalker play if he was on the Star Wars hockey team?
X-Wing.

Laugh more: Funny Star Wars Jokes


Why was the hockey player arrested and taken to jail?
They say he shot the ball.

Why was the hockey player arrested and taken to jail? They say he shot the ball.


Heard about the ghostbuster who was signed to the hockey team?
He is great at blocking ghouls.


What hockey position did the ghost play in?
He played as a ghouli.


How are hockey players paid?
With a check.


Why do people say that carpenters can not play hockey?
They always get nailed to the boards.


Why do hockey players avoid dressing up for Halloween?
Because they have to take their face-off.

Laugh more: Funny Holiday Jokes


 

Why was the young hockey player not able to play in the school music band?
He broke his trombone.


What happened to the hockey player who was demanding money?
They gave him a check.


Why are stand up comedians so good at playing forward?
They are always prepared with their hockey shtick.


Why do they say that Canadians are better than Germans at the game of hockey?
Canadian people have their ‘eh’ game while Germans bring their wurst.


What is the reason that the hockey NHL players never sweat during a match?
Because all the stadiums have lots of fans.


When do hockey players wear formal attire?
When it is a tie game!

When do hockey players wear formal attire? When it is a tie game!


What was the only thing constant in the Ottawa Senators Stadium during the mid-2000s?
There was always a ‘Pizza Line’ there.

Laugh more: Funny Pizza Jokes


What would you call the former amateur hockey players who have regrets for not playing the game professionally?
Wayne Regretzky!


What makes the defeated hockey team and scrambled eggs similar?
Both are beaten up real bad.


Do you know why the magician was selected as a forward in the local hockey team?
The coach was impressed by his hat-tricks.


 

Why was the dog who was playing hockey put in the penalty box?
He got 2 minutes for ruffing.


What is the similarity between a game of hockey and an airboat?
Loud fans.


What is the reason that the ice hockey rink has curved corners?
Because if they were square with an angle of 90 degrees, the ice would simply melt.


What is the similarity between a goldfish and an ice hockey player?
The only way one can get their attention is by tapping on the glass.


Who was the famous sitcom character who loves hockey?
It is none other than Stanley from ‘The Off-ice.’


How are hockey players so good at making new friends?
They know how to break the ice real quick.


Were you watching the hockey match last night?
It was like the perfect icing on the cake.

Laugh more: Funny Cakes Jokes


Why can’t a pig play hockey?
They hog the puck.


What did a goalie say to the puck after the game of hockey?
“Catch you later, mate.”


Do you know something funny happened last night?
We were watching a wrestling match, and a game of hockey broke out!

Do you know something funny happened last night? We were watching a wrestling match, and a game of hockey broke out!


What does an Eskimo hockey player love to eat?
Ice berg’ers.


Why was the hockey player sent to the penalty box?
After numerous icings in a hockey game, he needed time to thaw out.


What happened when a bunch of friends decided to go to the hockey game?
Everyone agreed it was too far,
and they will have to put that idea on ice.


Funny Athletic Jokes

Being a good athlete entails much more than simply excelling in a sport. There’s also a mental aspect to it. Don’t get too pressured. We’ve come up with a list of athlete jokes that can help your mind to be at ease even for a while.


If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes!


Why did the bald man take up running?
To get some fresh ‘air.


Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news,


the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.


What’s tennis players favorite city?
Volley wood!


What do you do when you play the National Volleyball Team?
You wear football helmets.

football helmets


The ladies say I’m like Usain Bolt in the bedroom…
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.


What is a goal keepers favorite snack?
Beans on post!


Why aren’t baseball stadiums built in outer space?
Because there is no atmosphere!


What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
The scenter spot!


Where do football directors go when they are fed up?
The bored room!


What do you get if you cross a skunk and a pair of tennis rackets?
Ping Pong!


Who was the fastest runner?
Adam. He was first in the human race.


Whatdoes a carpenter have in common with a volleyball player?
They both like tohammer spikes.


How does a physicist exercise?
By pumping ion!


Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
Because he liked sole music!


What stories are told by basketball players?
All stories!


Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
All of them, a crossbar can’t jump!


How do baseball players stay cool?
They sit next to their fans!

How do baseball players stay cool? They sit next to their fans!


What can you serve but never eat?
A volley ball


Why was the blonde jogging backwards?
She wanted to gain weight!

Laugh more: Blonde Jokes


A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes.
My dogs don’t even own bikes…

Laugh more here: Funny Cycling Jokes


What did they call Dracula when he won the league?
The champire!


Why did a outfielder take a piece of rope onto the field?
He was the skipper!


Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.


Knock Knock Sports Jokes

Are you tired of the corny and cheesy jokes? Then check out our knock knock jokes about sports.


Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Adelia.
Adelia who?
Adelia the cards and we’ll play poker.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Adelia. Adelia who? Adelia the cards and we'll play poker.


Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Adolph.
Adolph who?
Adolph ball hit me in the mouf dat why I talk dis way.


Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Amy.
Amy who?
I’m always Amy for the top!


Knock, knock!
Who’s there
Beecher.
Beecher who?
Beecher at any game you pick.


Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Bella.
Bella who?
Bella the ball.


Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben out of shape so I’m working out.


Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe you come over and play?


Dirty Sports Jokes

Gather your friends and make sure that there are no kids around because we’ve got a list of funny sport jokes that will make you laugh so hard. 


Do you like Basketball?
Because I would like to show you my Magic Johnson.

Do you like Basketball? Because I would like to show you my Magic Johnson.


Do you play volleyball?
Because you look like your good on ur knees!


Do you play basketball?
Cause my balls are in your court.


Let’s play midget boxing,
get on your knees and give me some blows


As a baseball player,
I know my way around the bases.


Are you a campfire?
Cause you’re hot and I want s’more

Laugh more here: Funny Camping Jokes


Summary

Playing sports is fun and food for our bodies. It helps is to be active and have a good time when playing with friends. So, gather your team around and share these sports jokes. Your team will be impressed with these hilarious jokes. 

 

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Jimmy
I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not! Here, have a carrot!