129 FUNNY Airplane Jokes That Are Ready to Take Off!

129 FUNNY Airplane Jokes That Are Ready to Take Off!

Up, up and away! Are you into aviation and want to be a pilot someday? Or are you a backpacker who loves to travel the world?  Our funny airplane jokes will capture your attention.

You know, not all of us are fan of flying. There are some people who are afraid of heights. If you are that person, you’ve come to the right place. Our collection of jokes and puns about airplane will ease your tension and bring you some laughter.

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Laugh more with our favorite vacation puns and beach jokes (for summer holidays).

Here are funny quarantine jokes for more laughs. That surely will help!

Funny Aviation Puns

Looking for aeroplane jokes? Before you go to the airport and prepare for the take-off, check out our collection of back to back plane jokes that are guaranteed to give the whole family a giggle.

Laugh more here: Funny Pilot Jokes

I failed my aviation exam yesterday, but I was just winging it.

I failed my aviation exam yesterday but I was just winging it.

I really hope this thread takes off.

Rolling over to aviation puns already?

Wow, already turbulence in this thread.

I give you props for trying.

Damn it… Yeah, I’m not too versed in aviation speak.

I was hoping to give this thread a good start but it’s already taken off.

You may enjoy them more if you’re high.

Have you tried using a penetration approach?

I think this thread has lost its touch, it needs to be derailed.

My grandad was responsible for 28 downed German planes in WW2.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left, and two Wrights made an airplane.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left, and two Wrights made an airplane.

Aviation Humor Jokes

Want more jokes about flying? We have more for you! Aviation is a serious business because a lot of people’s lives are at steak here all the time. They really have a small margin of error. Their small mistake can take away hundreds of lives. Indeed, it is a stressful job. So, why don’t you relax your mind and have a look at our hilarious airplane jokes!

My wife and I have decided never to talk again about my addiction to aviation puns.
It’s a soar subject.

I love aviation jokes, but,
They always seem to go over people’s heads.

What do you call Harry Potter in a plane?
The flying sorcerer.

I can’t believe I’m almost finished with aviation school…
This last semester has really flown by.

My dad sees an abandoned building outside Cleveland labeled “Aviation High School”
Looks like the aviation high school didn’t really take off.

Sure geology rocks….
But aviation is really fly!

Do you know what happened when I tried airplane mode for the first time?
I threw my phone but it didn’t fly.

Do you know what happened when I tried airplane mode for the first time

What’s the difference between a copilot and a jet engine?
The jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.

Laugh more here: Funny Pilot Jokes

What do you call an airplane that flies backward?
A receding airline.

Why didn’t the flight attendant let me change my seat that time I sat next to a crying baby?
They won’t do it if the baby’s yours.

Give a man a plane ticket, he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane, he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

My Dad really wanted me to make paper planes with him.
Eventually I folded.

What if a dog flew the first airplane?
It just wouldn’t be Wright.

Read: More funny jokes about animals

What sound does a rubber airplane make?

I was arrested for taking a photo of a landing airplane.
I was charged with in descent exposure.

How do flat-earthers travel the world?
On a plane.

How do flat-earthers travel the world

I don’t get airplane jokes.
They go right over my head.

What kind of bagel can fly?
A plane bagel.

Laugh more: Funny Bagel Puns

I dropped my phone from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
It’s okay, it was in airplane mode.

I keep hanging car fresheners in my airplane.
It really helps with descent.

What’s an airline pilot’s favourite flavour of crisps?

Did you hear about the new TV show about a plane crash?
The pilot was horrible.

What’s another name for the movie Snakes on a Plane?
The Boeing Constrictor.

Who invented the first airplane that wouldn’t fly?
The Wrong Brothers.

Who invented the first airplane that wouldn’t fly

I was once in an airplane when I realized the pilot didn’t pass any proper training.
He was just winging it.

What did the airplane say to the helicopter?
Mad props, yo!

Wanna hear an airplane joke?
Nevermind, it’d go right over your head.

Airline Jokes

Here we have another set of jokes that are totally hilarious.  These airline jokes are great conversation starters for those people who are waiting for their friends and families in the airport. Kill some time with our airplane jokes.

Did you know I can fly on United Airlines from Los Angles to New York in just 60 seconds?
I even called and asked how long it would take, she told me “just a minute”

Laugh out loud with our Hilarious New York Jokes

Delta airlines have stopped using seasoning on board their aircraft.
They only serve plane food.

For more laughs, check our food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious!

I took British Airlines to court after losing my luggage.
The judge threw it out because we had no case.

What do you call a fast food company that also manufactures airliners?
McDonald’s Douglas.

Laugh even more with these jokes about airplanes.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend United Airlines.
One was removed.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend United Airlines

Singapore Airlines are planning to start flights to nowhere.
But I’m pretty sure Malaysia Airlines beat them to it.

Laugh more here: Funny Singapore Jokes

I heard some guy tell two terrible Malaysian Airline jokes…
The first one got no response and the second one was shot down in flames.

What headphones does United Airlines use?
Beats by Dr.

Last time I flew Malaysia Airlines, I didn’t shower first.
I figured I could just wash up on the shore.

Why won’t airlines hire Peter Pan?
Because he’ll never never land.

These United Airline jokes really need to stop.
They’re being dragged out.

These United Airline jokes really need to stop. They're being dragged out.

What’s the difference between Game of Thrones and United Airlines?
One has dragons and the other has drag-offs.

Laugh more here: Funny Dungeons and Dragons Jokes

Malaysian Airlines and United should merge.
That way they can beat their passengers and no one will ever find out.

Cheesy Airplane Puns

Want to impress girls? Well, aside from the looks, it is important to have a sense of humor. Sense humor is one of the traits that girls are most attracted to. So, if you are into flight stewardess or lady pilot, this cheesy airplane puns are perfect!

You must have descended from heaven and then to my heart.

What qualifications do I need to be your frequent flyer member?

Woman, you look plane sexy.

Laugh more with these Funny, Corny, Juicy & Dirty Jokes for Adults (Not for Kids)

We should depart from here and have a soft landing on my bed.

Baby, you have hijacked my heart.

Will you join me for dinner in the mile high club?

You don’t have to worry about bumpy rides. I’ll make it smooth all way.

May I have clearance to ask you out on a date?

May I have clearance to ask you out on a date

I bet I need a sophisticated navigation system to navigate myself to your heart.

I called to check if your runway is ready for landing.

Would you be comfortable if you layover at my place before I send you home?

I never expected to find angels at this altitude.

I experienced turbulence in my heart when I saw you.

You’ve made me lose control and I’m crashing down on you hard.

If you become my pilot, I’ll let you pull the stick.

This place is too noisy. Can we gear up and take off then land some quiet place?

If you want to become a pilot, I can teach you how to push all the right buttons.

If carrying those baggage troubles you, I can carry them at no charge.

Been sitting here the whole afternoon cross-checking you out.

Been sitting here the whole afternoon cross-checking you out.

Want to land yourself a pilot?

Here I am.

I was lost until my radar pointed to your direction.

Excuse me, sweety, you’re hotter than a jet engine set to full power.

Has anyone told you that your eyes are the color of 100LL?

Hey baby, do you have a preflight? I’d love to buy you chocolate.

Will you come to my room and see my E6B?

I’d love us to convert our potential energy to kinetic energy in my bed.

Airport Jokes and Airport Puns

Go over your head by checking out our airport jokes and puns. You will enjoy these jokes that we have prepared for you. These jokes will keep you and your friends laughing while waiting for the take-off.

I was banned from the airport last week.
Apparently security doesn’t like it when you call shotgun while boarding the plane.

I was banned from the airport last week

What is the most common food eaten in an airport?
Plane Bagels.

I can’t stop telling airport jokes.
My doctor says it’s terminal.

All flights from John Lennon Airport are cancelled.
Imagine all the people.

Don’t you just hate that situation when you’re picking up your bags at the airport, and everyone’s luggage is better than yours.
A worst case scenario.

Where did Miami International Airport go?
It went MIA.

It is impossible to play hide and seek in an airport.
You’re always hiding in plane sight.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost my case.

Pilot Jokes and Pilot Puns

Pilot has a very intense job. There job is a no joke but it doesn’t mean that they don’t know how to laugh. Let’s appreciate our pilots by throwing some jokes in the air and making them laugh!

Did you hear about a pilot who took his skywriting exam?
He passed it with flying colors.

Laugh more: Funny Writing Jokes

Did you hear about a pilot who took his skywriting exam

Never ever get on a plane if the pilot is Dutch…
He’ll take off and Netherland.

What do you call a monk with a pilot license?
An Air Friar.

Just had my first day on the job as a co-pilot of the Millenium falcon…
It went well but I made some Wookiee mistakes.

Why was the German pilot so tired?
He was part of the Schluftwaffe

Why did the pilot get sent to his room.
Bad altitude.

What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?
Jet lag.

I hired an ex-pilot to do some painting in my house.
He’s actually pretty good! He made a great job of the landing.

Laugh more here: Funny Painting Jokes

Why do fighter pilots hate playing golf?
They keep hitting bogeys.

Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.
Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.

Why did the philosopher quit his job as a pilot?
He wanted to reach a different plane of existence.

Why did the philosopher quit his job as a pilot - airplane jokes

Why did the Jewish pilot refuse to land at the airport?
Because it was Passover.

Why did the pilot feel insecure?
His job was always up in the air.

Why couldn’t Joseph Stalin be a pilot?
He was always stalin.

Why are pilots so hard to find?
Because they’re always in disguise!

Had a painter and decorator round this week. He’s a furloughed airline pilot…
He made a lovely job of the landing!

You need a pilots license before you become a spy.
After all, you’ll be in da skies.

What kind of pizza did the pilot prefer?

Twenty One Pilots are not a very successful band…
They’re still fairly local

I met a pilot once who said he actually wanted to be a sailor.
He was in the wrong craft.

I met a pilot once who said he actually wanted to be a sailor. - airplane jokes

Flying Jokes and Flying Puns

Here goes another set of jokes about flying. Let your humour be ready for take off and fly high with these funny flying jokes and puns.

I was passing gym class with flying colors until we got to the skiing unit.
It was downhill from there.

I caught my teenage son flying a kite during a thunderstorm, after I told him not to do it.
So I immediately grounded him.

I hear they’re trying to make flying fridges.
It’s a cool concept but I don’t think it’s going to take off.

What does a German-Italian call the flying spaghetti monster?
Oh manigott !

What do you call a flying dinosaur that uses its hands to see?
A tactiledactyl

What do we want?! low flying planes!!!
When do we want them?! Neeeeeeoooooowwww

What is the difference between hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and one’s a yeeted ham.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he *neverlands*

Some aliens in a flying saucer offered to fly me to the moon.
But they wouldn’t let us land because the moon was full.

Laugh more here: Hilarious Alien Jokes

My friend has a job where he keeps seeing flying saucers.
He’s a very clumsy waiter.

I had a paintball exam once.
I passed with flying colours.

Just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate.
Think it was an aeroplane.

Just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate - airplane jokes

Tried to feed my pet aardvark some flying ants today.
He turned his nose up.

A friend has bought an old aircraft, taken the wings off, and turned it into a restaurant.
I don’t think it will take off.

When I wear contact lenses, I keep seeing Russian aircraft flying around in front of my eyes.
The doctor said it could be some kind of optical Ilyushins.

Was given haggis as an in flight meal once.
I’ve had bad food before, but that was plane offal.

Started a new levitation class recently.
I went straight to the top of the class.

How do you know if there is a pilot at the same party as you?
He’ll tell you.

Dark Airplane Jokes

Check out our dark airplane jokes for another level of humour! You might want to tell these jokes when you are not on the air because this can really make someone nervous if they are not up for it. Laugh hard with our dark airplane jokes.

How many pilots do you need for good music?
At least 22.

I hired an ex-pilot to do some painting in my house.
Turns out he’s pretty good at it! He did a great job of the the landing.

I hired an ex-pilot to do some painting in my house - airplane jokes

I want to die like my pilot father, peacefully sleeping.
Unlike the rest of the passengers on the plane, screaming.

The purpose of propellers on an aircraft are to fan the pilot.
When they stop turning, the pilot starts sweating.

What do an internet junkie on dialup and an F18 pilot have in common?
Both break out in cold sweat when their screen show NO CARRIER.

Laugh more: Funny Cold Jokes

My grandad killed 50 German pilots in WW2.
He wasn’t a very skilled mechanic.

I think my spy master has a second job as a pilot.
He says he’s a master of de skies

Propellers on small planes are actually used to keep the pilot cool.
When it stops spinning, you can see the pilot start to sweat.

Kamikaze pilots had a lot of potential.
But it turned out they were all one hit wonders.

“Dad, I want to be a fighter pilot when I grow up!”
“You can’t do both, son.”

A pilot should never go homeless.
Because then he’s going to look for a place to crash.

How do you identify a fighter pilot at a bar?
You don’t, he’ll come up and tell you.

After the helicopter crash, the blonde pilot was asked what happened…
She replied, “It was getting chilly in there, so I turned off the fan.”

After the helicopter crash, the blonde pilot was asked what happened... She replied, “It was getting chilly in there, so I turned off the fan.” - airplane jokes

Summary: Funny Airplane Jokes

Found your favourite airplane jokes? Are you looking for more jokes? Of course, we have more for you.

Since you stayed until the end, here are more clean jokes for kids and adults:

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I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not! Here, have a carrot!