37 EPIC Classroom Chemistry Jokes – Stay Positive like Proton

You can’t help it, there are too many names in the periodic table and it’s just there begging a chance for the  chemistry jokes that could last a lifetime! While I agree with you that your common go-to pun is how the periodic table lacks the chemical elements U and I because that’s the only elements that matter, there are still so many jokes about chemistry you can use to get a good laugh from your classmates, co-workers, families, and friends. Basically, everyone.

Do you know what you need? Don’t tell me chemistry!

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Good timing. That’s what you need. Hit those chem jokes at the perfect time and you’ll have the room giggling in no time!

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Chemistry Jokes for Students

Some of the best ways to break the ice in the classroom is by throwing a joke and if it’s chemistry time, then there’s no better way to start than funny chem jokes. So, don’t hesitate to pull a chemistry pun to the class and see who gets it first. Remember, the one who laughs first will probably get the A+ mark in Chemistry puns 101!

Let’s take all the dumb chemistry jokes and BARIUM.

What is the name of agent 007’s Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.

Chemistry jokes on Eskimo

Does the lab smell like rotten eggs?

Sorry to hear about your sulfuring.

Why can you never trust an atom?

They make up literally everything.

Question: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements?

Answer: Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

You may have graduated but I have got many degrees.

If Iron man and silver surfer teamed up, they’d be alloys.

What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?


What emotional disorder does a gas Chromatograph suffer from?

Separation Anxiety

Chemistry jokes for students

What do you call a salty car?

a sodium chlo-ride.

Laugh more: Funny Car Jokes

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn’t put it down.

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?


You should, they’re sodium funny!

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?

How did it go?

It went OK2!

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

What element derives from a Norse god?


Chemistry jokes on elements

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?

Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-oh acid

Chemistry Jokes for Teachers

Pull a fast one with teachers! Here are some of the funniest chemistry jokes you can try on your teachers. Start your reporting with one of these chemistry jokes to get your teachers’ attention.

It’s one way to let them know that you know your report like the back of your hand. It is another to let them know that you’re not too nervous about it that you can’t throw the class and your teacher that epic chemistry jokes of all time!

Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

It’s pretty basic stuff.

Once, I told a chemistry joke

there was no reaction.

I’m a chemistry teacher

If I don’t have a solution, I will make one up!

Chemistry jokes for teacher

On the first day of chemistry class, everyone thinks I cook meth.

If I had a choice between DNA and RNA, I would choose RNA

Because it has U in it.

I heard that oxygen and magnesium were going out and I was like

O Mg.

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

 Chemistry can cause alkynes of trouble

Acid what you did there.

What is the chemical formula for “banana”?


What do you do with a dead chemist?


Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They’re cheaper than day rates.

You must be made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon because you’re so 


How am I supposed to be able to balance chemical equations

when I can barely balance my life.

My teacher threw sodium chloride at me

That’s a Salt.

Chemistry jokes on salt

Are you made of copper and tellurium? because you’re


The Study of Electrons:

I don’t know about you, Jerry, but I’m feeling a lot of negative energy in this room.

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Organic Chemistry Quotes

Organic chemistry as a subject is hard, everybody knows it! Or maybe that’s only true for those students who just don’t get the chemistry behind it! Did you see that I did there? Chemistry jokes! Here are some of the funny organic chemistry jokes you can share with your friends when your mind doesn’t seem to grasp whatever’s discussed in class. Break a leg!

Chemistry is like cooking

Just don’t lick the spoon.

Can’t help falling in love with chemistry.

Think like a proton

Stay positive

Chemistry jokes on proton

Didn’t you finish your chemistry in school?

“You closed the school and burnt all the book.” 

“ah, so I did.”

-Patrick Ness

Chemistry is hard

So is life get over it!

“Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.”

– Mike Adam

Don’t drink water while studying. Because chemistry says that

Concentration decreases on adding water.

Chemistry makes me happy.

If you’re not a part of the solution

You’re part of the precipitate

Chemistry is a girl because she has a

Periodic system.

“Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.”

-Adam Sandler

Neutron: How much for a beer?

Proton bartender:  For you, no charge.

Neutron: Are you positive?


Chemistry is beautiful and it’s all around us. We don’t appreciate it every day but it’s always been there. All the more reason why people just can’t stop making chem puns about it here and there. I hope you enjoyed this list of funny chemistry jokes because surely, we did!

Are you looking for more? Of course, we have more for you.

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