Are you a fan of Harry Potter? What is your favourite harry potter book? Harry Porter was no doubt one of the most amazing shows to hit the screen. and since its introduction, over two decades ago a lot has changed, but one thing we’ve always loved is the beloved characters of Hogwarts. While harry Porter has its scary moments in the series itself, we’ve also witnessed top quality Harry Potter jokes that will make you forget your fears.
In our society today there are dedicated Harry Porter fans and that shouldn’t be surprising. How wont you love that cute boy with his glasses? With all that power you would assume that the first thing he does is fix his sight and get that masculine body wouldn’t you? What a unique kid indeed!
Below are some interesting jokes that will leave any Harry potter fan rolling in tears of joy. Literally!
If you are a more fan of Yoda, you will love our Funny Star Wars Jokes.
We share with you:
Funny Harry Potter Jokes You Should Learn
Do you need to unlock some doors to jokes about Harry Potter? Whether you are an honorary Hogwarts resident or a muggleborn witch, we prepare an extraordinary spell to fulfill your needs. Keep the laughs going on while learning these carefully crafted jokes. Aberto!
How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash?
With quit-itch.
How many Slytherins does it take to stir a cauldron?
Just one. She puts her wand in and the cauldron revolves around her.
How many Harry Potters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. He holds it and the world revolves around him.
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted.
The fifth one was dead Sirius.
Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?
Because he has only followers, not friends.
What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?
Gifted.
If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, has he been Muggled?
I named my lizard Harry just so I can say, “You’re a lizard, Harry!”
What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?
A Volt-demort.
Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?
He has followers, not friends.
Why does Voldemort love Nagini?
Because she gives him hugs and hisses.
Why did Severus Snape stand in the middle of the road?
So you’d never know which side he was on.
Why did Lucius Malfoy cross the road twice?
He’s a double-crosser.
Why did the Dark Lord cross the road?
Because Potter couldn’t stop him.
How does Voldermont enter a room?
He slithers in.
How do Wizards change the light bulb?
One holds the bulb and the other rotates the room.
How does Harry Porter enter any door?
Through the Gryffin-door
Why did Harry Potter get pulled over for speeding?
Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol-man.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Walking. J/K, rolling.
Did you survive Avada Kedavra?
Because you’re drop-dead gorgeous.
“Harry, your godfather is dead.”
“Are you serious?!?”
“Yep. Dead Sirius.”
Funny Jokes Only A True Harry Potter Fan would Get
Want some more Harry Potter humor? These Harry jokes never gets old if you’re a certified wizard aficionados. Since it has defined a big part of your childhood, these will surely give you the laugh you miss casting on. Armed yourself for an explosion of laugh spells. We know you wouldn’t let this humor die yet.
Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
They were past their hexpiration date!
Voldermort is like a teen girl…
He keeps a diary, a tiara, a pet he loves, a special cup and he is obsessed with famous boys.
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Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road?
So you won’t know which side he’s on.
I think it’s funny how Voldermort always waits until the end of the school year to try and kill harry.
We must admit that despite his many flaws, Voldemort really cares about Harry’s education.
Wormtail: Master, can you really rise again?
Voldemort: Certainly, I will however need you to lend me a hand.
Where did you find Dumbledore’s army?
Up his sleeve
How do you know if someone is a pureblood?
They’ll tell you.
What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells?
Pregnant
Why did Berty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?
Because it was making him Moody
What’s the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with two friends
Why were the Weasleys afraid of the dementors?
Gingers don’t have souls.
How do the Malfoys get into bed?
They Slytherin!
What does Harry Potter have that Voldemort doesn’t?
A nose!
On a scale of one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you?
Nine and three quarters!
How do you get a mythical creature into your house?
Through the Gryffindor!
Why does Neville get his trousers specially made?
He has a Longbottom!
More Good Harry Potter Riddles, Jokes, and Puns
We intricately crafted more of your Harry Potter funny lines that will keep you smiling from time to time.
Where might you find Dumbledore’s Army?
Up his sleeve-y!
The barman says, “We don’t serve time-travelers here.”
Hermione walks into a pub with a Time-Turner.
Why did Harry Potter cross the road?
No reason. But we’re sure someone will still write fan-fiction about it.
Is your name Oliver Wood?
Because you’re definitely a keeper.
Two Hungarian Horntails walk into a pub.
The first one says, “Sure is hot in here.”
The second one snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”
What do you call a wizard with his hand in a thestral’s mouth?
A mechanic.
Which side of a centaur has more hair?
The Outside.
Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?
Because she gives him hugs and kisses.
What is Aragog’s favorite day of the week?
Flyday!
What is bigfoot’s favorite book?
Hairy Potter.
What do you call a Potterhead on a horse?
Harry Trotter.
What would you call a reality show where Sirius Black adopted the Weasley children?
Orange Is the New Black.
How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?
Weasley twins are 50 percent off.
What did Harry say to Hermione when she lent him a galleon?
“Thanks for the gold kind, Granger.”
Good Harry Potter Jokes for Kids
Make your kid’s day by learning some wizard’s jokes. Prepare to traverse to the world of witchcraft humor kiddo! Here are the best list that will tickle some charm on their tummies. Stupefy every known muggleborn kid. Grab your wand, Accio! Share some laughs by throwing these jokes on Harry Potter with your kids!
What was Hagrid’s favorite puzzle toy?
Rubeus Cube.
Read more: Bad Puns To Make Your Friends Cringe
What do you call a gardener that has a beard?
Hairy Potter.
Which Hogwarts professor gets blamed for everything?
Professor Snape Goat.
What do Warner Bros. do with their discontinued animated characters?
They put them in the looney bin.
How many Hufflepuffs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
All of them.
How did the winged, mythical creature get into Hogwarts?
Through the Gryffindor.
Why was Draco’s shirt covered with dirt?
He spent the day Slytherin.
Why did the quidditch player travel on a broom?
He didn’t have a vacuum cleaner.
Read more: Laugh more with our Hilarious Cleaning Jokes
How does Voldemort keep his breath fresh?
He eats de-mentos.
Why did Trevor cross the road?
To get away from Long Bottom.
A blind wizard walks into a bar, finds his way to a stool, and sits down.
He says rather loudly to the barkeep, “Hey, how would you like to hear a Hufflepuff joke?”
The bar goes silent and the barkeep replies,“Sir, I will not lie to you. You are speaking to a Hufflepuff. The man behind you is an Auror from Hufflepuff, the woman to your right is a Hufflepuff dueling champion, and we all have our wands drawn. Do you really want to continue?”
The blind wizard goes silent for a moment before curtly replying, “No I don’t. Not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”
Harry Potter Puns
Can’t get enough of Harry Potter? Aside from the magic and spells, the Harry Potter canon is extended to funny Hogwarts puns. Come, enter the Gryffin-door and lighten up the mood. We also have some Harry Potter potion puns in here. Don’t miss it!
What would you call The Boy Who Lived if he got a beard?
Hairy Potter.
Why is Mad Eye Moody such a bad professor?
Because he can’t control his pupils.
Why was Harry Potter in trouble at school?
Because he made fun of someone on Snape Chat.
Why does snape teach potions and not herbology?
He can’t keep a Lily alive.
Why did Harry Potter get detention?
Because he was cursing in class.
Why did Harry Potter get stopped for speeding?
Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol man.
How do Death Eaters freshen their breath?
With Dementos.
Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione?
He was looking in the Ron places.
How much does it cost to watch Harry play his favorite sport?
A quid each.
Harry Potter Knock Knock Jokes
Ever need some lines to slytherin to your conversation? Here are some Harry Potter knock knock jokes we specially curated for you. Ignite anyone’s mood by sharing these magical humor.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
He who must not be named.
He who must not be named who?
I can’t say who, that’s the whole point!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
*Hedwig flies away*
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
You know.
You know who?
Exactly! Avada kedavra!
Read more: Best Dad Jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dumbledore.
Dumbledore who?
This dumb o’l door won’t open, please let me in!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up it’s getting cold out here!
Harry Potter One-liners
When things become too Sirius, grab these handy one-liner punch of giggle potion. Every muggle should know these hilarious Harry Potter jokes we have compiled for you. This should be on the lips. Renneverate!
Why did Snape cross the road twice?
He’s a double crosser!
Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter and Instagram over Facebook?
He doesn’t have any friends, only followers!
Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his best friend and his potion pot?
They’re both cauldron!
On a scale of one to ten, how obsessed am I with Harry Potter?
9 and 3/4!
What language does the postman use when delivering to Hogwarts?
Parceltongue!
Funny Harry Potter Quotes
Mind to share some Potterhead humor? We got you! Check out these funny quotes that would define your fate as a muggleborn or a mudblood witch. Expand your Harry Potter canon on these funny quotes.
I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick.
Don’t put your wand there, boy!…
Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know.
Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher.
There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!
Read more: Jokes about Teachers and Students that work like Science
Wild! I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again… and again… and again…
Why, dear boy, we don’t send wizards to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts.
The idea of a teenage Dumbledore was simply odd,
like trying to imagine a stupid Hermione or a friendly Blast-Ended Skrewt.
Anyone can speak Troll.
All you have to do is point and grunt.
He can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.
Just then Neville caused a slight diversion by turning into a large canary.
Gotta bone ter pick with yeh.
I’ve heard you’ve bin givin’ out signed photos.
How come I haven’t got one?
Listening to the news! Again?
“Well, it changes every day, you see,” said Harry.
This is night, Diddykins.
That’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this.
Extra: Funny Harry Potter Name Puns
- Erised’s Desire
- Expecto-Winno
- Falmouth Falcons
- Abra Kadabra
- Amongst the Vampires
- Faster Than A Firebolt
- Fawkes’ Tales
- Gimbi Giant-Slayers
- Bludger Backbeats
- Borgin and Burkes
- Caerphilly Catapults
- Death Omens
- Deluminating Candles
- Dumbledamn
- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
- Goblets of Ire
- Gobstones Club
Still want more Jokes? Geminio!!!
This is your one-stop-shop of the Potterhead humor you just don’t want to die yet. The best compilation of clean Harry Potter jokes for kids and adults of all ages. Learn the trick and cast that magical spell. Lighten up someone’s mood every now and then.
For the wizard and sorceress that still do not have enough, the spell GEMINIO is a way to have two of everything you own. Basically, it doubles everything you put the spell on.
Therefore, GEMINIO:
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Ow you have all the right tools in your arsenal to leave any Harry Potter fan begging for more. These jokes wouldn’t just put you in the good graces of any Harry Porter fan, but also prove that you are a true fan yourself.
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