107 REALLY BAD Jokes - for Friends and Dads (Cringeworthy!)

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100 Bad Jokes That Are Good

Looking for a bad joke of the day to share with your friends? We have collected really bad jokes that are perfect for a boring day at home. Check out our funniest awful jokes!

Read more: Best dad jokes you’ll ever find!

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
“Graaaaaaaains!”

My new thesaurus is terrible.
Not only that, but it’s also terrible.

I used to hate facial hair…
But then it grew on me…

Does Forrest Gump belong to Gen X, Gen Y, or Gen Z?
Nope. He belongs to Gen A.

What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
“Oh sheet!”

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Hey.”
The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”

Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs?
Cause the cow’s got the udder!

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents.

Read more: Funny Christmas Puns For Kids

Two guys walk into a bar.
And the third one is a duck.

Three fish are in a tank.
One asks the others, “How do you drive this thing?”

Manan: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Matt: Why?
Manan: Because it was outstanding in its field.

What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?
Its butt.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be mass confusion!

What kind of dogs love car racing?
Lap dogs!

What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent?
“Show me the honey!”

What do you call birds who stick together?
Vel-crows.

Today I gave my dead batteries away.
They were free of charge.

What do you call it when one cow spies on another?
A steak out!

What do bees do if they need a ride?
Wait at the buzz stop!

What do you call a monkey that loves Doritos?
A chipmunk!

Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda pressing!

Do you remember that joke I told you about my spine?
It was about a weak back!

I just went to an emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tiers.

When’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurtie!

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’re bagels!

Laugh more: Funny Bagel Puns

What do you call a farm that makes bad jokes?
Corny!

Why do fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!

What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends!

What do you tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast!

Why was the math teacher late to work?
She took the rhombus.

Read more: EPIC Math Jokes – from Simple Prime Numbers to Odd Jokes for Nerds

I’m really excited for the next autopsy club.
It’s open Mike night!

Where do spiders seek health advice?
WebMD.

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
“HDMI.”

Read more: Master Yoda Quotes

What kind of car runs on leaves?
An autumn-mobile!

Laugh more: Car Jokes that will drive you crazy

I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.
Good players are hard to find.

Before the invention of the wheel…
Everything was a drag!

What do you call it when Dwayne Johnson buys a cutting tool?
Rock pay-for scissors.

What do you call a hippie’s wife?
A Mississippi!

What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?
Put it on my bill!

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto!

What do you give to a sick lemon?
Lemon aid!

What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi Cliff!

Why are there gates around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in!

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef!

Read more: Funny Cow Jokes and Puns for Kids (with Dad Jokes)

What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?
It gets toad!

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus!

My favorite word is “drool.”
It just rolls off the tongue.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands.

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.
Do not read it.

My daughter thinks I don’t give her enough privacy.
At least that’s what she wrote in her diary.

A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.
He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
Well, now, all of them.

Why did the teacher love the whiteboard?
She just thought it was remarkable!

A guy told me, “Nothing rhymes with orange.”
So I replied, “No it doesn’t.”

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European!

What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it’d be a foot.

Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.

What did the drummer call his two twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two.

Laugh more here: Funny Drummer Jokes

I’m not a big fan of stairs.
They’re always up to something.

What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
A stick.

What to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it’s tearable.

How can you make seven an even number?
Just take away the “s”!

What did the lawyer wear to court?
A lawsuit!

What do you call HIJKLMNO?
H20!

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Just follow the fresh prints!

What did the clock do when it was hungry?
It went back four seconds.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
You can call him whatever you want, he’s still not coming.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket:
“Hey, you want to see how far I can kick this bucket?”

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener.

Why did the man get fired from his job at the calendar factory?
He took a couple of days off!

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Because he always gets a hole in one!

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s fine, he eventually woke up!

I want to go camping every year.
That trip was so in tents.

Wait, you don’t want to hear a joke about potassium?
K.

Laugh more: EPIC Classroom Chemistry Jokes – Stay Positive like Proton

How do you organize a space-themed hurrah?
You planet.

Fun fact: Australia’s biggest export are boomerangs.
It’s also their biggest import.

Laugh more: Funny Sydney Jokes

Your ex.
That’s the punchline.

How do you feel when there’s no coffee?
Depresso.

Read more: Coffee Puns and Jokes – Some are Roasted others are Bitter

I broke my arm in two places.
Do you know what the doctor told me? “Stay out of those places!”

What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.

Where did the king keep his armies?
Up his sleevies.

What are the biggest enemies of caterpillars?
Dogerpillers.

What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?
Cheese Was.

What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
“It’s not you, it’s a-me!”

What’s the award for being best dentist?
A little plaque.

What did the finger say to the thumb?
I’m in glove with you.

What do you call a magician dog?
A labracadabrador.

What concert costs only 45 cents?
50 Cent and Nickelback.

What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.

Who invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.

What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung?
The guardians of the Galaxy.

There are three types of people in the world.
Those of us who are good at math and those of us who aren’t.

What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Cashew!

Why do ghosts love elevators?
Because it lifts their spirits.

What’s the best way to carve wood?
Whittle by whittle.

Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.

What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time.

Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.

I’d like to go to Holland someday.
Wooden shoe?

The guy that invented the umbrella was gonna call it the brella.
But he hesitated.

Summary

We hope you enjoy these hilarious terrible jokes that we have compiled for you. Of course, not all our jokes are terrible! We have some hilarious jokes that you might want to look up if you want some more: