Thanksgiving is one of the most celebrated holidays! It is the time of the year when family gather and have a nice dinner together. We know that you love your families, and we won’t argue with that, but we understand if sometimes they get under your skin around this time of year. Insert some Thanksgiving humor, lighten the mood with our funny Thanksgiving jokes and get a few laughs going as you slice that turkey and pumpkin pie!
We have compiled kid-friendly jokes, from hilarious jokes to puns that are perfect for getting the kids entertained all night long. You really can’t go wrong with these funny jokes about Thanksgiving.
Hilarious Thanksgiving Jokes One-Liners
Kids can be impatient waiting on that turkey to get out of the oven. So, why not start the Thanksgiving dinner with some laughs with our funny jokes for thanksgiving. They will love it!
Hey, I just met you, and this is gravy, but here’s my stuffing, so carve me maybe.
Gobble ’til you wobble.
Getting the longer part of the wishbone is a snap.
We’ll worry about the Christmas tree later.
Today it’s all about the poul-tree.
Don’t make Thanksgiving a cluster-pluck.
What do you call a running turkey?
Why did the cranberry turn red?
Because he saw the turkey dressing!
Feast today, for tomorrow, we shop!
Don’t marsh my mellow.
You’re the belle of the (Butter)ball.
Why did the chef refuse to crack an egg?
He didn’t want to whisk it.
Laugh more: Funny Food Jokes
Baking is my cardio.
They see me rollin’, they hatin’.
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
Wing, wing, wing.
Thanksgiving Jokes And Riddles
Looking for the best joke about Thanksgiving? Keep these amusing Thanksgiving jokes for kids handy in your back pocket when things go bad at your Thanksgiving dinner.
What has feathers and a beak, but is dressed?
A Thanksgiving turkey.
If roses are red and violets are blue, what is stuffed, brown, and blue?
A turkey holding its breath.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Laugh more here: Funny Pumpkin Jokes
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
I have ears but I cannot hear, and I have flakes but no hair. What am I?
If four women can bake four pumpkin pies in four hours, how many pies can eight women bake in eight hours?
If it took three people four hours to roast a turkey, how many hours would it take four people to roast the same turkey?
None! The turkey is already cooked.
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring?
Laugh more: Funny Plant Jokes
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary.
Can a turkey jump higher than a house?
Yes, because houses can’t jump!
What has feathers, is the star of a November feast and goes up and down?
A turkey in an elevator.
What do the Pilgrims, Indians, and Puritans have in common?
The letter I.
What is brown, big, and red all over?
A turkey with cranberry sauce.
I am the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook. What am I?
What can never be eaten at Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving breakfast or lunch!
How can a turkey end up with three legs, even though it only has two legs?
Because it had grown another foot.
I can be crushed, baked, carved and you can see me everywhere on Thanksgiving. What am I?
If you are carving the turkey with an electric cutter, what kind of batteries does it need when it runs out of power?
None—because it run on electricity.
If you feel scared on Halloween and jolly on Christmas,
what do you feel on Thanksgiving? Stuffed.
How can you tell which side of the turkey is the left side?
The part that is not eaten.
I am a key that can fly and gobble. What am I?
When the Pilgrims walked off their boat into the New World, on what did they stand?
Can a turkey fly higher than an ostrich?
Yes, because ostriches don’t fly.
Laugh more: Funny Animal Jokes
Thanksgiving Dad Jokes
We all love our dads and their witty jokes. We think that Thanksgiving parties are the perfect occasion to have them both! Take a look at our Thanksgiving dad jokes that can help you be the star of the night!
Laugh more: Funny Dad Jokes
What kind of music did the Pilgrims play on the first Thanksgiving day?
What will you serve at Thanksgiving dinner if you accidentally sit on the sweet potatoes?
What would you say if it rains cats and dogs on the last Thursday of November?
It is fowl weather.
Laugh more: Funny Cat Puns and Jokes
What is Dracula’s favorite holiday of the year?
It is Fangs-giving day.
Why did the pilgrims’ pants always fall?
Because the pilgrims used to wear their buckles on their hats.
Why was the Thanksgiving feast extremely expensive?
Because it had 24 carrots.
What would the pilgrims be known for if they were still alive today?
What always comes before a parade on Thanksgiving day?
The letter ‘p.’
What face do pilgrims make when they are in pain?
What comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter ‘g.’
How can you know the age of a pilgrim?
By asking them about pilgrim-age.
Where did the Pilgrims first land?
On their feet.
What would you call it if someone presents you with a tofu-turkey?
What pop song do people play on Thanksgivings day?
‘All about that baste.’
What did the pilgrim call his friends who came with him on Mayflower?
How did the pilgrims travel to pursue higher studies?
Laugh more: Funny School Jokes
What will you call a creature who came back bloated from the Thanksgiving feast?
A stuffed animal.
Where can you find a turkey that doesn’t have legs?
On the Thanksgiving dinner table.
What did the turkey say to the computer when it had to urgently search for something?
Google, google, google.
Why can’t a turkey eat anything on the last Thursday of November?
Because it is always stuffed.
What type of key can never open doors?
Thanksgiving Jokes For Adults
Thanksgiving is when you can genuinely reflect and focus on being grateful. Do you know what else you should be grateful for? These hilarious Thanksgiving jokes for adults. Share and laugh with friends.
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
How do you win an argument with your family at Thanksgiving this year?
Hit the “End Meeting” button.
I shot my first-ever turkey for Thanksgiving this year.
Sure scared everyone in the grocery store, though.
So this guy checks into rehab the day after Thanksgiving.
As it turns out, he just couldn’t quit cold turkey.
What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving Day?
On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for one day. On Election Day,
you get a turkey for four years.
How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
Only one, but you have to really squeeze him in there.
What does a disappointed mother turkey tell her kids?
“If your father could see you now, he’d be rolling over in his gravy!”
Laugh more: Funny Mom Jokes
Why was the turkey ruined on Thanksgiving?
I have no idea, but I suspect fowl play.
This morning, my wife said she wanted me to help fix Thanksgiving dinner.
I said, “Why? Is it broken?”
What happened when the cannibal showed up late to Thanksgiving dinner?
He got the cold shoulder.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
Because they saw the turkeys dressing.
What sound does a turkey with one leg make?
I was going to serve sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving,
but I accidentally sat on them. Now I’m serving squash.
What did the obstetrician say when Thanksgiving was ready?
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
What can never, ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
What do jazz-lovers put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
Laugh more: Funny Potato Jokes
What are turkeys thankful for on Thanksgiving?
Thanksgiving Jokes For Church
The church is not all serious business. You can have a good laugh with our Thanksgiving jokes for church. Have a look at what we have compiled for you!
Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such fowl language.
What does a Pilgrim call his best friend?
Laugh more: Funny Best Friend Jokes
What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
What will a turkey, with a dramatic bent of mind, say to another turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.
Teacher: “Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?”
Student: “So we know when to start Christmas shopping!”
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?
What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I’m stuffed!
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving
Laugh more: Funny Fish Jokes
When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
On their feet!
Father asked Abraham to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for, on Thanksgiving”.
Naughty Abraham wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”
Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
He wanted a light snack!
Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wig warm.
What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, Hubble, Hubble.
Daddy asked Little Mandy: “Why can’t you take a turkey to church?”
Little Mandy: “Because they use such FOWL language that Jesus does not like.”
What do the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
God save the kin.
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.
Thanksgiving Jokes For Senior Citizens
If someone is really good at telling jokes, it is our grannies. There is something about them that is so humorous! So, since it is Thanksgiving, why not make them laugh! We gathered these Thanksgiving jokes for Senior Citizens for their amusement.
It’s great that my mother-in-law volunteered to cook Thanksgiving dinner for the needy this year.
You’d have to be needy to want to eat her cooking.
Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare.
They are consumed in 12 minutes. Football halftimes last 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.
If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch,
you must first invent the universe.
Just thought of a plan that would combine the best elements of pie with the best elements of TV.
My plan is to eat pie while watching TV.
Most turkeys taste better the day after.
My mother’s tasted better the day before.
Gearing up for shopping tomorrow.
Just knocked my grandma to the ground.
Laugh more here: Funny Grandma Jokes
Celebrate Thanksgiving the American way:
spend money you don’t have on Chinese products.
Laugh more: Funny Hong Kong Jokes
The best policy for the ingredients in giblet gravy is “Don’t ask, don’t tell.”
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
Vegetables are a must on a diet.
I suggest pumpkin pie, zucchini bread, and carrot cake.
I hope I don’t get mashed potatoes and gravy on my phone again this year.
I’m so stuffed I feel like a bunch of people in matching outfits should be parading me down Fifth Avenue.
My wife asked me how to thaw a turkey?
I said I usually just tell your mom a few jokes. If that doesn’t work there’s always alcohol.
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Ever notice how you never get laid on Thanksgiving?
I think it’s because all the coats are on the bed.
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year.
And then discover once a year is way too often.
For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving,
please resist the urge to brag.
Funny Turkey Jokes
How about jokes about turkey? Thanksgiving is not complete without a turkey on the table. Get ready and dish out our funny turkey jokes.
What type of dessert does a turkey have at the Turkey Day feast?
How do you tell the difference between turkeys and chickens?
Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.
Laugh more: Funny Chicken Jokes
If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
Laugh more here: Humorous College Jokes and Puns
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To try to escape the Thanksgiving butcher.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove it wasn’t chicken.
What’s a turkey without feathers called?
What glass do turkeys drink wine from?
Laugh more: Funny Wine Jokes
How does a limping turkey walk?
It wobble, wobbles.
What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving?
It’s already Thanksgiving again,
because time flies — even if turkeys don’t.
The only ones more stuffed than us on Thanksgiving are the turkeys.
Why wasn’t the turkey hungry on Thanksgiving?
It was already stuffed.
If things go wrong with Thanksgiving dinner,
don’t lose your head. The turkey already did that for you.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a millipede?
Plenty of drumsticks for Thanksgiving dinner.
Laugh more: Funny Biology Jokes
What do Thanksgiving turkeys become after they die?
Why did the turkey go to the plastic surgeon right before Thanksgiving?
To get a breast reduction.
What kind of key has legs but can’t open doors?
The key to a great Thanksgiving?
What dance should everyone do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot.
What do you call a turkey the Friday after Thanksgiving?
What did the pilgrims use to bake their Thanksgiving desserts?
What unit of measurement did pilgrim cookbooks use?
Why didn’t the Thanksgiving band get to perform?
Someone ate the drumsticks.
What does a vampire call Thanksgiving?
What do selfish people call Thanksgiving?
Stuff your guests with some Thanksgiving puns while waiting for that delicious pumpkin pie. Get ready to gobble up our puns!
My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn’t quit cold turkey.
Let’s get basted.
I just met you, and this is gravy, but here’s my stuffing, so carve me maybe.
Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!
Let’s give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.
I’m all about that baste.
I can’t quit cold-turkey.
I was planning on taking home leftovers,
but all my plans were foiled.
Oh my gourd, I’m stuffed.
I only have pies for you.
Will I eat leftovers for a week?
I cran, and I will.
Being grateful is one of the good things you can impart to your children. It gives hope and draws positive emotions, and builds strong relationships. We know that it is not always easy but creating an attitude of gratitude and looking for things to be thankful for is something that we want to impart to our kids. Enjoy and cherish these moments.
We still have more jokes for you!
- Funny quotes
- Jokes for Teens (that are funny!)
- Funny Questions (and answers)
- Star Wars Puns You didn’t know you need in your life!
- Funny Clean Jokes
- Love Jokes
- Coffee Puns and Jokes
- Science Jokes
- Funny Mum jokes
- Beach Holiday Jokes
- Funny Thanksgiving Jokes
- Funny Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes
- Funny Grammar Jokes
- Witty Time Jokes
- Funny Doctor Jokes
- Funny Fire Jokes That Will Burn
- Funny Army Jokes