Dogs are man’s best friend! After a long day’s work, your dogs don’t fail to make that stress go away. Just a wag of their tail here and there and you’re all gooey over again. You just can’t help it. They make the best friend in the world and as a great friend, you make jokes about dogs because that’s how we roll! Our funny dog jokes are our funny bark!
You can also read about some of our favorite beach jokes here. I wrote about it because who doesn’t like beaches?
Even better: Who doesn’t think about pirates while on the beach? I don’t know with you but seas and pirates are package deals for me! Check out these funny pirate jokes here.
Dog Jokes One liners
Every joke, whatever category and whatever subject it is, needs a one-liner! Even dog jokes need one-liners. Who can’t laugh at a one-liner joke? These dog jokes are the best laugh-out-loud jokes in the whole world.
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
When a dog runs at you, whistle for him.
— Henry David Thoreau
Q. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A. Because they have two left feet!
Q: What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones?
A: They barium!
Who knew that dog saliva can mend a broken heart.
— Jennifer Neal
Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A Bulldog.
Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
— Ann Landers
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
A: The collie wobbles!
Q: What does my dog and my phone have in common?
A: They both have collar IDs
Yesterday I was a dog. Today I’m a dog. Tomorrow I’ll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There’s so little hope for advancement.
—Snoopy, as written by Charles Schulz
I know someone who has a dog that keeps eating garlic. His bark is worse than his bite.
A friend of mine wanted to start collecting dogs. I gave him a couple of pointers.
A local dog gave birth at the side of the road. She got fined for littering.
I called my dog Blacksmith. Every time I opened the door, he made a bolt for it.
My dog keeps barking every time there is someone at the door. Don’t know why, it’s almost never for her.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
— Mark Twain
Knock Knock Dog Jokes
Because nobody ever thinks that knock-knock jokes are not a thing! These knock knock jokes, even dog jokes, will always be a crowd favorite. Share it the next time you’re having the playdates with other fur-parents!
Leash you could do is open the door!
Arthur any more dogs out there?
Eileen over to pet the dog.
The defense has a hole in it—that’s how I got into your yard!
Ooze a good dog?
Hugh’s a good dog? Me, right?
Irish, I could get a puppy!
Roo oooooh! It’s me, your dog!
Dasum cute dog!
Not “bow who!” “Bow-wow !”
Dog Jokes, Puns
Too tired doing some dog training? We can’t have you scrolling through our dog jokes without giving you some pun, we mean fun! Take a look at these dog jokes and remember to use them with your other friends who love some dog puns.
Q: What do you call a dog that’s ready for spring break?
A: Pug boat
Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!
Looking for some great dog puns?
Then paws what you’re doing and read these!
Anything is paw-sible when you have a dog.
What did the polite dog say?
Thanks, fur everything!
Q: What was the dog’s favorite type of homework to do?
A: A lab report
What did the dog owner say to her new puppy?
“You are so paw-fect. I will love you fur-ever!”
My dog never stands up for herself. She just rolls over.
What did the dogcatcher sing to the stray?
You ain’t nothing but a pound dog.
Q: What do you call a sad pup?
A: Mellon collie
What’s better than a spelling bee?
A talking dog!
What are the favorite dog breeds of investors?
Dogde and Shiba Inu
My dog’s favorite band is
If Italian food is made by Italians and Indian food by Indians,…
who is making Dog food?
Dog Jokes Reddit
Reddit is such a mood when it comes to anything and everything. It’s like a black hole of so many things, including, you guessed it! Including jokes about puppies!
What do you call sleeping puppies?
Do you know why redwood is the favorite tree species of every dog?
It has the thickest bark.
Why is it called a litter of puppies?
because they’ll trash the place
I bought a dog from a blacksmith today.
As soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.
Are you looking for more? Of course, we have more for you. We can’t blame you, puppies are funny!
We hope you’ve enjoyed and laughed along with us while you were reading the puppy jokes listed here! Since you stayed until the end, here are more jokes to give you more giggles and laughter: