When you hear the word “fish”, what do you have in mind? Is it food or pet? How about puns and jokes? Well, it better be puns and jokes because we have compiled fish puns and jokes just for you! Share these with to kids and they will totally love it.
Spread the cheer and have a giggle with your family and friends with our Funny Jokes for Kids and Family!
Funny and Unique Fish Puns
We are telling you that these collection are not lame fish puns! Have a look at these funny fish puns and you’ll see what we are talking about. Share these fish jokes with your friends so you can laugh out loud together!
Let’s make this o-Fish-all!
Most fish will tell you they like their drinks cold, and their Bait a little Worm-er.
My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because his net income wasn’t enough.
Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to Mullet over?
Cod I borrow something from you?
If you keep pestering me I’m going to get a Haddock.
It doesn’t get any Betta than this.
It looks like we’re Piranha roll now!
Keep your friends close and your Anemones closer.
Dress like you’re going to sea your worst Anemone!
Let Minnow if you have any suggestions.
If you cross me I’ll make you feel my Wrasse!
There isn’t a consensus a-Monk the group.
You’ve met your Nemo-sis.
Salmon, call a doctor!
Some people don’t like fish puns, but these are Kraken me up!
Let’s get Kraken on this list of puns!
Sorry, my attempt at a joke was a pile of Carp.
Stop being so Koi about it.
Stop Carping on; you’re giving me a Haddock.
Stop spreading those Fish-ious rumors.
Thank Cod you’re here.
That scientist is Gill-iant!
Clam down; I’m a bit shell shocked.
We should Dolphin-itely scale back on the fish puns.
Ahh, you’re Krill-ing me!
All I sea are Bass-icaly Cod awful puns!
Any-fin is possible, just don’t Trout yourself!
Anyone else want to Plaice a Bait?
Will you rise to the Bait?
Are you trying to Gill-t me into thinking of a better pun?
Can you do any Betta than this?
Cod I borrow you for a few minutes?
Cod, that was eely, eely bad!
Cod you pass me the pepper?
Cod you pass me the salt?
Never trust unlicensed puns; always check to see if they’re o-Fish-all.
Oh, what a load of Carp!
Oh, you’re so so-Fish-ticated!
Salmon had to say it
What a load of Pollocks!
What is this aquarium website we’ve been Herring all about?
Who will be the Sole survivor?
You Betta believe it!
Better not, or you’ll feel my Wrasse!
You don’t have to be a brain Sturgeon to come up with fish puns.
Laugh more with our Bad Puns That Can Make Your Friends Cringe
You don’t have to be a brain Sturgeon to figure it out.
You should make him walk the Plankton for that!
You’re clearly a Dab hand at this.
You’re not quite up to scale.
That seems a bit fishy to me.
The way they handled that is a-Trout-cious.
They always Mussel in on what everyone else is doing.
They have very so-Fish-ticated tastes.
This is a big issue a-Monk fishermen.
This is going to get a-Trout-cious really quick!
This is neither the time nor the Plaice to deal with this.
Did he win, Plaice or show in the swimming contest?
This is the first time I’m Herring about the issue.
We Whaley need to stop now!
We Whaley need to turn this car around.
We’re just hoping to avoid Turtle disaster at this point.
We’re swimming along nicely.
I think you’re just Fin-tastic!
Stuck between a rock and a hard Plaice!
Well, Salmon had to say it!
Funny Fish Jokes
Still looking for more funny fish jokes? You’ve come to the right place. Keep scrolling for more jokes that would make you laugh so hard. You betta start reading because we are not squidding.
What’s the best way for a fish to get to Canada?
Follow the “northern pike.”
When you need a handyman, which fish do you call?
The mantis shrimp because he has his own hammer and he’s always happy to use it.
Where can you find the down-and-out calamari?
On squid row.
What’s the one fish that 40 percent of all Americans are afraid of?
What country can every fish trace their roots back to?
If Marcia Brady were a fish, what would her most famous line be?
What’s the clownfish’s biggest fear?
That he’s not really all that finny.
Why isn’t the bachelor fish married?
Because he has fin-timacy issues.
What did the freshwater eel say to the salmon?
I don’t sea your point.
Why did one fish slap the other?
To snapper out of it.
Which fish has the worst haircut?
Why do most people dislike anchovies?
Because they’re a little fishy.
How many tuna does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don’t. They call an electric eel.
Where do you put an argumentative fighting fish?
It’s in de-beta-bowl.
What does the salmon always say at closing time?
Time to lox up.
What’s the only right answer when a salmon asks you for a light?
I didn’t know you smoked, salmon.
Why did the two fish have to “take it outside”?
They were about to have a roe.
How does a fish know when the party’s over?
Well, it’s obvious when it’s fin-ished.
Why did the fisherman stop playing violin?
Because he was all out of tuna.
Ever thought of having a freshwater aquarium? Aquariums provide a fun activity not only for kids but for the whole family. It can also teach your kids how to be responsible. These puns will make you realize how fun it is!
For more laughs, check our What Do You Call Jokes for Kids.
What is keeping a bunch of fish in an aquarium called?
I wanted to go to the local aquarium to see the new dolphin show, but when I got there I couldn’t get in.
It was closed for training porpoises.
Why don’t they use loud music in aquariums?
Because the fishes might get a herring problem.
I went into a pet shop and asked if I could buy a goldfish, the bloke asked if I wanted an aquarium.
I said I don’t care what star sign it is.
My brother broke his arm at the aquarium.
We had to fetch a sturgeon.
My goldfish looked really skinny, so I added some steroids to the aquarium water.
Now things are Hunky Dory.
What do you call it when a lorry of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
I was walking around this aquarium the other day. When I heard these 2 fish singing….
I think it was Pike and Tina Tuna.
One day a guy went to an aquarium , but they had only one animal.
It was a crab.
I just got promoted to general manager at the aquarium!
I’m going to have a corner offish and everything!
Why did the Nuclear Reactor have an aquarium next door?
To put all its nuclear fission.
Why does keeping a fish aquarium calm the brain?
All the indoor fins.
Get an aquarium for your house.
It helps stimulate positive thinking in your brain because of all the indoor fins.
My friend told me they just got a new fish tank.
They hadn’t gotten many fish yet, so it was still in the betta fish stage.
Funny Fishing Jokes and Fishing Puns
Do you love fishing? Fishing is a great hobby and a good way to unwind. It is one of the healthiest hobbies out there for you and your family. So while waiting for the fish on your hook, here are the jokes on fishing that you can share.
What do you call the fish that won’t keep his mouth shut up?
A big-mouthed bass!
Why is it super easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales!
Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant?
Two fish got battered!
Where does a fisherman go to get his haircut?
The bobber shop.
Why did Noah not do much fishing on the ark?
He had only two worms.
Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son? I’m not fishing, sir.
I’m teaching these worms how to swim!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What did the fisherman tell the card magician?
Take a cod, any cod.
What is the world’s richest fish?
Why can’t you tell a joke when ice fishing?
Because it’ll crack you up!
Where do fish sleep?
In a river bed.
What do you name a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing?
Laugh more with Silly Funny Star Wars Jokes.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away?
Why is fishing such a good business?
The net profits.
Why don’t fish play soccer?
They’re afraid of the net.
Laugh more: Funny Soccer Puns
What do you called a mentally challenged freshwater fish that has never met it’s father?
What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you cant tuna fish.
Why do fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Why did the fish blush?
He saw the oceans bottom.
Having a good seafood cuisine is good for your soul as well as good seafood jokes. Let’s feed you with these funny jokes.
My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because he couldn’t scale up his net income.
Have you thought of the solution yet or do you need some time to Mullet over?
You got Schooled by him!
Holy Carp! We’re only halfway through the week!
Holy Shrimp! This Scampi happening, can it?
Hoping to avoid Turtle disaster.
I can feel that in my Sole.
I really believe that to the bottom of my Sole.
I see you’ve met my Nemo-sis.
I think you’re Fin-tastic!
I Trout you, Buoys and Gills would Mako it on Comedy Central!
I’ll love you for a Krill-ion years.
I’d never be Cod in that old-school get-up.
I wouldn’t be Cod dead wearing that!
I’ll Bait that fish can’t swim on for much longer!
I’ll Bait these puns can’t go on for much longer.
I’m hooked on these puns!
I’m stuck between a rock and a hard Plaice now!
I’m waiting for someone else to Mussel in on this game.
I’ve Haddock with these shenanigans!
Create your own fish puns; don’t leave it to salmon else!
Dear Cod, I laughed so hard!
DJ’s aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they’re always dropping the Bass rhythm.
Vocalists aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they may sing off scale.
Don’t listen to them; I think you’re Fin-tastic!
Don’t try to Gill-t trip me; I know exactly what you’re doing!
Fish better have my money!
Bonus: Fish Puns Names
- Salmon & Gillfunkel
- Reef Witherspoon
- Fish Pratt
- Marlin Monroe
- Betta Middler
- Fishtian Bale
- Nat King Cod
- Betta White
- Fish Hemsworth
- Halibut Berry
- Meryl Stream
- Katniss Everfin
- Gill Clinton
- Swim Shady
- Anchovy Hopfins
- Tank Sinatra
- Ti-Fin-Ney Haddock
- Tuna Turner
- Guppy Goldberg
- Marlin Brando
- Fin Diesel
- Bruce Gillis
- Gillie Eilish
- Leo DeCarpio
- Matthew McCodughhey
- Melissa McCarpy
- James Pond
- Lebron Waves
- Gill Smith
- Cod Stewart
- Goldie Hawn
- Johnny Depth
Summary: Funny Fish Puns and Jokes
Had enough giggles and laughter? Hope you found the best jokes about fishing. We are sure you had a good laugh. We hope you did because we have more.
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