Funny Money Quotes

29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time!)

Even one good quote is enough to inspire us to do bigger and better things in life. A single beautiful quote can push us to strive for more. But what if we have multiple phrases for you? What if we have a list of funny money quotes for you? Well, you won’t only be inspired. You’d also be having a grand time while doing the best that you can!

We have scoured through Google to get all these inspirational and funny money quotes for you!

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Funny money quotes

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say

I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay.

Here are a coffee and a million dollars.

very funny money quotes

I don’t understand people who say

I don’t know how to thank you.

Like they never heard of money.

Money is not the most important thing in the world.

Love is.

Fortunately, I love money.

Read more: Inspirational Lionel Messi Quotes

They say that love is more important than money,

but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

Always borrow money from a pessimist.

He won’t expect it back.

Oscar Wilde

awesome funny money quotes

Money isn’t the most important thing in life,

but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the ‘gotta have it’ scale.

Zig Ziglar

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up.

Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.

“What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss.

“Haven’t you got a sense of humor?”

“I don’t have to laugh,” she replied.

“I’m leaving Friday.”

Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.

Son: No!

Dad: The girl is Bill Gates’ daughter.

Son: Then okay.

Dad goes to Bill Gates.

Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.

Bill: No!

Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.

Bill: Then okay.

Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.

Dad: Appoint my son as CEO.

President: No!

Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.

President: Then okay.

This is a BUSINESS.

Jokes often have real meaning or lessons behind them.

Business jokes are often funny because these things happen.

I’ve decided to have myself frozen until science discovers a cure for bad customer service.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money,

I would start searching with them.

A new business came to see a famous stockbroker.

Investor: Can you tell me how much you charge?

Stockbroker: Of course, I charge $10,000 per question.

Investor: Well that’s a bit steep. isn’t it?

Stockbroker: Yes it is and what’s your third question?

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Never lend money to a friend. It’s dangerous.

It could damage his memory.

hilarious funny money quotes

At first, they will ask you why you’re doing it.

Later they will ask how you did it.

Amazing things will happen when you listen to the customer.

My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.

Keep it fast, keep it fair, keep it simple.

That’s our motto here at the law firm of Rock, Paper, and Scissors.

The way I see it, unethical ethics are better than no ethics at all.

I think we can charge more if we calculate our billable hours in dog years.

I pretty much live on the Internet,

so I wrote down Cyberspace as my legal address.

This plan will be much easier not to implement than the last plan we didn’t implement.

I’m not stupid. O course, I’ve got a disaster recovery plan.

Unfortunately, it was on my hard drive when it crashed.

My boss told me to stop acting like a flamingo,

so I had to put my foot down.

A client comes to a bank: My cheque was returned with a remark: “Insufficient funds”.

I’d like to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank?

Send him our toughest collection letter, threaten him with legal action, and subliminally suggest some type of our bodily harm.

But put XOXOXO under my signature to show that we still love him as a customer.

I’d like you to do a presentation on business ethics.

If you don’t have time to prepare something, just steal it off the internet.

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clever funny money quotes

Read: Funny business jokes to share with your boss and friends

Lunch with Lawyers: They gave you 17 sesame seeds on your bun and I only got 16.

And we got a great incentive plan.

The first time you’re late, you’re fired.

My instincts and intuitions are on opposing sides in this legal strategy.

Okay, now that we all agree.

Let’s all go back to our desks and discuss why this won’t work.

Tech support says the problem is located somewhere between the keyboard and my chair.

Install a patch for the update of the new version.

If that doesn’t work, install the new version of the update for the patch.

If all else fails, install a patch for the new version of the update.

Sorry about the odor.

I have all my passwords tattooed between my toes.

Money isn’t everything but it keeps the kids in touch.

I am one step away from being rich.

All I need now is money.

More than money quotes

Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money,

but you cannot get more time.

Jim Rohn

awesome more than money quotes

If you want to feel rich just count the things you have that money can’t buy.

Wanna see how people really are?

Wait until the money is involved.

They say time is money but really, it’s not.

If we ever go broke, time is all we got.

J. Cole

We don’t make movies to make money,

we make money to make more movies.

Walt Disney

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Happiness is not measured in the amount of money you have.

It is the people in your life that create wonderful memories.

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.

Be careful how you let other people spend it for you.

 Carl Sandburg

A beautiful heart can bring things into your life that all the money in the world couldn’t obtain.

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Thomas Edison

Do today what others won’t so you can live tomorrow the way others can’t.

Dave Ramsey

The man is the richest whose pleasures are cheapest.

Henry David Thoreau

Trade money for time, not time for money.

You’re going to run out of time first.

Naval Ravikant

clever more than money quotes

Empty pockets never held anyone back.

Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.

 Norman Vincent Peale

Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness.

The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.

Benjamin Franklin

Read: More fun with our ultimately happy quotes to make your day

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.

Benjamin Franklin

Nothing is more expensive than a missed opportunity.

It is not the man who has too little,

but the man who craves more, that is poor.


I’m not impressed by money, social status, or job title.

I’m impressed by the way someone treats other human beings.

You can only become truly accomplished at something you love.

Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing,

and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you.

Maya Angelou

It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too

to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.

George Lorimer

Every day is a bank account, and time is our currency.

No one is rich, no one is poor, we’ve got 24 hours each.

Christopher Rice

Friendship is like money,

easier made than kept.

Samuel Butler

hilarious more than money quotes

Many people are in the dark when it comes to money,

and I’m going to turn on the lights.

Suze Orman

Not everything that can be counted counts,

and not everything that counts can be counted.

Albert Einstein 

Summary on Funny Money Quotes

Life is hard and it’s even more difficult if you keep on working to make ends meet.

Some have other problems on their sleeves too. Whatever hardships you’re facing right now, it’s our goal to make you laugh and happy with our jokes and list of quotes. So, the next time you’re feeling down, you know exactly where to go. You’ve had fun reading this funny money quotes, rest assured that you’d also get to laugh and forget your worries with our extensive list of jokes in varying topics.

We won’t leave you having with just one list of jokes, we have more for you so make sure to laugh your heart out with these jokes:

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