Weather Jokes

117 FUNNY Weather Jokes That You Don’t Want To Mist!

Remember when we were kids, and we used to sing, “Rain, rain go away come again another day” when the sky is gloomy? That song is a lifesaver because it gives us hope, but it does not really do anything, does it? Well, if you want to cheer your kids and friends when the vacation, outings, and road trips got canceled or postponed because of shitty weather, you’ve come to the right place. We have compiled the funny weather jokes for kids and adults that you will enjoy.

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Funny Weather Jokes For Kids

You will never stay blue with our hilarious jokes about the weather that kids will love! Indulge and share these jokes for your amusement. 


What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.

What do snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.


What does a gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!


Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow?
She liked playing cool jazz.


What’s a sled dog’s favorite time at school?
Snow-and-tell.


What do you call a snowman’s kids?
Chill-dren.


What do you call a snowman in summer?
Water.


Clean Weather Jokes For Adults

Weather can be crazy and be a pain but clean weather jokes for adults can make it better. Enjoy the moment as you scroll through these hilarious jokes. 


Why did the two snowmen divorce?
One thought the other was a flake.

Laugh more: Funny Marriage Jokes


Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
You have to hollow out the head.


Did you hear about the rude snowman?
He didn’t carrot all.

Did you hear about the rude snowman? He didn’t carrot all.


Did you hear about the politicians whose best speeches were outdoors in the winter?
He could really turn a freeze.


Where does a bird have the most feathers in winter?
On the outside.


What do you call a wintertime hip-hop artist?
Frozen-T.

Laugh more: Funny Disney Jokes


Best Weather Jokes One Liners

If you are looking for some fun, then you’ve come to the right place. Here we’ve compiled the best weather jokes one-liners that will make you chuckle so hard!


Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
She expected some change in the weather.


What’s the difference between weather and climate?
You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.


What did one hurricane say to the other?
“I have my eye on you.”


How do you find out the weather when you’re on vacation?
Go outside and look up.

Laugh more: Funny Travel Jokes

How do you find out the weather when you’re on vacation? Go outside and look up.


What falls but never hits the ground?
The temperature.


What does everyone listen to, but no one believes?
The weather reporter.


What is the opposite of a cold front?
A warm back.


What do you call it when it’s pouring ducks and geese?
Fowl weather!

Laugh more: Funny Ducks Jokes


Did you hear about the woman who wore sunglasses?
She took a very dim view of things.


What do you eat when you’re stuck in cold weather and angry about it?
A brr-grr.


How much does it cost Santa to ride his sleigh around the world?
Eight bucks. Unless the weather is bad, then it’s nine bucks.


Where do snowmen keep their money?
In a snow bank.

Laugh more: Funny Money Quotes


What do you call a kidney doctor who can also predict the weather?
A meaty-urologist.


How did my cat know about tomorrow’s weather?
He looked at the fur-cast.

How did my cat know about tomorrow’s weather? He looked at the fur-cast.


Cloudy Weather Jokes

Having a cloudy day can make you feel a little sad. So make your day full of happiness by taking a look at these cloudy weather jokes. Enjoy reading!


It was raining cats and dogs, and so there were poodles all over the streets.


What’s the difference between a horse and the weather?
One is reined up and the other rains down.


What happens when the fog lifts in California?
UCLA!

Laugh more: Funny California Jokes


What did one raindrop say to the other?
“Two’s company. Three’s a cloud.”


What type of humor does a dust storm have?
A very dry sense of humor.


What is it called when a high pressure goes on vacation?
A Hiatus.


When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!

Laugh more: Funny Monday Jokes


What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.


What cloud is so lazy that it never gets up?
Fog!


My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer,
but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.


What bow can’t be tied?
A rainbow.

What bow can’t be tied? A rainbow.


Windy Weather Jokes

If it is windy outside, it is good to stay home and stay safe. Relax and read these windy either jokes that will entertain and make you giggle!


Whatever happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by the tornado?
Let’s just say it was an udder disaster.

Laugh more: Funny Cow Jokes


What did the tornado say to the sports car?
“Want to go for a spin?”

Laugh more: Funny Sports Jokes


When are your eyes not eyes?
When the cold wind makes them water!


What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
Twister!


What do you call a bear that got caught in a storm?
A drizzly bear.


How do hurricanes see?
With one eye!


What is a king’s favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!


Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
Fo’ drizzle.


What is a queen’s favorite kind of precipitation?
Reign!

What is a queen’s favorite kind of precipitation? Reign!


Cold Winter Jokes

Get your jackets and prepare to laugh out loud. These cold winter jokes will surely breeze through your minds. Click now and have fun.


What did the icy road say to the car?
“Want to go for a spin?”

Laugh more: Funny Car Jokes


What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.


What do snowmen change into when it warms up?
Puddles.


What’s the best self-defense against an angry snowman?
A hairdryer.


What do you put over a reindeer’s crib?
A snow-mobile.


What does a mountain wear on its head?
A snowcap.


What do you call a penguin that steals calamari?
A squid-napper.

Laugh more: Funny Fish Jokes


What do you call a glove combined with a snake?
Smitten.

What do you call a glove combined with a snake? Smitten.


Did you hear about the lisping snowman?
He came, the thaw, he conquered.


Why do Klingons prefer winter for cooking?
Their dishes are best served cold.


I warned him about starting his own ski resort.
It’s a slippery slope.


No one likes eating outside in the winter.
It’s frost comes, frost served.


What did the sign say in the reindeer stable?
“There’s a snow place like home.”


What did the penguin say when it swam into a wall?
“Dam!”


What do you call a reindeer without eyes?
No eye deer (no idea).


What do trees say after a long winter?
What a re-leaf.

Laugh more: Funny Tree Jokes

What do trees say after a long winter? “What a re-leaf.”


What do you call 50 penguins in the Arctic?
Very lost.


Why do polar bears live in igloos?
To ice-olate themselves.


What do you call an igloo without a toilet?
An “ig.”


Which one is faster, hot or cold?
Hot. You can catch a cold.


What do you call a slow skier?
A slope-poke.


Why don’t penguins fly?
They’re not tall enough to be pilots.


Who’s at the door?
It’s snowbody.


Why are winter days great?
They’re snow much fun!


Why was the blanket discouraged?
The snuggle is real.

Why was the blanket discouraged? The snuggle is real.


Did you hear about the snowman spy?
He has a license to chill.


What did one snowflake say to the other?
“You’re one of a kind.”


How do you warn one of Santa’s helpers?
“Check your elf before you wreck your elf.”


Why is Frosty never late?
Time waits for snow man.


Why is it hard to ski after fresh snow?
With great powder comes great responsibility.


What did one skier say to the other?
“Alpine for you when you’re gone.”


What did the Austrian skier yell when he sprained his ankle?
“Alp!”


What do you call a snowman having a temper tantrum?
A meltdown.


What do you call a winter monster with a six-pack?
Abdominal snowman.


What do yeti on diets eat?
Iceberg lettuce.

What do yeti on diets eat? Iceberg lettuce.


How do you decorate a snowman’s cake?
Lots of icing.


How do you make up a snowman’s bed?
Fresh sheets of ice and a thick blanket of snow.


Why can’t you trust snowmen?
They’re real flakes.


Why are snowmen great at parties?
They always break the ice.


What did the salad say to get inside?
“Lettuce in! It’s freezing out here!”


What did the man say from outside the window?
“Icy you!”


What do you call a photo of the North Pole?
A polar-oid.


Why do penguins swim in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.


Where’s the warmest place in the South Pole?
On a map.


Funny Hot Weather Jokes

Want some summer jokes? Since summer is coming, take a look at our list of funny hot weather jokes that will knock you out on the floor laughing.


How do you prevent a summer cold?
Catch it in the winter.

Laugh more: Funny Summer Jokes

How do you prevent a summer cold? Catch it in the winter.


What did one thermometer say to the other thermometer?
“You make my temperature rise.”


What did one volcano say to the other?
“I lava you.”


What is the best day to go to the beach?
Sun-day, of course


I heard Humpty Dumpty had a great summer…
But he had a horrible fall.


Why is the sun so smart?
It has over 5,000 degrees.


Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
They peel!


How hot is it?
It’s so hot that when I turned on my lawn sprinkler, all I got was steam!


Thunder Jokes

Is there anyone who likes thunder? I am sure that most kids hate it and are afraid when they hear thunder and see lightning so to ease some tension, share these jokes about thunder.


If an orchestra plays in a thunderstorm, who’s most likely to get struck by lightning?
The conductor.


What does a weatherman wear under his trousers?
Thunderpants.

What does a weatherman wear under his trousers? Thunderpants.


What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.


Where do lightning bolts go on dates?
To cloud nine.


What type of lightning likes to play sports?
Ball lightning.

Laugh more: Funny Basketball Jokes


What did one lightning bolt say to the other?
“You’re shocking!”


Why did the lightning get into trouble?
It didn’t know how to conduct itself.


What do clouds want to be when they grow up?
Thunderstorms.


Hot Weather Puns

We all know it, super hot weather isn’t enjoyable. So just chill and have a good time reading these puns about weather which are humorous and relatable.


It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers.
I thought to myself, “Such a lovely day to have a barber queue”.


I spent 60 seconds in this 90-degree weather.
It’s been a hot minute.

I spent 60 seconds in this 90-degree weather. It’s been a hot minute.


I went to Chicago and the weather forecast said it would be muggy.
The forecaster was right because when I went outside, someone stole my shoes.


I received a message from the sun.
After reading it, I was enlightened.


Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer,
but he sure had a great fall.


The brightest days of the months are the sun-days.


It was so hot that the bee’s perm had become extremely unmanageable,
so she turned into a frizzbee.


It’s so hot outside everyone is wearing sweat pants.


It was so hot that when I saw a heatwave,
I waved back.


I’m going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate.
It’s a very heated topic.

Laugh more here: Funny Sunday Jokes

I’m going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It’s a very heated topic.


Knock Knock Jokes

Are you looking for more jokes about weather? Then you need to take a look at our funniest knock-knock jokes that no one had ever heard of. Get ready to laugh out loud!

Laugh more: Funny Knock Knock Jokes


Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Icy you!


Knock Knock?
Who’s there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?


Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it’s going to rain!

Knock Knock Who's there? Butter Butter who? Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!


Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it’s going to rain tonight.


Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
‘Scold outside!


Summary

Sometimes having very cold or very hot weather might be very upsetting, but these hilarious weather jokes can help. Many people struggle when it becomes too sunny or too cold, so make sure to have these jokes around and make people happy by sharing them!

For a rainy day, this will make your day.

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Jimmy
I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not! Here, have a carrot!