112 HILARIOUS Soccer Puns That Will Lead You To The Goal

112 HILARIOUS Soccer Puns That Will Lead You To The Goal

Did you agree that soccer is the most famous sport in the world? These amusing soccer puns and jokes will boost your team spirit as you wait for the game to start. Have a good laugh and you might end up creating the unforgettable and funniest soccer moments.

Cheer your team and the billion soccer fans with our hilarious puns about soccer.

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If you are more of a football fan and looking for some football related puns, we got you covered! Here are some hilarious football jokes and football puns.

Funny Soccer Puns

These funny and short soccer puns are worth your time! Use these hilarious puns and be the star of the team!

Read more: Hilarious Soccer Jokes

The true champion believes in the impossible.

The true champion believes in the impossible

There is no glory in practice, but without practice, there is no glory.

Play with our hearts, not only with our feet.

Futbol: The Beautiful Game.

Strikers get the glory.
Goalies save the day.

Soccer is not something that you can fake.
It’s a feeling, passion, and lifestyle.

Proud to be a soccer player.

Never let the fear of striking keep you out from playing the game.

Our goal is stopping yours.

The past is history.
The future is a victory.

Laugh more here: Hilarious History Jokes

If your jersey is clean, you didn’t play hard enough.

My warm-up is your workout.

The time has come to fight.

Soccer isn’t just a game anymore.
It’s a lifestyle.

Soccer isn’t just a game anymore

One bad game does not define who you are as a player.

Girls just wanna play soccer.

Play like it’s the first and last game.

‘Can’t’ should never be in an athlete’s vocabulary.

Play hard, get dirty, have fun.

If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?

Inside our hearts, the passion of a champion.

Don’t go through life without goals.

Life is like a game of soccer.
You need goals.

Life is like a game of soccer

Funny Soccer Jokes 

Thow some soccer jokes on a tiring day of practice. You can never go wrong with our jokes about soccer. We also have some funny jokes about soccer players in there! 

Laugh more: my favorite 30 BEST Dad Jokes of all time

What’s the difference between a bad soccer team and an albatross?
An albatross has got two decent wings.

What’s the difference between the England soccer team and a tea-bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Life is like soccer.
My mom signed me up for it even though I hate it.

Wanna see my world cup in action?

My mom told me never date a soccer player.
Because there is only a 9% chance they are a keeper.

Why do soccer players hate shallow pools?
Because there is no diving.

Laugh more here: Funny Pool Jokes

Which philosopher was the best footballer?

Which philosopher was the best footballer

Why do dwarves always laugh while playing soccer?
The grass tickles their balls.

Why are soccer stadiums at risk for burning down?
Because of all the matches.

Why did the soccer coach take his team to Olive garden?
He wanted them to pasta bowl.

Read more: BEST Garden Jokes

What do a pro soccer player and a great wife have in common?
They both know how to lay down and fake it.

Why is women’s soccer so rare?
It’s hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.

I passed by the prison today and they were playing soccer on the field
I shouted, “Pass the ball, I’m free!”

Why did Shakira marry a soccer player?
For his stamina mina eh eh!

Why did Shakira marry a soccer player

Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
Because she keeps running away from the ball.

Read more: Disney Jokes

Why are soccer stadiums so cool?
Because of all the fans.

I don’t play soccer because I like the sport.
I’m just in it for kicks.

“Oh my God,” my wife said, smiling through her tears. “I think our son is kicking.”
I said, “Isn’t that how soccer is supposed to work?”

How did the Jewish soccer player get hurt?
He Torah ligament.

Does anyone here like jokes about soccer?
I get a kick out of them.

Does anyone here like jokes about soccer

Soccer Puns for Boyfriend

Spice things up with these amusing soccer puns for boyfriend. These jokes are so cheesy that your boyfriend might melt while hearing them! 

Laugh more here: Funny Boyfriend Jokes

Ghosts that love playing soccer all have the same favorite soccer position.
It’s the ghoul keeper.

Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
It was tired of being kicked around.

Are you Messi?
Cause I am dribbling all over you.

Baby, I can be Spain and you can be Ireland, tonight.
In other words, I’m gonna screw you hard!

Because I play soccer all of the time, I’m really good at footsie.

What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.

What lights up a soccer stadium

Can you be Zidane tonight?
Because I want some head.

There was a chicken that got ejected from the soccer game.
It got dismissed for persistent fowl play.

Every player knows pretty well that they cannot afford to go through life without goals.

Do you play soccer?
Because I think I’m gonna score tonight.

Are you Valdes?
Because I want to teach you how to handle balls.

Hey is your name Vincent?
Because I really need your Kompany.

Hey, did ya know I’m part of a soccer team?
Yeah, hopefully, I score tonight.

Hey, did ya know I'm part of a soccer team

Soccer Puns Captions

Are your funny soccer posts looking for some clever soccer puns Instagram captions? You are in the right place! Scroll down and see some of the best captions that you can use on your post. 

Refuse to lose.

Your pain is our gain.

Soccer is my passion.

Soccer referees send yellow cards to their families on holiday.

Keep calm and soccer on.

What soccer players need: a good kick in the grass!

What soccer players need: a good kick in the grass

Intensity is not a perfume!

We make dirt look good.

Bustin’ ours to kick yours.

Let your feet do the talking.

All about the kicks.

They shoot, they score.

Best in the field.

Your mom called – you left your game at home.

It takes balls to play soccer.

Kicking and running while looking stunning.

It’s good to have goals.

Pass unto others as you would have them pass unto you.

Pass unto others as you would have them pass unto you

Cute Soccer Sayings

We understand that sometimes thinking of a caption for social media is too hard. Have a look at these clever soccer sayings and use them as captions as your post your favorite shot on social media!

You never lose a game if the opponent doesn’t score. – Darrell Royal

The head talks to the heart and the heart talks to the feet. – Pele

I learned all about life with a ball at my feet. – Ronaldinho

A penalty is a cowardly way to score. – Pelé

I do it because I love it and that’s all I care about. – Lionel Messi

You have to fight to reach your dream. You have to sacrifice and work hard for it. – Lionel Messi

Good luck is a residue of preparation. – Jack Young blood

 A winner never stops trying. – Tom Landry

The door can never be closed for good to any player. – Zinedine Zidane

The door can never be closed for good to any player

Don’t give up at half time. Concentrate on winning the second half. – Paul Bear Bryant

In football, the worst blindness is only seeing the ball. – Nelson Falcão Rodrigues

As a footballer, you always want to test yourself against the best. – David Beckham

I’ve never tried to hide the fact that it is my intention to become the best. – Cristiano Ronaldo

Read here: Motivational Ronaldo Quotes

I just hate losing and that gives you an extra determination to work harder. – Wayne Rooney

I’ve never scored a goal in my life without getting a pass from someone else. – Abby Wambach

We should make the most of life, enjoy it because that’s the way it is. – Cristiano Ronaldo

There is always someone out there getting better than you by training harder than you. – Pele

There is always someone out there getting better than you by training harder than you

Funny Sports Puns

Tired of our soccer puns? Don’t worry because we have a list of these amusing sports puns!

Why didn’t the defensive end pass his tests?
Because he was the tackling dummy.

What gets harder to catch as you keep running faster?
Your breath.

Why was the golfer wearing two pairs of pants to the game?
She did it in case she got any holes in any one of them.

Why were the basketball players sent to jail?
It’s because they shot the ball.

Laugh more: Basketball Jokes To Score a Good Laugh

What is the favorite letter of any golfer?

Why is tennis a really loud sport?
It’s because the players raise quite a racket.

Why is tennis a really loud sport

What happens to be the hardest part when it comes to skydiving?
It’s the ground.

What are you going to do if someone asked for a donation for your local swimming pool?
I’d give them a glass of water.

What would you call a boat that is full of well-behaved and polite football players?
It’d be called good sportsmanship.

How do lacrosse players deliver their messages?
They do it by Air Mail.

Why did the soccer ball decide to quit the team?
Well, he became tired of getting kicked around.

Which goalie has the ability to jump higher than any crossbar?
All of them do. Because crossbars can’t really jump.

Why are all the soccer players good at math?
Because they all know how to make use of their heads.

Why are all the soccer players good at math

Why are hockey players like goldfish?
You could tap on the glass and you’d get their attention.

What would you give any hockey player when they demand to get paid?
A check.

What would you get if you cross a carpet and a quarterback?
A throw rug.

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Harvey who?
Harvey playing this game forever?

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Andy who?
Andy winner of today’s game is…

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Fred who?
Fred I can’t come to play today.

Fred I can't come to play today

Extra: Soccer Puns Team Names

  1. Neymar Mr. Nice Guy
  2. Benteke Fried Chicken
  3. Best Team Evra!
  4. Who Ate All DePays?
  5. Willian Dollar Baby
  6. Krul Intentions
  7. Klose, but no cigar!
  8. Kroos Control
  9. Kroos-ing for a Bruising
  10. Ctrl Alt De Laet
  11. Beat around de Buchy
  12. Mr. Bojan-Goals
  13. The Kouyate Kid
  14. Ayew Messi?
  15. For Fuchs Sake
  16. No Fuchs Given
  17. Chicken Fried Reus
  18. Moves Like Agger
  19. No Weimann No Cry
  20. Bad Kompany


Got your favorite soccer puns? We hope you enjoyed the puns that we have put together. Share these with your friends and families and have a good laugh.

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