Are you struggling to pay rent? Let’s face it: we’re all a little squeamish. The majority of tenants despise their landlords, and the worst part is that landlords despise tenants who are unable to pay their rent on time. No one should be held responsible for the financial difficulties we have experienced as a result of the pandemic. Let’s simply have a good laugh with these funny landlord jokes and puns that we’ve prepared for you.
We share with you:
Funny Landlord Jokes
With these amusing landlord jokes, you’ll never be short of laughs again, and no one will evict you for saying them! Better learn them before you live in a cardboard box.
My landlord says he needs to come to talk to me about how high my heating bill is.
I told him, ‘My door is always open!’
So, the other day my landlord asked me out on a date.
I mean, they called it “an eviction” but I knew what they meant.
I gave my Landlord an ear job to pay for rent this month.
I’ve got to say it wasn’t as bad as it sounds.
What do landlords contribute to society?
A great source of protein.
What did the yoga instructor say to her landlord before she was evicted?
Namaste.
Did you ever hear of the landlord who played favorites?
He only did maintenance for his main tenants.
Why was the landlord seeing a psychiatrist?
He had an apartment complex.
What do cuckolds and landlords have in common?
Neither of them wants to give you your deposit back.
Why did the landlord put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
Laugh more: Funny Ice Puns
Landlady Jokes
With these amusing landlady jokes, you’ll never be short on laughs again, and no one will ever evict you for saying them!
What’s the opposite of a mermaid?
Landlady.
Why couldn’t Christopher Reeve pay his landlady?
Back rent.
Kenny’s favourite part of living in his mom’s basement is sleeping with the landlady.
Laugh more here: Funny Sleep Jokes
My landlady said she is evicting the tenant with the worst posture.
I have a hunch, it’s me
How do you get a landlady out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Laugh more: Funny Tree Jokes
What’s a landlord?
A real estate agent without a sense of humor.
What did the apartment say to the landlady?
Please Re-Lease Me.
What’s the difference between a landlady and a pit bull?
Lipstick.
Laugh more: Funny Dog Jokes
What is a landlady’s favorite game to play?
Monopoly
Why do people in the south hate landladies?
Because the devil rents down in Georgia.
What do you have when 100 mortgage brokers are buried up to their neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
Landlord Tenant Jokes
Landlord and Tenant can have a love and hate relationship. It’s amusing how landlords and tenants can be both buddies and adversaries at the same time. View and enjoy our collection of humorous landlord-tenant jokes.
I used to clean the toilets when I was in the army.
They called me loo tenant.
Laugh more: Funny Cleaning Jokes
What do you call a Vietnam war hero with a new apartment?
New tenant Dan.
The tenants said the house was haunted.
You’d think I would’ve noticed after 200 years.
What’s the difference between your tweaker neighbor and your grandma’s favorite singer?
One’s a bony tenant and one’s a Tony Bennett.
Laugh more here: Funny Grandma Jokes
Why did the soldier salute the occupied restroom?
There was a loo tenant inside.
My Israeli tenant doesn’t want to rent from me anymore.
He’s annoyed that I address all correspondence to ‘The Occupier.
I once shared renting a property with a man from the army.
I took the right half, and he was the left tenant.
Why did the sailor get a promotion when he went to the restroom?
Because he became a loo tenant.
Renting Jokes
Rentingr jokes and puns may do wonders for your rental health if you use them correctly! It is quite unlikely that you would get mentally exhausted after reading them.
Did you hear that the US bobsled team put Donald Trump’s picture on the front of the sled?
Apparently, nobody else can make America go downhill faster.
Moving back in with your parents is not rent-free.
There’s at least one or two of them.
Why do strip malls love renting space to Chinese restaurants?
Because they’re lo mein tenants.
Laugh more: Funny Hong Kong Jokes
How did Beethoven rent out his house?
He put it up Fur Elise.
I gave my Landlord an ear job to pay for rent this month.
I’ve got to say it wasn’t as bad as it sounds.
Went to Blockbuster and asked if I could rent Batman Forever.
The best they could do was 3 days.
Laugh more: Funny Superhero Jokes
Did you hear Elon Musk opened a storefront down at the mall?
“Space for Rent”
What do you call a Metal Can rent an apartment?
A tinant.
What do you call a fetus that pays the rent?
A womb-mate
What happens when a Communist doesn’t pay their rent?
They get Bolshevik-ted.
Eviction Jokes
Being evicted is never a pleasant experience. What should you do if you’ve been evicted and don’t have a place to stay? The best thing to do is to gather your pals and, if possible, just laugh it off with our eviction jokes. Tomorrow will be better.
What did the city say to the chemist getting evicted?
Cesium and desist.
Laugh more: Funny Chemistry Jokes
What did the superconducter say when he was evicted from his property.
Oh no! I’m ohmless!
What does a fly say when he’s evicted without warning?
A little notice would be nice!
What’s the similarity between a bad postman and an eviction notice.
There’s nothing worse than the day they come in the mail.
How should the American taxpayer recoup Trump’s expensive presidency?
Make his eviction pay-per-view.
Obama smoked weed growing up and look where he is today.
Unemployed, with two kids, and recently evicted.
What did the struggling, single mother get for Christmas?
An eviction notice.
What’s the similarity between a bad postman and an eviction notice.
There’s nothing worse than the day they come in the mail.
Apartment Jokes
Apartment living is appealing because of the security, convenience, cheap upkeep, and additional attractions such as a swimming pool. Banter our apartment jokes to make a good impression on your landlord.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
Laugh more: Funny Insect Jokes
What do you call a Vietnam war hero with a new apartment?
New tenant Dan.
My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment.
It’s a little flat.
Did you see that movie with the bugs living together in an apartment?
It’s about ten ants.
What do you call 5 ants who move into an apartment with another 5 ants?
Tenants.
Why did the homeless man move into an apartment?
He was thinking outside the box.
How do bees let visitors into their apartment building?
They buzzzzz them in.
What shoes does a British apartment wear?
Flats!
The poor man lives in an apartment complex.
The rich man finds it quite simple.
My roommate got in trouble with the police because he had two crows in our apartment as pets.
The cops arrested him for attempted murder.
Rental Car Jokes
It is less expensive to rent a car for a month than to purchase a car. You may save money by renting rather than owning a vehicle for brief periods of time. So, while looking for one, your should also check out our rental car jokes.
What do you call a rental from your parents?
A parental.
It’s tough looking for a rental that allows pets
No one seems to have the right claws in the contract.
My owner added a new rule to the rental contract on Christmas.
He Sent-a-Clause.
Laugh more: Funny Christmas Jokes
What does a prosthetic rental service do?
They lend a hand.
If you came across 10 kilos of cocaine in the back of a rental car, what would you do?
Cocaine.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
Laugh more: Funny Spain Jokes
Why was the mole’s rental fee so costly?
Because he burrowed and never returned
Did you hear about the rental boat that didn’t allow dogs or women on board?
It was called the Cat-or-a-Man Catamaran.
Why are rental cars so depressed all the time?
Because they’re loners.
I prefer to buy rental properties that take up an entire city block or more.
I’m in it for the long hall.
Property Management Jokes
Real estate investing is a serious industry with significant risks. As we browse some of the finest property management jokes out there, we invite you to take a break and join us in sharing a chuckle.
Recently, my property manager called, wanting to discuss my obscenely high heating bill over the last few months.
“Come on by,” I told him. “My door is always open!”
I recently overheard two women on the train discussing their apartments.
“My landlord only reaches out when he needs something from me,” complained one.
“Oh, I know!” Sympathized the other. “Landlords are so stuck up. It’s like they own the place!”
My landlord walked in the other day, threatening to kick me out. Her reason? I hadn’t made a single rental payment in years; just listen to what she had to say.
“Come on, son – you’re 35. Don’t you think it’s time you found a place of your own?”
Why was the landlord seeing a psychiatrist, a clinical psychologist, and a licensed counselor?
He had an apartment complex!
Summary
For those of you who like our humorous jokes about landlords, be sure to browse through the rest of our jokes, where you’ll find many more amusing jokes like these:
- Coffee Puns and Jokes
- Kitchen Jokes
- Funny Mum jokes
- Jokes for Teens (that are funny!)
- Funny quotes
- Funny Clean Jokes
- Love Jokes
- Science Jokes
- Bar Jokes
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