43 Short Funny Jokes

While a lucky few are born with the natural talent of being funny, some of us have to work a bit harder to get people smiling. That’s probably why you’re here in the first place. Now this doesn’t mean you aren’t funny, it just means you need some sort of stencil or guide to point you in the right direction. Below, you will find short funny jokes that are easy to memorize.

This may put you at a disadvantage because whenever you remember one, i hope for your sake you aren’t drinking water. If you think your device can survive, try holding a mouth full of water and it’s going to come splashing out very soon. Yes, that’s how funny it gets.

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With that in mind, here are some short funny jokes you could play with.

Short Jokes you can easily memorise

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.


What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little horse!


What is Forrest Gump’s password?
1Forrest1.


Why did the M&M go to school?
He wanted to be a Smartie.

Why did the M&M go to school


What did one traffic light say to the other?
Stop looking at me, I’m changing!


What do you call bears with no ears?
B.


What’s a foot long and slippery?
A slipper!


Why do French people eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!

Why do French people eat snails


What’s red and moves up and down?
A tomato in an elevator!


I invented a new word today: Plagiarism.


What is sticky and brown?
A stick!


How does a rabbi make coffee?
Hebrews it!


Rest in peace boiling water.
You will be mist!


How do you throw a space party?
You planet!


Want to hear a construction joke?
Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.

Want to hear a construction joke


Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!


I hate Russian dolls…
they’re so full of themselves!


Talk is cheap?
Have you ever talked to a lawyer?


Why did the gym close down?
It just didn’t work out!


Two artists had an art contest.
It ended in a draw!

Two artists had an art contest


A plateau is the highest form of flattery.


I have a fear of speed bumps.
But I am slowly getting over it.


You can only get spoiled milk from a pampered cow.


What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick!


You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.


Simple jokes you could write down and reuse


What are a shark’s two most favorite words?
Man overboard!


If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?

If we shouldn't eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge


Have you ever tried eating a clock?
It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.


Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because they are easy to see through.


It’s cleaning day so naturally, I’ve already polished off a whole chocolate bar.

Laugh more with our Hilarious Cleaning Jokes


What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Bison!


Here, I bought you a calendar.
Your days are numbered now.


Where do fish sleep?
In the riverbed.

Where do fish sleep


What did one plate say to his friend?
Tonight, dinner’s on me!


Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.


I tried to sure the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost my case.


Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Because it has a million degrees!


I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.


I have many jokes about rich kids—sadly none of them work.

I have many jokes about rich kids—sadly none of them work.


What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell!

Laugh more: SEO puns and jokes


Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine.


Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.


How do trees get online?
They just log on!


Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s the whole sentence.


My girlfriend treats me like a god.
She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

My girlfriend treats me like a god


Funny Short Jokes you can share with children


I  saw this bloke chatting-up a cheetah.
I thought: ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.


Why did the orange stop?
It ran out of juice!


I never make mistakes…
I thought I did once, but I was wrong.


What does the man in the moon do when his hair gets too long? Eclipse it!


What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt!


I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any


Where does the sheep get his hair cut?
The baa baa shop!


This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper.
He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me.


This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’
I said: ‘Is that a fret?


I have kleptomania.
But when it gets bad, I take something for it.


Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note, it said ‘Parking Fine.

Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today


I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because…
I like that one-to-one time.


My New Year’s resolution is to get in shape.
I choose round.


My wife – it’s difficult to say what she does.
She sells seashells on the seashore.


I told the Inland Revenue I don’t owe them a penny.
I live by the seaside.


Toughest job I ever had?
Selling doors, door-to-door.


I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves


Looking at my face is like reading in the car.
It’s all right for 10 minutes, then you start to feel sick.


I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’.
So we stopped playing chess.


Crime in multi-storey car parks.
That is wrong on so many different levels.


Recently I went on a ballooning holiday – I put on four stone!


Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?

Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge


Summary of Best SHORT Jokes of all Time

A joke does not have to be long, to be funny. I also collected the absolute best funny jokes of all time.

Besides this, I highly recommend to check out my 30 favorite dad jokes.

We collected as well:

 

Michelle
I love cats, colorful plants and having a good laugh with friends. I joined the Jokes Quotes Factory to share my best piece. And where else can I have so much fun while writing? I hope you share my sense of humor. You can find all my articles in my profile.