hilarious police jokes

50 Hilarious Police Jokes That Will Arrest Your Heart From Laughing

The police force is a fundamental piece of our lives in present-day culture.

Entrusted with keeping up with peace and lawfulness in states and urban areas, the police are considered to be present-day superheroes. Be that as it may, we can in any case appreciate police jokes to a great extent!

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Be that as it may, you should likewise be mindful so as not to go too far while making a wisecrack about police powers since they put their lives at risk for us, and we ought to be aware of them. However, that shouldn’t prevent us from taking part in this rundown containing some typical, police humor that will undoubtedly make you snicker.

Hilarious Police Jokes

Hoping to make a police wisecrack that will make everybody snicker? Indeed, here are the absolute best regulation implementation jokes that one can undoubtedly change into short cop jokes and the best cop jokes.

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A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states.
Solid, liquid, and gas.


There’s a man in the town who’s stealing the wheels of police cars.
The police are working tirelessly to catch him.


What is riot police in Germany called?
Sour kraut control.

What is riot police in Germany called Sour kraut control.


Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected fowl play.


Police are usually shocked that I have a record.
But I love their greatest hits!


Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world?
Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand!

Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand!


Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood?
One was assaulted.


What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison?
A medium at large.


Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend?
He stole her heart.


What are the four food groups for cops?
Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted.

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What are the four food groups for cops Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted.


A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didn’t give her a warning first.


What happens when a police officer goes to bed?
He becomes an undercover cop.


What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot?
A cellfie.


Why did they arrest the cap?
It was covering for the marker.

Why did they arrest the cap It was covering for the marker.


What does a frog use to keep away burglars?
A lily padlock.


Officer-Cop-Driver Police Jokes

This rundown is all that you will expect to make a police officer wisecrack that is awful to such an extent that it will make everybody giggle. All things considered, you have the green sign to go through these cop jokes, so the thing would you say you are sitting tight for?

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Cop: “When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.”
Driver: “You’re wrong, officer. It’s only my hat that makes me look that old.”


Officer: “Why did you park here?”
Me: “The sign says, ‘Fine for parking.’”


What do you call a female police officer playing guitar?
She-riff.


Cop: “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?”
Driver: “Isn’t it your job to tell me?”

Cop “Do you have any idea how fast you were going” Driver “Isn’t it your job to tell me”


Officer: “I notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”
Driver: “I noticed your eyes are glazed over. Have you been eating donuts?”


Why did the police officer smell so bad?
He was on duty.


Officer: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Me: “You were bored and wanted some company?”


Judge: “I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again.”
Criminal: “That’s what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldn’t listen.”


Man: “Can I park here?”
Cop: “No.”
Man: “What about all these other cars?”
Cop: “They didn’t ask!”

Man “Can I park here” Cop “No.” Man “What about all these other cars” Cop “They didn’t ask!”


Cop: “Where do you think you’re going?”
Driver: “Donut shop, officer.”
Cop: “At 80 miles per hour?”
Driver: “I wanted to make sure I beat you there, so there would still be donuts to buy.”


An officer stops a man for speeding and notices he’s not wearing his required prescription glasses.
Officer: “I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses.”
Driver: “Officer, I have contacts.”
Officer: “I don’t care who you know, you’re still getting a ticket.”


Officer: “Do you know how fast you were going?”
Driver: “Sorry, I was just trying to catch up with traffic.”
Officer: “There is no traffic. This highway is completely empty.”
Driver: “That’s what I’m telling you — I’m really far behind.”


Why did the officer give the ghost a ticket?
It didn’t have a haunting license.

Why did the officer give the ghost a ticket It didn’t have a haunting license.


I got stopped last night by a police officer.
Cop: “I’m going to follow you to the nearest police station.”
Me: “What for?”
Cop: “I’ve forgotten the way.” — Tommy Cooper


Tourist: “Are you a policeman?”
Officer: “No, I am an undercover detective.”
Tourist: “So, why are you in uniform?”
Officer: “Today is my day off.”


Officer: “How high are you?”
Driver: “No, officer, it’s ‘Hi, how are you?’”


An officer observes a woman standing in the middle of the street.
He approaches her and asks, “Are you OK?” The woman replies, “Yes, but how do I get to the hospital?” The officer says, “Just keep standing there.”


An officer comes across a man who is clearly under the influence.
He says to the man, “We’re going to have to give you a drug test.” Without hesitation, the man replies, “Cool, which drugs are we testing?”


The officer says, “Ma’am, there are warnings posted up and down this highway.
They say, ‘Speed Limit 65.’”

The officer says, “Ma’am, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. They say, ‘Speed Limit 65.'”


When caught speeding, an airman on leave tried to talk an officer out of giving him a ticket.
He asked, “Would it make a difference if I told you I’m in the Air Force?” The police officer replied, “Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.”


Funny Police Jokes

Cops manage difficult circumstances daily, yet that doesn’t mean they don’t see the value in a decent joke. What’s more, who can say for sure? The right one might even get you out of a speeding ticket. So assuming that you’re searching for motivation, you’ve hit the jackpot. Take alert, however, these children are tough as nails.

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An officer sees a man exit a bar at closing time and gets into his car. After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over.
The officer asks the driver, “Where are you going at this time of night?” The man replies, “I’m on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body and smoking and staying out late.” The officer asks, “Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night?” The man says, “My wife.”


Why did the coffee call 911?
It was mugged.


Why couldn’t police notify the family of the murdered baker?
He was a John Dough.

Why couldn’t police notify the family of the murdered baker He was a John Dough.


A police officer pulled me over and said, “Papers.”
I said, “Scissors. I win!” and drove off. I guess he wants a rematch because he’s been following me for about 45 minutes.


Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny?
He was charged with battery.


Why are policemen such great volleyball players?
They know how to serve and protect.

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On what show do police officers solve crimes committed by garden gnomes?
Lawn & Order.


Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game?
They heard someone was stealing bases.

Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game They heard someone was stealing bases.


I asked a rookie what he would do if he had to arrest his mother.
He said, “I’d call for backup!”


Why did the thief wear blue gloves?
He didn’t want to be caught red-handed.


Did you hear about the criminal who stole a lamp?
He got a very light sentence.


Knock-Knock Police Jokes

The following are a couple of thump jokes impeccably appropriate for police humor. What’s more, in the event that you don’t think that they are interesting, no one can tell when the jokes police could turn up at your front way to capture you.

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Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police. Open up!

Knock, knock. Who’s there Dishes. Dishes who Dishes the police. Open up!


Knock, knock!
Who is there?
It is us.
Us who?
FB…
Facebook?
FBI, Open up!


Knock, knock!
Who is there?
It is me.
Me who?
The cop crocodile!
Oh, so you are the investi-gator!

Knock, knock Who is there It is me. Me who The cop crocodile! Oh, so you are the investi-gator!


Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Police.
Police who?
Please hurry up and open the door!


Summary

Police humor might incorporate a wide range of jokes. They can comprise cop plays on words, investigator jokes, sheriff jokes, state officer jokes, and numerous others. Regulation requirement humor on the web is also infamous for some of the most terrible cop jokes. In the event that you make the police a cop wisecrack from a portion of the most terrible jokes, they could really capture you!

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Julia
I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh.