thanksgiving jokes

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes

Thanksgiving isn’t the easiest holiday to spend with your family. So here are some jokes to help lighten the mood and reduce the tension on the dinner table. With these jokes, you will be able to loosen up even your crankiest relatives and friends. The best part is that there are kid friendly jokes, so this post is for everyone.

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes For Kids

Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?
He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.

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What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food!

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!

What animal has the worst eating habits?
The pig?
Nope. The turkey, because it gobbles everything up!

What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler!

Why do turkeys eat so little?
Because they are always stuffed.

What part of the turkey does a drummer love the most?
The drumsticks.

Laugh more here: Funny Drummer Jokes

What key has legs and can’t open doors?
A turkey.

Why did the cranberries turn red?
Because they saw the turkey dressing!

Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats!

What did the turkey say to the computer?
“Google, google, google.”

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone on Thanksgiving Day!

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?

Quack! Quack!

Which bird is best at bowling?
A turkey.

What sound does a limping turkey make?
Wobble, wobble!

What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to at the first Thanksgiving feast?
Plymouth Rock!

What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them.

Which November holiday is Dracula’s favorite?

What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes, of course! A building can’t jump at all.

Thanksgiving Jokes for the Family

What did Uncle Jim say to the pecan?

I only have pies for you.

What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?


What do you get when you divide a pie’s circumference by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi.

What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?

Serve him lots of chocolate and ice cream.

What sound does a turkey’s phone make?

Wing, wing, wing!

What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

A turkey trot.

What did grandma say when picking out the turkey?

Go big or gourd home.

Why did the farmer separate the chicken and the turkey?

He sensed fowl play.

The turkey should’ve filled his cavity at the dentist instead.

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes…but I couldn’t quit cold turkey.

What did Aunt Lisa say to the pumpkin pie?

You are the pick of the patch.

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?

Finally, enough drumsticks for everyone.

Why didn’t the Pilgrim want to make the bread?

It’s a crummy job.

 Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?

It had 24 carrots.

Our daughter wants us to set a place at our Thanksgiving dinner table, for her teddy bear, Theodore. She promises he won’t eat very much.
She said he has been eating a lot lately, and is already stuffed

What do rednecks do for Thanksgiving?
Pump kin

I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie,
but some people say that’s irrational.

Thanksgiving will be extra special this year
Because people will be spreading diseases to each other, just like in the original.

Would you like some Thanksgiving leftovers?
I’m trying to quit cold turkey.

I go around throwing a stone at anyone who sings Christmas carols before Thanksgiving. What is the name of this stone?
It’s my Jingle Bell Rock.

Thanksgiving Jokes To Share With Your Friends

How do you win an argument with your family this Thanksgiving?
Click the ‘End Meeting’ button

What’s the worst part of a family thanksgiving in Alabama?
the sexual tension

The day in 1621 when Native Americans shared a meal with undocumented immigrants who never left.

My girlfriend was making rolls on Thanksgiving and kept asking me to pour her more flour…
I told her “you’re so kneady”.

I tried to post a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys…
But it was removed because of fowl language.

Why was O.J. allowed out of jail for Thanksgiving?
He was the only one in his family who knows how to carve up white meat.

My wife was running low on some seasoning for Thanksgiving dinner, so she stretched it by adding marijuana.
It was high thyme.

Why did you ruin the Thanksgiving turkey at the last minute?
It just wasn’t very well thawed out.
(it’s bad, but it’s mine)

What happens when everyone gets together at Thanksgiving during the pandemic?
You get the coronacopia.

Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.

What did the turkey say to the US president on Thanksgiving?
I beg your pardon.

I didn’t realize how racist my family was until I brought my black girlfriend home for Thanksgiving dinner
My wife and kids HATED her!

This Thanksgiving I have no soda, and that makes me sad.
You could say I’m soda pressed


Now you can go for your family thanksgiving and return with a smile on your face. try your best to keep everyone laughing because that way no one gets to ask you questions you aren’t really interested in answering.

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