The weekend has come to an end and we all have to get serious with our lives once more. But on Monday, it feels like our minds are stuck in the fun we had through the weekend, but our bodies are stuck at work or school, which is why we hate Mondays. But what if you didn’t have to? Here, you will find a good number of funny Monday jokes that will keep you smiling for the entire week.
The first day back at work is usually the toughest, but these jokes will help ensure you make it out alive and sane.
Laugh more: Funny Weekend Jokes
Funny jokes to brighten up your Monday – One-Liner
Are you the type who hates Monday? Well, we have compiled these hilarious one liner Monday jokes for you to enjoy!
If you look at it on the bright side, Monday only comes once a week.
Days of the week, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I blink and it’s Monday again.
Mondays are always long and boring, just like the movie.
If you should catch me smiling on a Monday, call NASA immediately. an alien has killed me and is wearing my skin as a disguise.
Rolling out of bed every Monday morning is so easy. Getting off the floor is another story
I love Tuesdays because it is the farthest I can get from Mondays
I will punch Monday in the face if it has one.
A fact of life:
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF…
I know a lot of you are sad because it’s a Monday…
But don’t forget, only 48 hours ago, it was a sadder day.
A rainy Friday is better than a sunny Monday
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life
They say every day is a gift but I don’t think they included Mondays in that list.
…there is only one thing worse than Friday the 13th and that is Monday the 13th.
What if Mondays were created to punish us for the things we did over the weekend?
People say its a Case of the Mondays
Tuesday is when you realize it’s a preexisting condition
One day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours
The same as one Monday on Earth
My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ …
My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’…
Sunday: Greg. Monday: Ian. Tuesday: Greg. Wednesday: Ian. Thursday: Greg. Friday: Ian. Saturday: Greg
So this is how the Gregorian calendar was created.
Why does Gordon Ramsay not like WWE on Monday Nights?
Because it’s RAW!
My wife gives me head every Monday.
She won’t let any of Sunday’s roast chicken go to waste.
Read: Best hilarious marriage jokes for both husband and wife
Questions and Answers Monday Jokes
If Sunday and Monday were fighting, who do you think will win?
Sunday because Monday is a weekday
Hello Monday, can I ask you a question?
You’re always in a hurry to come back, don’t you think it would be lovely if you got a hobby?
Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison at the start of the week?
He was Monday laundering!
Why did the skeleton do a poor job in school on Monday?
His heart wasn’t in it!
Why was the M&M excited to get to school on Monday?
He wanted to be a Smartie!
What did the cashew say on Monday morning?
Monday always drives me nuts!
Why did the zombie have to stay at home from school on Monday?
He was feeling rotten!
Why did the magicians in class get the best mark on their test on Monday?
They got all of the trick questions right!
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at Monday jokes?
He didn’t find them humerus!
What Do You Call Mondays without Any Zoom Meetings?
What does the executioner say on Monday mornings?
Time to beheaded to work
Why did the robot have some trouble focusing at school on Monday?
He was a little rusty!
Did you hear about the African who loved Monday Mornings?
He was a Monday morning kinda Gueye.
What did Monday say to Friday?
Between you and I, today is a good day to hump.
Why did Selena Gomez dump The Weeknd on a Monday?
She wished The Weeknd was longer.
How do you make a blond laugh on Monday?
Tell her a joke on Tuesday
What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?
Monday Jokes For Children
Share these jokes for Monday with your kids!
What did the cyclops say when he was told to wake up for school on Monday Morning?
Eye don’t want to get up!
What is the best way to describe Monday?
Why was the broom late for school on Monday?
What do you call an ant that sells medicine from Monday to Friday, and helps a farmer on the weekend?
What happened to the witches who broke the school rules on Monday?
They got ex-spelled!
Why was the pirate excited for school on Monday?
He had arrrrt class!
How do cheeses great each other on Monday mornings?
Have a goud-a week!
Why can’t Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday lift Saturday or Sunday?
Because Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are weak-days!
On what day do ghosts do their howling?
Why was the root vegetable so happy on Monday?
He was up-beet!
Why was Sunday afraid of Monday?
Because Monday through Friday!
Why did the cat have to stay at home from school on Monday?
He wasn’t feline very well!
What subject did the snake learn in school on Monday?
How did the hen feel on Monday?
Why was the acid always in a bad mood on a Monday morning?
He was an a-mean-o acid!
What day of the week are demons most tired?
Time go go home: Summary of Monday Jokes
With these jokes in your arsenal, you will always find a reason to laugh on Mondays. you could even show these jokes to your friends and the people around you to help brighten up their day. Maybe, Mondays would no longer be so sad and boring.
Also, watch out for our compilation on Sunday night jokes! While waiting for it, here are are more jokes for you.
We collected as well: