It’s that day of the week. Yes, we know you’re longing for the weekend. We are too. We compiled a list of be funny Tuesday jokes so you and your friends can roll over and make it to the weekend.
Midweek is the worst part of the week and we get it, these days can be stressful but don’t fret, this isn’t different from last Tuesday and we got you! It’s few days towards the weekend anyways. So, better check out our jokes for you.
Laugh more with our Monday jokes that will help you get up to bed!
Happy Tuesday Jokes
It’s still a long way till Friday and we know you’re bored and just waiting for the hours to pass. Luckily, we have jokes that you can share and laugh with friends to kill the boredom. Read these jokes and pick out what you think is the funniest and share it with your friends.
A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.
If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.
It’s not how good your work is, it’s how well you explain it.
Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
A work week is so rough that after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
It matters not whether you win or lose: what matters is whether I win or lose.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things.
I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm.
Do stupid things faster with more energy!
I don’t mind coming to work, it’s the 8-hour wait to go home I can’t stand.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
My biggest professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor but me.
The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.
I like my job only marginally more than I like being homeless.
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
The human brain is a wonderful thing.
It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
Jokes for Tuesday? Definitely better than Monday jokes. These corny jokes are perfect for any time of the day from Tuesday until Tuesday night. Check out this jokes list.
What did the calendar say after Tuesday?
Did you hear about the director of the Department of Motor Vehicle who resigned on Tuesday?
He tried to resign on Monday, but found he’d been standing in the wrong line.
My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ …
My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’…
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday.
They just don’t make them like their going to anymore.
Why were my neighbors walking barefoot in their garden?
Because they were celebrating open Toesday!
How many days did it take for Sunday to reach Wednesday?
Read more: Check out our Math Jokes
Why couldn’t Tuesday have fun with his friends?
Because he could never see the weekend from there.
What sounds better than a ‘happy Monday’?
A very ‘happy Tuesday’ indeed.
How do you mark the day when the baby chews food for the first time on Tuesday?
You call it a ‘Chewsday’.
What do you do when Tuesday is standing outside your bathroom door?
You let it sink in.
How do you make a Tuesday better?
You can Choose(Tues)day and just go with it until Friday.
What is common between eggs and Tuesday?
One can make a scrambled breakfast and the other can scramble your week.
How do tacos share stories about their scary experiences up until Tuesday?
…and then came the savior, Tuesday!
Why would you call Tuesday 22nd in February 2022?
A Two’s day full of 22/2/22.
Why didn’t ‘Get up and Go’ arrive at the party on a Tuesday?
Because he ‘Got up and Went’ somewhere else.
Why can’t you change the decision of a seal saying ‘Tuesdays are the best’?
Because it is a seal of approval.
Why do you often see fewer airplanes in the sky on Tuesday?
Because after a long weekend, they’re supposed Tuesday grounded.
Laugh more with our FUNNY Airplane Jokes That Are Ready to Take Off!
Why did taco cry on a Tuesday when it was supposed to be happy because it was Taco Tuesday?
Because a nacho said to it, “I am nacho friend anymore”.
Why shouldn’t you eat a kids meal on Tuesdays?
You shouldn’t eat a kid’s meal on any day because their mother will get angry with you!
What did the employees say to the boss when he could find them on Tuesdays?
They smiled at him and said, “Good employees are just hard to find, especially on a week day”.
Laugh more with our Best Boss Jokes and Puns.
What does a clean Tuesday symbolize?
A cluttered next weekend!
How do you keep the dreams alive on Tuesdays?
By hitting the snooze button.
How can people like Tuesday?
By thinking that it is the farthest from the coming Monday.
Tuesday Jokes You Can use In School
Looking for kid jokes about Tuesday or aiming to be the class-clown? Try to crack the Joke for Tuesday (today). Check out this list and lol to these jokes for days.
Why can’t the kids take a ferry to school on Tuesday?
Because they have tuesday (to-use-da) roadway to reach the school.
What did the weeks say to the boy when he was really worried about Tuesday?
“Don’t worry, Friday is on its way”.
Why are Sundays stronger and more powerful than Tuesdays?
Because Tuesday is just a weak-day.
Why did Pooh like Taco Tuesdays?
Because they help in enhancing his roundness for the rest of the week.
Why were Taco Tuesdays introduced?
Because they wanted to give us something to taco ’bout the whole week.
What did dad say when mom asked him to get groceries alone?
He said, “It’s Twosday, you’ve got to come along with me.”
Funny Tuesday Jokes For Work
Grinding at work and doing repetitive tasks? That saying about Tuesday can’t get you motivated throughout the day. Break that ice and check out these SFW Tuesday funny jokes you can share with your boss and co-workers.
Here are my favorite funny office jokes.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station…
I like work. It fascinates me.
I sit and look at it for hours.
I’m out of bed and dressed.
What more do you want?
Laugh more: Funny teen jokes
Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential.
A man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.
I don’t work well under pressure… or any other circumstance.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
How do construction workers party?
They raise the roof.
If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday.
I want to exchange it for another Friday.
Feeling stressed out?
Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever’s bugging you.
I use artificial sweetener at work.
I add it to everything I say to my boss.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly.
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of “Smart”?
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
The boss frowns on anyone yelling: “Hey Weirdo!”
He says too many people look up from their work.
Things really haven’t gotten worse.
We’ve just improved our inter-departmental communication skills.
Anything that could possibly go wrong often does – as well as a thing or two that couldn’t possibly.
If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
If our boss makes a mistake, it is our mistake.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Good Morning Tuesday Jokes
It’s Tuesday morning and it’s just the second day of the week. Tuesday in the morning is exhausting. It can get quite frustrating as we’re all looking forward to the weekend. But you can tues not to be grumpy and cranky. After all, it’s Tuesday good morning! Check these happy morning jokes.
What do a Tuesday morning and a stress ball have in common?
They both are less busy than a Monday morning.
Why did the employee worry about his Friday being ruined?
Because it was still Tuesday morning.
What did the vegetable salad say to a fruit juice on a Tuesday morning?
They say it is our day, TossedDay!
Why don’t people differentiate between Monday and Tuesday morning?
Because for them Tuesday morning is just as similar to Mondays.
What is the case of a bad Monday called on a Tuesday?
It is just a pre-existing condition.
Why is a Tuesday morning not bad?
Because it a sign that one has survived through the previous Monday morning!
Why did the employee leave the office on a Tuesday morning?
Because his boss said, ‘Have a good day’.
Why are mints necessary for meals during Tuesday mornings?
Because they back you up with an encourage-mint to reach the weekend.
What did the executioner say on a Tuesday morning?
It’s time to beheaded to work.
Why didn’t the teacher read Tuesday morning news?
Because she didn’t want additional Tuesday mournings.
Funny Chews Day Puns
Looking for funny puns about Tuesday? It’s Tuesday wordplay. Toss out the bad vibes and choose to enjoy Tuesday with these funny puns. These are better than fun fact Tuesday.
When it comes to work, change is inevitable, except from the vending machine.
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Keep the dream alive: hit the snooze button.
If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
Archaeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
I always thought Ruby Tuesday was by the Beatles,
turns out it’s by the Cinnabon.
Why is there less air travel on Tuesdays?
Because you’re supposed Tuesday on the ground.
Laugh more: Best funny travel jokes of all time
How do you know the work week will get even crazier after Monday and Tuesday?
Because all that’s left is WTF.
Why can’t Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He’s afraid of that chip tonight.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Those were the days.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Some cause happiness wherever they go.
Others whenever they go.
90% of the things I worry about never happen.
I couldn’t work today because of an eye problem.
I just can’t see myself working today.
When in doubt, mumble.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Tuesday Adult Jokes
Working on a Tuesday is hard. You’re still hungover from the tasks you did on Monday, and the hours are slow. What better way to deal with the boredom than to share some naughty jokes with your co-workers? Pick out your favorites on this list. Not suitable for children.
With the election coming up Tuesday, Exit polls show Donald Trump having a 300 point lead in one state…
My wife says that she will have butt sex if this hits the front page by the morning.
Please don’t upvote, she is on a business trip until Tuesday.
Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful
Bought a toilet brush on Tuesday.
Decide to go back to paper today.
SNL does great parodies of presidential debates.
For some reason this one is airing on a Tuesday though
Taco Tuesday Jokes
One of the best things about Tuesday is Tacos. If you love Tacos, you will definitely go crazy about these Taco puns and jokes. Update your joke menu and share these funny taco jokes with your friends.
Why are tortillas such bad conversationalists?
They always tacover you!
Why does no one know Taco Bell’s secret recipe?
Because they keep it under wraps!
What do you call a semi-aquatic reptile that loves Mexican food?
What is a taco’s favorite TV show?
Better Call Salsa.
Why shouldn’t you trust tacos?
Because they always spill the beans!
What does a taco say on Saint Patrick’s Day?
“Taco the morning to ya!”
Who would be an ideal match for Taco Beast?
Why was the chicken hesitating to cross the road?
Because on the other side of the road, there was a Taco Bell.
Why should you go to Taco Bell with your childhood friends?
To taco bout all the memories you have of each other.
Why did I visit Taco Bell even though I was not hungry?
I was out of gas.
What should someone do if they get diarrhea every time they go to Taco Bell?
They should start ordering online.
How is the hard shell taco in Taco Bell different from the soft shell taco there?
One takes about 30 seconds more in the microwave to get ready.
What will happen if Dominos end up acquiring Taco Bell?
It will be like a hostile tacover.
How would Eminem be the perfect employee at Taco Bell?
Because he is basically a wrap god.
What would have stopped Taco Bell from not opening due to short staff?
Hiring tall people.
What is a good form of exercise for a tacos lover?
Running to Taco Bell every day.
What is the similarity between Taco Bell menu and DNA?
Both are results of permutation combinations of four ingredients.
What would turn out to be a perfect name for a princess who eats tacos the whole day?
Why does Taco Bell not make songs anymore?
Because they are more into making wraps now.
What did the Taco Bell employee say when I asked her if my tacos are going to be long?
She said they are going to be round.
How can a taco get out of taco jail?
By getting Taco Bail.
Why did the Taco Bell waiter get me a chicken taco when I am a vegetarian?
It was just a bad queso miscommunication.
What did I do when the doctor advised me to stop eating McDonalds so much?
I started eating Taco Bell.
What is the name of Tinkerbell’s sister?
What did the manager say when I ate the entire Taco Bell menu?
He asked me to get down from the counter.
What did the employee at Taco Bell do when I asked for salsa?
He started dancing.
What did I say to the person who drove past me at the Taco Bell drive-through?
“Hey, don’t you dare taco-ver me”.
Extra: Tuesday Knock Knock Jokes
Waiter minute while I bring you some tacos!
Summary: FUNNY Tuesday Jokes
Got your favourite Tuesday jokes? We just hope that you made you laugh. Also, watch out for our compilation on Sunday night jokes! While waiting for it, here are are more jokes for you.
We collected as well: