Hilarious Dad Jokes

100+ Best Dad Jokes of All Time (Creative and Eye-Rolling Puns)

Let’s admit it, we all heard a joke from our dads. Whether they were funny or hilariously bad, we always have a memory of dad jokes since we were young or even up to this during family dinners or special gatherings. Dad’s are always there with a handful of jokes to share with everybody.

So if you’re looking or longing to hear dad jokes, we have compiled a great list of dad jokes that you should hear. Or maybe share it with your friends and feel how it is for dads to tell jokes.

Read: my favorite 30 BEST Dad Jokes of all time

We have divided each Dad Joke into several categories. Check them all out below.

We have also collected the best funny jokes for kids and family. Are you brave enough? I also put together the best MOM Jokes – they might be even better than these daddy jokes? 😉

Question and Answer Dad Jokes

Here are some of our best collection of question and answer dad jokes to make you laugh!


Question: Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Answer: Well, I’m not going to spread it


Question: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

Answer: It was two tired.


Question: Dad, can you put my shoes on?

Answer: No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.


Question: Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

Answer: Because then it would be a foot.


Question: What time did the man go to the dentist?

Answer: Tooth hurt-y.


Question: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Answer: Ten tickles.


Question: Why did the math book look so sad?

Answer: Because of all of its problems!


Question: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Answer: Nacho cheese.


Question: Why do melons have weddings?

Answer: Because they cantaloupe!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh, ten tickles

Question: What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

Answer: Attire!


Question: How many apples grow on a tree?

Answer: All of them!


Question: Why did the old man fall in the well?

Answer: Because he couldn’t see that well!


Question: Want to hear a joke about construction?

Answer: I’m still working on it!


Question: I’m starting a new dating service in Prague

Answer: It’s called Czech-Mate.


Question: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

Answer: A dino-snore!


Question: Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Answer: Because she was stuffed.


Question: What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Answer: Between us, something smells!


Question: What did one plate say to the other plate?

Answer: Dinner is on me!


Question: How does a vampire start a letter?

Answer: Tomb it may concern…


Question: Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Answer: Because 7, 8, 9.


Question: What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Answer: Don’t take me for granite!

Why was the baby strawberry crying, because her parents were in a jam

 

Question: What kind of tree fits in your hand?

Answer: A palm tree!


Question: Why was the baby strawberry crying?

Answer: Because her parents were in a jam.


Question: How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

Answer: She starts coffin.


Question: What did the banana say to the dog?

Answer: Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.


Question: Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?

Answer: Because she will let it go.


Question: What did the nose say to the finger?

Answer: Quit picking on me!


Best Dad Jokes from Instagram

It is really not a surprise to find all kinds of jokes on Instagram and TikTok. Our favorite dad jokes accounts are @dadsaysjokes and @waynebutlercomedy. Especially Wayner Butler is incredibly funny – at least for us!

He makes tons of videos for TikTok and Instagram. His daughter and her cats are participating. Wayne is telling the jokes to them. Have a look!

Here is a collection of our favorite dad jokes that made us laugh.


Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest.

For I have synonymed.


Milk is good.

But it could be butter.


I told my carpenter not to carpet my steps. He gave me a blank stair.


My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating?”

So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off her parent’s house.


Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.


Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist.

While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

The Opportunist.


Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.

Apparently he’s been using-performance enhancing rugs.


99.9% of people are dumb.

Fortunately, I belong to 1% of smart people.


To the guy who stole my antidepressants.

I hope you are happy.


I just saw my wife trip over and drop a basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.


I’m done being a people pleaser.

If everyone’s ok with that.


My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

My wife: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.


Do you know what Captain Hook’s least favorite App is?

Tiktok.


I spent all day crushing Coke cans yesterday.

It was soda depressing.


Did you know French Fries weren’t actually made in France?

They were made in Greece.


What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man in a bicycle?

Attire.


What’s made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.


Someone just called my phone, sneezed, and hung up.

I’m sick and tired of these cold calls.

Read: actually funny lockdown and covid-19 jokes – some might be tasteless


I just got a job where they pay you to sleep.

It’s my dream job.


I actually had to break up with my old video console, it’s now my ex box.

Nothing personal just time for a Switch.


What did the bacon say to the tomato?

Lettuce get together.


The can opener isn’t working anymore.

Guess it’s can’t opener now.

Best One-liner Dad Jokes

Dad jokes are so funny that even one-liner dad jokes are a hit! Find out more funny dad jokes below.


I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.

It’s impossible to put down!


I’m on a seafood diet.

I see food and I eat it.


It takes guts to be an organ donor.


I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.


Don’t trust atoms.

They make up everything!


I would avoid the sushi if I were you.

It’s a little fishy!


The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.


My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right!


I thought about going on an all-almond diet…

But that’s just nuts!

RIP boiled water, you will be mist

Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.

It was a briefcase.


Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.


Spring is here!

I got so excited I wet my plants!


I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!


I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.

It was sole destroying!


R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist.


I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.

She seemed surprised!


To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word!


My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!


I tell dad jokes but I have no kids…I’m a faux pa!


Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip?

I was heels over head!


I’ll call you later.

Don’t call me later, call me Dad!

Don't spell part backward. It's a trap

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.


Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.


I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory, all I did was take a day off!


Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.


I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!


It takes guts to be an organ donor.


Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.


I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.


Don’t spell part backward.

It’s a trap.


I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.


Whenever I lose my TV controller, I always find it at a remote location.


Keep the dream alive — hit your snooze button.


It sure takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.


I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.


Animal testing is a terrible idea — they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.


Funny Dad Joke Puns

Want more? What about Dad Joke Puns? I hope you’re still looking for more because we got more funny dad jokes for you!


I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.


When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.


I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.


A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!


I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!


I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary. I told him, “Mark, my words!”


If two vegans get in a fight, is it still considered a beef?


I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.

Good thymes.


I got a hen to regularly count her own eggs.

She’s a real mathamachicken!

Someone complimented my parking today

What rhymes with boo and stinks? You!


Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said “parking fine.”


I invented a new word today: Plagiarism!


Five out of four people admit they’re bad with fractions!


My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?”And I told him, “No it doesn’t!”


I’m thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it’s only holding me back.

What's Forrest Gump's password, 1forrest1

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”


Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.


I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!


I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.


What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1


To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.


If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?


A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one nightstand.

Dad Jokes for Kids

Of course, dad jokes wouldn’t be dad jokes without the kids. The number one fans of dad jokes are really the kids. Their the inspiration and the reason for it all, so here are dad jokes for kids.


Question: Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field!


Question: How does a penguin build its house?

Answer: Igloos it together!


Question: Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?

Answer: Because they have no body to go with!


Question: Can February march?

Answer: No, but April may!


Question: Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Answer: He neverlands!


Question: Why do vampires seem sick?

Answer: They’re always coffin.

Can February march, no, but April may

Question: What did the slow tomato say to the others?

Answer: Don’t worry, I’ll ketchup.


Question: Why did the coffee go to the police?

Answer: It got mugged.


Question: What’s a ninja’s favorite type of shoes?

Answer: Sneakers!


Question: How do celebrities stay cool?

Answer: They have lots of fans.


Question: Did you hear about the bacon cheeseburger who couldn’t stop telling jokes?

Answer: It was on a roll.


Question: Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?

Answer: He wanted his quarter back.


Question: Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

Answer: They’d crack each other up.


Question: Why don’t crabs give to charity?

Answer: Because they’re shell-fish.


Question: What did one ocean say to the other?

Answer: Nothing. They just waved.

Why don't eggs tell jokes, they'd crack each other up

Question: What did the little corn say to the mama corn?

Answer: Where is pop corn?


Question: How do you talk to a giant?

Answer: Use big words!


Question: What did one volcano say to the other?

Answer: I lava you!


Question: Where do pencils go on vacation?

Answer: Pencil-vania.


Question: What do you call a funny mountain?

Answer: Hill-arious.


Question: What do you call an old snowman?

Answer: Water.


Question: Why did the giraffes get bad grades?

Answer: She had her head in the clouds.

Hilarious Classic Dad Jokes

Oh yes! The classics! Let’s not forget to include these hilarious classic jokes from all time.


Want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it’s tearable.


What did the Ranch say when someone opened the refrigerator door?

“Close the door, I’m dressing!”

What do scholars eat when they're hungry, academia nuts

Two peanuts were walking down the street.

One was a salted.


What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!


I don’t really call for funerals that start before noon.

I guess I’m just not a mourning person!


What do scholars eat when they’re hungry?

Academia nuts.


If an English teacher is convicted of a crime and doesn’t complete the sentence, is that a fragment?


Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?

They just seem a little shady!


One of my favorite memories as a kid was when my brothers used to put me inside a tire and roll me down a hill. They were Goodyears!


A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future.

The doctor asks him, “How long have you suffered from that condition?” The guy tells him, “Since next Monday.”


Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg.


Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?

“Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”

My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Times, they're his watch dogs

My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex.

They’re his watch dogs!


Two goldfish are in a tank.

One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”


When the grocery store clerk asks me if I want the milk in a bag, I always tell him, “No, I’d rather drink it out of the carton!”


After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table.

I needed a running start, but I made it!

Summary for Dad Jokes

Did you enjoy our collection of daddy jokes? Enough to get your stomach hurt with laughter and giggles? Well, I hope you did because there are some more jokes you can enjoy.

Quick reminder, here are my favorite 30 BEST and FUNNIEST Dad jokes ever.

Check out Cat Jokes and Facts and more of Funny Animal Jokes.

We have also Funny Teenage Jokes One-Liners.

For even more also check out:

Over to you

We would love to make this article even better and we would like you to be part of it. Comment down below and share with us your best dad jokes or your dad’s top joke that made you laugh on the floor.

Always remember, have a good laugh!

Julia
I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh.