39 Car Jokes that will drive you crazy

39 Car Jokes that will drive you crazy

A real man does not jokes with his car. But since real man also do not use the internet, I take the chance and share with you the most hilarious jokes about cars and puns out there. You will find anything from To-Yoda, and Star Wars to Mercedes.

I added so many car puns that are super easy to remember. Some of them would make some funny car stickers too…think about it!

I also wrote up my favorite offensive jokes as well as seriously dirty adult jokes.

Funny Car Jokes and Hilarious Car Puns

A real man does not jokes with his car. But since real man also do not use the internet, I take the chance and share with you the most hilarious jokes about cars and puns out there. You will find anything from To-Yoda, and Star Wars to Mercedes.


Husband: “Honey, the neighbor is washing the car with his son again!”

Wife: “Poor kid! Go over there and tell him to use a sponge instead.”

Read: hilarious mom jokes no one else can compete with


With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it is also a matter of time before there is a country song there the guy’s trucks leaves him.


Two police officers crash the police car into a tree at the side of a road.

One of them says: “Let’s look at the bright side, that is got to be the fastest we have ever gotten to an accident site.”

Other: “Plus, they did not even call us. It was pure intuition!”


Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

Read: funny dad jokes about cars and more


My boss came to the office today with a new Porsche.

Me: “What an amazing car””

My boss: “Absolutely! If you work really hard, put lots of hours in and strive for excellence at all times, I should be able to get another one next year”.

Read more: hilarious boss jokes for the office


My girlfriend left a note at my brand new Porsche. It said “This is not working!”

I got nervous. I started the car and it is working fine.


What is the main difference between BMWs and Porcupines?

Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.


What do Michigan autoworkers do on Cinco de Mayo?

They have a Fort Fiesta.


I saw a car parked down the road with a bumper sticker. The sticker said “I miss New York City”

So I smashed his window in and stole his brand new radio.


Why don’t cars work after you change their wheels?

Because they are retired.


What was wrong with the wooden car?

It wooden go!


What kind of cars do cooks drive?

Chef-rolets.


What happened to the frog who parked on the double yellow lines?

Its car got toad!

Have more fun with the 101 animal jokes


Two Cadillac drivers got in a fender-bender, got out of their cars, and then started yelling at each other.

Almost immediately they were in a fistfight. I do not mean to be dramatic, but things Escaladed quickly.


I changed my car horn sound to gun shots. People move over now much faster.


What car does Hitler drive?

A fuhrerri.


What kind of cars do people in Norway drive?

Fjords

Laugh more: More super funny travel jokes and puns


What is the difference between a Fiat Punto and a golf ball?

You can drive a golf ball more than 200 yards.


What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson!

Laugh more: funny holiday jokes


Every car driver did this at least once in the lifetime:

When you can’t find a parking spot, so you turn down the volume to see better.


What do you call a black man that is hammered AF that is stumbling to his car from the bar?

An Uber so he can get home safely.


Super funny Dad Car Jokes: My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.


Why couldn’t the car play football?

It only had one boot!


One day a man was fixing a car. By accident he got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought: “Yummy, this tastes very good!”

So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him:

Friends: “This cannot be healthy.”

He: “Don’t worry. I can stop anytime.”


If I would own a DeLorean, I would probably only drive it from time to time.


Three Drunk men get in a taxi. The driver immediately noticed they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off.

The first man gave him the money, the second man thanked him but the third man slapped the driver.  The driver surprised that he noticed.

Driver: “Why?”

Third man: “Why did you drive so fast?!”


What happens when the frog’s car breaks down?

He jump starts it.


What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don’t look, I am about to change.


What kind of car does Yoda drive?

A Toyoda.

Laugh more: Super funny star wars jokes for all nerds and geeks


Who can drive all their customers away and still make money?

Taxi drivers.

Read: more funny riddles to test your wits


What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

Funny Car Salesman Jokes

 

Me:”Will this car fit 5 people?”

Salesman: “Of course, without any problems.”

Me: “Oh, that is unfortunate. My homies have lots of those.”


How to freak out a car sales man?

Just say to him: “Can you please tell me if you can hear me?”. Then climb in the trunk and start screaming.


That car salesman over there is a real car-deal-ologist.

It is been a long time since someone gave me such a stress test!

Did you enjoy these Jokes about Cars?

You will love these puns and jokes and more.

Have a laugh with:

  • funny dad jokes you cannot stop laughing about
  • super funny teen jokes
  • “and that is how the fight started” jokes

 

 

Jimmy
I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not! Here, have a carrot!