If you’re a fan of horse racing, or just love a good joke, then you’re in the right place. Horse racing has a long and storied history, with the first recorded race dating back to ancient Egypt. Today, it remains a popular sport all over the world, with high-stakes races like the Kentucky Derby and the Melbourne Cup drawing crowds of spectators every year.
But horse racing isn’t just about the thrill of the race. It’s also a source of inspiration for all kinds of jokes and puns. From clever wordplay to silly jokes about jockeys, there’s something for everyone in the world of horse racing humor. Whether you’re looking for a laugh to brighten your day or just want to impress your friends with your knowledge of horse racing jokes, we’ve got you covered.
So saddle up and get ready for some horse racing jokes that will have you galloping with laughter!
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We share with you:
Funny Horse Racing Jokes
We all love a good laugh, and what better way to brighten your day than with a quick and punchy racing joke? Whether you’re a fan of horse racing, car racing, or just love a good joke, you’ll find something to enjoy here.
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Why is it hard so hard to carry on a conversation with racehorses?
They don’t stand around furlong!
What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
Sherbet.
What is one of the hardest times to win a horse race?
12:31, because it is 29 to 1.
Did you hear what happened at the racetrack yesterday?
One horse was so slow, they had to pay the jockey overtime.
There’s only one time vampires like watching a horse race.
When it’s neck and neck.
Do you know why horse stalls at the racetrack are labeled A, B, D, E, and F?
Because no one wants to bet on a seahorse.
How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?
Start with a large fortune.
How do you get a jockey to wait a moment?
Tell him to hold his horses!
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
My horse came in so late the jockey was wearing pyjamas.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
What did the mare say to its foal?
“Hay, pasture bedtime!”
Who were the two best horse thieves in the world?
Bonnie and Clydesdale!
What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?
Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
What do you call a horse that’s a world traveler?
A globe-trotter!
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asked him, “Why the long face?”
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Why did the owner name his racehorse ‘Bad News’?
Because bad news travels fast.
How do you spell Hungry Horse in four letters?
MTGG
What’s the difference between horses and zebras?
Zebras are just horses that have escaped from prison.
What did the horse say to his date?
You make me whinny.
Why did the horse have a cough drop?
He sounded a little hoarse.
What did the horse ask his owner?
Did you ask me equestrian?
If she doesn’t rein it in a bit with the gossip, she’s going to stirrup trouble!
This one horse always has a bad attitude. She keeps saying, “Neigh.”
Who do ponies call when they’re possessed by demons?
An ex-horse-ist!
Why did the horse wake up panicked?
He was having a night-mare.
What medicine does the sick horse need?
Cough stirrup.
What’s a horse’s favorite wine?
Chardonhay.
Hilarious Horse Knock Knock Jokes
Whether you’re looking for a laugh to brighten your day or just want to impress your friends with your knowledge of horse jokes, we’ve got you covered. So get ready to whinny with laughter at our collection of funny knock knock horse jokes!
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Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Charlie.
Charlie who?
Charlie horse!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Horsp.
Horsp who?
Did you just say “horse poo?”
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Quiet horse.
Quiet horse, who?
(In a whisper), “your neighbor…”
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Toledo.
Toledo who?
Toledo horse to water is easy. To make him drink is not.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Loud horse.
Loud horse, who?
A loud horse that wants to annoy you!
Horse Puns and Jokes
If you’re a fan of horses, or just love a good pun, then you’re in the right place. Horse lovers will tell you that there’s nothing quite like the bond between a person and their horse. These majestic creatures have been a part of human history for thousands of years, and they continue to capture our hearts and imaginations today.
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Which side of a horse has more hair?
The outside.
You’ll never find a horse using an Android phone.
They only like Apple’s.
Why are horses so healthy?
They have a stable diet.
What score did the horse get in his exam?
Hay-plus.
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little hoarse.
A horse walks into a bar. “Hey,” says the barman.
“Yes please,” says the horse.
What are horses’ favorite sports?
Stable tennis and barn ball!
How do you make a small fortune out of horses?
Start with a large fortune
Which side of a horse has more hair?
The outside
When does a horse talk?
Whinney wants to!
Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?
Because it had bad stable manners.
What did the horse say when it fell over?
I’ve fallen over and I can’t giddyup!
Why did the horse cover his body?
It was neigh-kid.
What’s a horse’s favorite condiment?
Mayo-neighs.
Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding?
It got colt feet!
What do you call a horse that’s not wearing a saddle?
Neigh-ked!
What was the horse scared of getting during summer?
Hay fever!
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?
The ground!
What do you call a horse that stays up late?
A night-mare
Have you heard about the runaway horse?
It’s a tale of WHOA!
Where do horses go when they’re sick?
The horse-pital.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bour.
What do you give a sick horse?
A Cough stirrup.
How does the upbeat horse look at life?
As a glass hoof full.
What did the horse say to end the argument?
Neigh, I disagree.
Summary
Racing is a thrilling and exciting sport, with high-stakes races drawing crowds of spectators from all over the world. But it’s not just about the thrill of the race. Racing also provides plenty of material for humorous jokes and puns. From clever wordplay to silly jokes about drivers and jockeys, there’s something for everyone in the world of racing humor.
So next time you’re at the track, or just in need of a little chuckle, remember to keep these horse racing jokes in your back pocket. Who knows, you might even win the race to make your friends and family laugh! And here are some good laughs too:
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