75 FANTASTIC Baby Jokes That Are Undeniably Cute! 2024

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Babies are cute and funny when they do their things like rolling on the bed, crawling everywhere, eating their mashed vegetables messily, and a lot more! We know that sometimes it can be so exhausting. So, we gathered jokes about these cute little sweeties. These jokes about babies will impress your family and friends. Share these with everyone to make the atmosphere full of happiness and laughter. These jokes are funny and perfect for you!

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For more laughs, read our funny jokes for kids that will bring so much laughter!

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Funny Baby Jokes for Kids

Babies are the cutest but they can also be extremely tiring. Take a look at these humorous jokes that will make you fall in love with these adorable babies all over again! Indulge in some baby humor.

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What did Baby Corn say to Mother Corn?
Where’s Pop Corn?

What do you call a baby potato?
A small fry.

How do you get a paper baby?
Marry an old bag.

What do you call a group of baby soldiers?
An infantry.

What’s a group of chubby newborns called?
Heavy infantry.

Parenting is mastering the art of a one-minute-poop and a half-a-minute shower!
Yes, and even the art of forgetting when you showered last!

What do you call a cow that had a baby?
De-calf-inated.

Mr. and Mrs. Turner had a baby girl.
They named her Paige, and they just couldn’t put her down.

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What do you call a group of baby garbage bins?
A litter.

Never trust a baby with a dirty diaper.
They’re full of shit.

When a baby is learning to eat, shouldn’t he have an L-plate?

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Mrs. Goat: “Honey, we’re going to have a baby!”
Mr. Goat: “You’re kidding.”

Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne.

Why does a mother carry her baby?
The baby can’t carry the mother.

A baby’s laugh is one of the most beautiful things you will ever hear…
Unless it is 3 a.m., you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.

What are baby witches called?
Halloweenies.

A friend asked me if she should have a baby after 40.
I said no, 40 babies are enough.

Jake: “My mom is having a new baby”
Joy: “What’s wrong with the old one?”

Mom: “Why is there a strange baby in the crib?”
Dad: “You told me to change the baby”

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Baby Jokes One Liners and Baby Puns

Parenting is full of wonders and surprises! There are also a lot of new things that you will discover as your baby grows. Love every moment of it and laugh at our hilarious cute baby jokes for you.

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The best remedy for a baby pig suffering from a diaper rash is an oinkment.

A newborn baby is usually born at womb temperature.

A newborn monkey is called a chimp off the old block.

Newborns given birth on holidays are usually females because there are no mail deliveries on holidays.

A baby born in a high-tech hospital usually comes out cordless.

A group of baby garbage bins is called a litter.

Babies usually know it is time to be born when they run out of womb.

A baby goat should always be treated like a kid.

When Olaf the snowman had a baby, he put a snowmobile on his baby’s crib.

Funny Jokes About Having A Baby

Do you have a bouncing baby boy or girl? These birth jokes are quite interesting and you might even forget your labor pain for a little while as you scroll down to these baby funny jokes. Giggle and laugh all you want!

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Why did the run-on sentence take a pregnancy test?
Its period came too late.

You don’t have to study for a pregnancy test, but I’ve heard there’s a lot of cramming that goes on before the exam.

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What would be different if men were the ones who got pregnant?
Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay, and morning sickness would rank as the nation’s number one health problem.

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen knocked up?
He forgot to wrap his whopper!

What part of biology class do pregnant women fear?
The sea section.

What do a pregnant woman and a burned cake have in common?
You should’ve taken it out earlier.

I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
With any luck, right after he finishes college..

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Woman: “Should I have a baby after 35?”
OB/GYN: “No, 35 children is enough.”

What do you give a new mom, so she’s ready for anything?
A diaper bag of tricks.

The stork is the bird that helps deliver babies. What bird helps prevent pregnancy?
The swallow.

I used to work on an assembly line making pregnancy pamphlets, but I quit.
I got tired of labor manuals.

Teacher: “Give me a sentence about a public servant.”
Student: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.”
Teacher: “Do you know what pregnant means?”
Student: “Yes, it means you’re carrying a child.”

What should a joke have in common with a pregnancy?
A good delivery.

What do you call it when you’re unable to find someone to help you through your pregnancy?
A midwife crisis.

What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require chickpea.

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
When the kids are in college.

Did you know that your chances of becoming pregnant are hereditary?
The chances are that if your parents didn’t get pregnant, you won’t either.

Fat Baby Jokes

Baby cuddles are the best especially if they are so soft and cuddly! Our fat baby jokes will turn your not-so-good day into a spectacular one. Join us as we laugh hard at these amusing jokes.

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If someone calls you Fat, just ignore them.
You are bigger than that!

What do you call a fat baby?
Heavy infantry.

Why did the infant go on a diet?
She wanted to lose her baby fat

How did the baby almost get her and her mom kicked out of the crowded theater?
She yelled “pacifire”

Where can babies post status updates about how they‘re feeling?
Babyfacebook.

What candy bar do most infants prefer?
Baby Ruth.

What did the baby say to the lady holding her upon being born?
Postpardon me, but are you my mom?

Newborn Jokes

Having a newborn is the hardest! Babies have the tendency to cry so much and you could almost cry too. So before that happens, take a deep breath and have some giggle as you read what we have compiled for you. You won’t regret it.

The nurse hands a man his newborn and says “I’m sorry, but your wife didn’t make it.”
He responds “well give me the one my wife made.”

What did Harry say when the queen asked how black the newborn was?
Just a lilibet

What did Mother Goose name her newborn son?
Ryan Gosling

What did the roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.

I would make a joke about newborns.
But the delivery would be too painful.

Circumcision is a painful procedure to inflict on a newborn.
After I was circumcised I couldn’t walk for a year.

What do a newborn baby and a victim of organ theft have in common?
They’ve both been delivered.

What did the papa tomato say to the baby tomato?
Hurry and ketchup!

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Did you hear what the couple who met while working at an instruction book company named their baby?
Manuel

My newborn son made such a fuss when the doctor cut his umbilical cord.
It seems he had really grown attached to it.

I tried rocking my newborn daughter to sleep.
Apparently, she isn’t a big Zeppelin fan.

What’s a newborn’s favorite A/C setting?
Womb temperature.

What do you call a newborn baby?
Anything you want.

Shooting newborns in the maternity ward is just low.
Spawnkillers are absolute scum.

What’s a group of chubby newborns called?
Heavy infantry.

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
To day-scare.

What do you call a newborn sandwich?
A crossbread.

Funny Baby Jokes Video

Who doesn’t love some funny videos, including babies? Here are 100 harmless, cute and funny videos with and about babies.

Funny Jokes for Baby Shower

Are you excited to be a mom? Baby showers are a lovely celebration you wouldn’t want to miss! So before you start doing some diaper changes and feedings, we hope you enjoy these fantastic baby jokes for baby shower.

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Godmother: “Settle down for a second. I have a few words to say.”
Crowd: *Goes Silent*
Godmother: “Let’s raise a toast to the bun in your oven!”

Daughter: “Dad, will you be coming to the baby shower?”
Dad: “I’d prefer a full-size shower.”

Do I have to have a baby shower?
Not if you change the baby’s diaper quickly.

Child: “How long does this baby shower take?”
Dad: “Well, it depends on the size of the baby.”

What do pregnant women think about in the shower?
Baby Shower thoughts.

Do I have to have a baby shower?
Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Summary

Did you have fun with our jokes about baby? From adults to babies, these clean baby jokes never fail to make everyone happy. Seeing your friends and family laugh is more than enough to make our day. We know that parenting is never easy and it takes all of your power to raise a good child but it is not a reason to stop having some fun. Have a day off, arrange a play date and just laugh with your family.

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