Handling a hardbound or paperback book looks pre-technological in a world where youngsters learn via audiobooks and Kindles. Libraries give relief from backlight exposure to the eyes and are a little corner of rustic and antique awe in a world of technological growth.
Libraries look like a miracle of the world nowadays. People with an ancient spirit who like the feel of age-old yellowed pages and the literary scent of books frequently visit libraries. We all know how rigorous libraries and their librarians can be when it comes to preserving the silence and purity of this excellent and nearly sacred institution. In fact, that’s what brings most people to the library, not just the books. For a little peace and quiet and time to oneself. If you’re a stern bibliophile, you may go to the library and ask for the finest edition and the best seat to enjoy an excellent book.
But, you can always laugh heartily by cracking jokes about the library while you are outside of it (although, if you routinely ask for a book from the librarian and have formed a connection, you may make a joke or two inside!). Libraries are hubs of information, and comedy is a vital element of them. People who enjoy the library, librarians, or library clubs may exchange a joke or two about libraries, librarians, and books and have a humorous, fascinating, and enthusiastic talk about it. While we all need peace and serenity, it’s equally important to laugh out loud. It’s healthy for the heart and spirit. If you’re seeking library jokes, check out this list. You may get most of these jokes, and if you don’t, there are enough to share with your library mates. You may become the punny one in your circle of friends or at your favorite library.
If you enjoy our amusing stuff, try out Jokes about Studying.
We share with you:
Funny Library Jokes
Searching for the funniest jokes about libraries and library humor? This collection features some humorous library jokes, riddles, and one-liners you’ll adore. Yes, there’s stuff regarding books. Even if the librarian asks to be quiet, you may snigger.
Laugh more here: Jokes about Studying – School, College, University
What is the full form of IBS for bookworms?
Impulsive Book-reading Syndrome
Why did dinosaurs go extinct?
Because they did not read
Laugh more: Funny Dino Jokes
What are you supposed to do if your pet starts to eat your book?
Take words out of his mouth right away.
What did the reader feel like after reading the book about the singularity?
It really sucked her in.
Why did the book of incantations fail to work?
They forgot to run a spell check on it.
What do readers have to say about the new book about teleportation?
It sure will get you somewhere.
What did the librarian think of the book about Mount Everest?
It was such a cliff-hanger.
What did the librarian say to the guy who said he disliked ‘Lord Of The Rings?’
“Do you even know what you are Tolkien about?”
Why is Walden considered to be a great book?
Because of the Thoreau editing.
Where in the library can books about alternative facts be found?
In the Fiction Section.
Why does nobody ever invite John Milton to game nights?
Because whenever he comes, there is a pair of dice lost.
Why do ghosts always require more and more books?
They go through the ones they have too quickly.
Why did the elephant use her trunk to bookmark her books?
So that she nose where she stopped last.
What did the library book say after her friend noticed she got thinner?
“I got my appendix removed.”
Which book in the library wants everyone to leave alone?
A withdrawn book.
How did the reader feel after reading a book about colors?
It blue him away.
What did the reader say to his beloved library book?
“May I take you out?”
Where do libraries keep books about the sasquatch?
In the large-print section.
Where do libraries keep their books about various conspiracies?
Right behind you.
Where are the books on reincarnation kept in a library?
At the Returns Counter.
What do poetry books say to their readers in the library?
Iamb yours.
How do books about colors introduce themselves to the reader?
Yellow! Orange you happy that I will make you well red?
Why are libraries considered to be the highest buildings by everyone?
They have too many stories.
Why do most heart surgeons tell their patients to visit the library?
Because they are good for circulation.
Why does Dracula frequent the library?
He likes to sink his teeth into good books.
Why is it hard to get reservations to visit the largest library in the world?
It is overbooked always.
Why do ghosts frequently visit the library?
They go through the books very quickly
How do the books stay warm in the libraries?
They wear book jackets.
How do they always keep a library project top secret?
Keep it all very hush-hush.
Why can nobody find books on magic in a library?
Because they disappear.
Library Puns
Puns in books aren’t only for laughs or eye rolls. They are perfect for libraries, instructors, and book enthusiasts who wish to promote books and reading. Readers love book puns on t-shirts, tote bags, and mugs.
Plus, the puns are entertaining. I’m a word geek, and playing with language makes me enjoy using them more.
Walden is such a good book because of Thoreau’s editing.
Laugh more here: Funny Philosophy Jokes
Readers never have any extra time because they’re booked.
The guy bought so many books, they fell on him and crushed him.
He can only blame his shelf.
The top-secret library project is all very hush-hush.
I couldn’t get a reservation, they’re fully booked.
A book fell on my head; I can only blame my shelf.
I only found out about the library at the end of the street, they’ve been very quiet about it.
Dewey belong together?
ISBN thinking of you.
Tequila Mockingbird.
You may take your beverages into the library, but please don’t pour milk on our serials.
You’ve never read Fitzgerald before?
You’ve Gatsby kidding me!
Alternative Facts can be found in our Fiction Section.
Are you borrowing all these books?
Don’t overdue it!
Don’t invite John Milton to our game night; whenever he comes, there’s a pair of dice lost.
The retired librarian is ready to start a new chapter in his life.
Return this book late, and I will Dewey decimate you!
The book of incantations didn’t work.
The writer had not run a spell check.
Have you read the book on teleportation?
It’s sure to get you somewhere.
I’m returning this overdue book on speed-reading.
Where are the books on reincarnation?
They’re at the “Returns” Counter.
Yellow there! Orange you glad there are so many books to be red?
This book about Mount Everest is a real cliff-hanger.
The guy who didn’t like Lord of the Rings didn’t know what he was Tolkien about.
This book about anti-gravity is just impossible to put down.
The books on magic have disappeared.
Library Jokes for Students
Want some fun jokes about librarians, books, and libraries? List of book jokes.
Laugh more here: EPIC Classroom Chemistry Joke
Why are libraries the tallest buildings in the world?
Because they have so many stories!
Why did the cardiologist recommend that his patients go to the library?
He heard they’re good for circulation.
Why did Dracula go to the library?
He wanted to sink his teeth into a good book.
Why can’t you go to the world’s biggest library?
It’s always overbooked.
How do libraries make sure novels stay warm?
They give them book jackets.
Why did the ghost keep coming back to the library?
He went through his books too quickly.
Where does the library keep books about Big Foot?
The large-print section.
Library Jokes for Kids
Here are some amusing, ridiculous, and corny library jokes for kids, teenagers, and adults who refuse to grow up. This humorous collection of library jokes, riddles, and puns is safe for all ages. Kids will love these library jokes. LoL!
Laugh more here: Funny Words (and Things) To Say
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
Why does an elephant use her trunk as a bookmark?
Then she NOSE where she stopped reading!
Why was the dinosaur afraid to go to the library?
His books were 65 million years overdue.
What building has the most stories?
The library!
What does a book do in the winter?
Puts on a book jacket!
Why didn’t the burglar break into the library?
He was afraid he’d get a long sentence!
Why did the ghost come back to the library every day?
She went through her books too quickly!
What did the snake say to the noisy children at the library?
Ssssss.
What does the Mummy do when he goes to the library?
He gets up in a good book!
What section of the library can you get biten by a snake?
Hissssssstory.
Why did people stop going to the library?
Because they heard it was all booked!
Why did the fish go to the library?
To find some bookworms!
Library Jokes One Liners
It appears that jokes about libraries and librarians are all the rage, so it seemed like a nice theme for this week’s one-liners and puns, so here are some library jokes. If they were in a library, it’s doubtful that the Dewey Decimal system would place them under “original” or “hilarious.”
I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out.
Laugh more here: Funny Teenage One-Liner Jokes
A librarian walks into a bar, the bartender says “Please NO Stories.”
If the pen is mightier than the sword, then why do actions speak louder than words.
Yo mommas legs are like the library, always open to the public.
A book just fell on my head and I only got my shelf to blame.
I got hit in the head by a falling book once, I mean, I only have myshelf to blame.
I read a book last night on anti gravity it was really hard to put down.
Are you a book because im totally checking you out.
Did you know that Kevin McCallister is at Home Alone reading.
The librarian gave the scientist a book about Helium and he just couldn’t put it down.
You must work in a library because you just increased my circulation!
Hey baby are you over due?
Cause you lookin Finnnneeee.
Are you my favorite book, cause when I think about you I touch my shelf.
I’d tell you about how I lost the book “War and Peace”, but it’s a long story.
Librarian Jokes and Quotes
Oh, it seems that jokes about libraries and librarians are all the rage this week, so here are some library jokes and quotes for you!
Read more here: Motivational Quotes to Study Harder
What did the librarian feel about the book about anti-gravity?
It was hard to put it down.
What did the kid who loves reading horror books ask the librarian?
“Do you have any books written by ghostwriters?”
Did you hear about the award-winning librarian?
Apparently, he had a storied career.
What did the librarian tell the person who checked out 100 books?
Don’t overdue it.
What vegetables do librarians like?
Quiet peas!
What advice do you get from a librarian?
Believe in your shelf.
What do you call a sunburned librarian?
Well red.
Why did the librarian fail to finish reading mystery books?
He read between the lines.
What is one life advice you can expect from a librarian?
You need to believe in your shelf.
What did the librarian say to the woman who issued too many books?
Try not to overdue it.
Why did the librarian fall down?
He was in the non-friction section.
What book did the librarian take out for her cat?
The Prince and the Paw-purr.
What happens when someone visits the library and asks the librarian for a book on cliffhangers?
She says…
What did the librarian say to the girl who returned her book late?
You have fine written all over you.
How do librarians show affection to the love of their lives?
They say ISBN thinking about you all day.
What do librarians do after they retire?
They get ready for a new chapter in their life.
Why did the young man visit the librarian often?
To get into her good books.
Why did the librarian get fired?
He was always checked out.
Where does a librarian sleep?
Between the covers!
Why doesn’t the librarian drive?
He books flights.
Where was the librarian when the lights went out?
In the dark!
What do librarians take fishing?
Bookworms!
What does the librarian say when she has to leave?
Time to book!
Do you know how many librarians it takes to screw in a lightbulb?
No, but I know where you can look it up!
What did the librarian say to the astronaut?
Find space for a book.
One day the Library was lonely with no one in it for the librarian to help.
These two chickens came through the door screeching “bouk bouk.”
The librarian quickly got up and gave them each 5 books.
The two chickens left satisfied. Just a few minutes later the same two chickens come through the door with no books screeching “bouk bouk.”
The librarian once again jumps up and gives each chicken 15 books this time.
The chickens leave satisfied once again. Then again for the third time the chicken return screeching “bouk bouk”
But this rime being suspicious the librarian gives each chicken only one book because they still have not returned the other books.
As the chickens leave the librarian slowly follows behind to see where all the books are going.
The chickens come to a stop and start throwing the books into a pond where some frogs grab the books and throw them behind their back croaking “red-it red-it”
For every successful man there is a stolen book behind.
—Anonymous, Indian Proverb
To read a book for the first time is to get an a new girl friend in a chat room; to read it for a second time is to chat with a boring boy. .
—Anonymous, Chinese saying
Book lovers never go to bed alone.
-Unknown
Francis BACON (1561-1626) says
Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested.
It often requires more courage to read some books than it does to fight a battle.
–Sutton Elbert GRIGGS (1872-1930) .
There’s nothing to match curling up with a good book when there’s a repair job to be done around the house.
—Joe RYAN
He who lends a book is an idiot. He who returns the book is more of an idiot.
– Anonymous, Arabic Proverb
A book may be compared to your neighbor; if it be good, it cannot last too long; if bad, you cannot get rid of it too early.
-Henry Brooke
There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up and the kind you make up.
–Rex Stout
Seventy million books in America’s libraries, but the one you want to read is always out.
–Tom Masson
Knowledge is free at the library. Just bring your own container.
–Unknown
Book what they make a movie out of for television.
–Leonard Louis Levinson
On how many people’s libraries, as on bottles from the drugstore, one might write: “For external use only.”
–Unknown
“One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.”
-Rodney Dangerfield
Book never written. How to blow your nose
-Hank R. Chief.
Funny Book Jokes
Even avid readers need a chuckle now and again. Book humor is a fun way to appreciate literature.
We appreciate books for numerous reasons, including their amazing classic jokes. Here are some funny books, reading, and literary jokes.
Laugh more here: School Jokes
I ordered a book called “How to scam people”
It’s been 6 months and I still haven’t received it.
I wrote a book on how to fall down the stairs.
It’s a step-by-step guide.
I found the first four books of the Harry Potter series to be quite lighthearted.
But the fifth one—-dead Sirius.
I’ve just finished writing a book on snakes.
It would have been much easier if I’d just written in on paper
Laugh more here: Hilarious Paper Jokes
Why is the book so thick?
Long story
What do you call a book club that’s been stuck on one book for years?
Church
I just read a book that compares the different versions of The Bible.
There was a lot of…cross referencing.
I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.
It started off badly but by the end I really liked it.
You ordered the book “How to scam people” online. After how many days it will arrive to your location?
Never
I just finished writing my book on penguins.
My publisher said it would’ve been better if I’d written it on paper.
I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life.
I’ll call it my oughtabiography.
A good book is like a good puppy
A good book is like a good puppy, easy to pick up but hard to put down
I bought a book on “How to Stop Procrastinating”.
I’ll read it later.
The author of the book ” How to murder your husband” is on trial for murdering her husband
I’m now writing a book ” how to be a billionaire”
Why was the band named “Books”
So no one would judge them by their covers
A woman goes to the library and whispers to the librarian, “Where can I find a book about restarting your love life after having kids?”
The librarian points to an aisle and whispers back, “Non-Friction.”
I tried to read a book about machines that drill large holes in the ground.
It was boring.
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it has many problems.
For everyone saying he has risen
How about using spoiler alert. Some of us haven’t read the book yet.
I was reading this book about an “immortal” dog
it was impossible to put down
What does the drunk professor say when he realizes he just urinated all over his books ?
Epist-em-ology
“How’d the book burning go last night?”
“It was all Reich”
why don’t people care when your books fall on the floor?
Because you only got your shelf to blame
Why doesn’t Trump read books?
He only reads MAGAzines
Funny Book Puns
It’s satisfying to make word-related jokes. Books, reading, and writing may inspire puns, jokes, and new word meanings. OMG! Whether you’re an enthusiastic reader, a writer, a librarian, or simply someone who likes the English language, these book puns are sure to make you grin.
We have several book-related puns that aren’t only about books. So curl up in your favorite reading corner, be shelf-ish, and absorb all the book puns you can. Space, rock, biology, and scientific jokes will enhance your understanding and make you laugh. You may discover additional synergy with these genres.
Laugh more here: Funny Working From Home Jokes
Book me with your best plot.
A good book really hits the plot.
Little books try harder.
It’s a story, story night.
I’m a read demon.
Books provide food for plot.
When I read, I feel free as a word.
Reading this book is a write of passage.
After school, I go directly to tale.
Tale male is another name for media mail.
You can book-mark my words.
Ain’t no bookshelf wide enough …
I never met a book I didn’t like.
Book on tape? Crank up the volume!
All booked up and nowhere to go.
Don’t go booking my heart.
What’s in bookstore for me today?
Not all books are created sequel.
This story leaves a plot to be desired.
Check out the latest edition to my collection!
Was it something I read?
Funny Reading Jokes
When you say your weekend’s booked, do you mean it? As in, you spend Friday through Sunday reading? Your concept of “light” is growing “lit”-erary. Hey, we think you’re quite cool. You presumably share our appreciation for the written word and a good chuckle. When you combine the two, you get book puns and jokes that will make your fellow bibliophiles lose their place.
As every bookworm knows, our love of books can be funny. Sure, we like austere literature too. Reading quotations with our kids is a must. And we couldn’t survive car journeys without good audiobooks. But we think there’s a time and a place for humor.
Laugh more here: Funny Graduation Jokes
I can tell you like me, you hecking me out.
Libraries are good for circulation.
Dewey go together?
I think so!
Stay true to your-shelf.
Treat yo’ shelf.
I wanted to visit the local library, but it was overbooked.
I have absolutely no shelf control when it comes to books!
Librarians know everything—they’re so resourceful.
I haven’t been to the library in a while,Dewey find the books?
Why was the encyclopedia removed from the library?
He couldn’t control his volume.
Are you sure you want to borrow all those books?
You don’t want to overdue it.
I’ve decided to retire as a librarian to start a new chapter in my life.
Why did the detective go to the library?
He wanted to check out a mystery.
What is a car’s favorite genre?
Auto-biography.
Why was the library so tall?
Because it had a lot of stories!
Library Knock Knock Jokes
This is a compilation of the best library knock-knock jokes ever. If you want to make your next meeting or conference that much funnier, then this type of humor is perfect for you!
Laugh more here: Hilarious Aht Aht Aht Jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cardigan.
Cardigan who?
Oh, no! I went to the library and forgot my card-igan!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow better place to hang out during the winter than the library!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Clothes on.
Clothes on who?
The library’s clothes on Thanksgiving, but we’ll be open again on Friday!
Knock knock.
Student: Who’s there?
Librarian: Winnie.
Student: Winnie who?
Librarian: Winnie you going to bring back that overdue book, hm?
Knock knock.
Kid: Who’s there?
Librarian: Winnie Thupp.
Kid: Winnie Thupp who?
Librarian: He’s in the juvenile fiction, and so is Piglet!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Read Ann.
Read Ann who?
Read Ann-y good books lately?
Dirty Library Jokes
You know that feeling when you’re in the library and need to lighten up the mood? Well, we’ve compiled the best dirty library jokes!
Laugh more here: Best Jokes for Adults
Am I too loud, perhaps you should shush me with your lips?
Archivists do it with gloves on, good that we aren’t.
Are you a librarian?
Because girl you point me to my wildest imagination.
Are you shelf Sexy?
Because I’ve been searching for you everywhere.
Do you have overdue books?
Because you have fine written all over you.
I bet I can find a place to fit you in my private library collection.
Baby, the only section in my library is classified under Dewey 617 because I only have eyes for you.
To me, you are a library book.
I can’t stop checking you out.
Am I too loud, perhaps you should shush me with your lips?
If you decline my wish to take you out, it would be a Crime and Punishment.
Archivists do it with gloves on, good that we aren’t.
Baby, my life is an open book for you in this library.
I’ve tried my best to put you down but I’ve realized I won’t. You are a thriller.
Babe, my hardcovers is going to make you last.
Are you a library book?
Because I’m checking you out!
Babe, meet me in the fantasy section and I will show you a whole new world.
You are smoking hot.
Do you read Fahrenheit 451?
Boy, you must be a library book, because I can’t stop checking you out.
Babe, forget about the time limit here, let’s go back to my place and do it all night long.
Summary
In this compilation of funny, jokey, and witty library jokes, you’ll find them all. Your favorite puns, riddles, jokes, and dares. From the classics to un-knew-of-the-world stuff and everything in between, these librarians know how to keep their patrons engaged on a daily basis!
- Short Funny Brunette Jokes
- Funny Singapore Jokes
- Ginger Red-Head Jokes
- Funny Characters Of All Time
- Funny Social Distancing Jokes
- Funniest Quarantine and Covid Jokes
- Beach Puns and Jokes
- Hilarious British Jokes
- Funniest Early Morning Jokes
- Hilarious Los Angeles Jokes
- Gracefully Funny Dance Jokes
- Funny Thanksgiving Jokes
- Funny Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes
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