funny heart jokes

60 Fluttering Funny Heart Jokes

The heart is the center of the circulatory system and one of the main four organs in your body, which pumps oxygen-rich blood to all parts of your body. Having a good sense of humor is also very important, especially when you are in front of a heart transplant surgeon! If you talk about heart in a general manner, then it is pretty easy to come up with a list of cute sayings. Some of the most hilarious and interesting heart jokes will give you plenty of reasons to smile.

When others see you as a source of funny heart jokes, it means people look upon you as a good person. This is because heart jokes are supposed to put people in a good mood, right? Unlike bad heart jokes, which make you feel like tearing your hair out. In other words, these jokes will not leave you feeling depressed or annoyed by their contents.

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Funny Heart Jokes

A collection of funny heart jokes and one-liners, from the latest to the oldest, including the best ones!

Laugh more here: Jokes Straight From the Heart 


Why was Freddy called the heartthrob?
He had frequent palpitations.

Why was Freddy called the heartthrob He had frequent palpitations.


What was the Irish dancer called after he died?
Michael Flatline.


When the heart was found guilty of stealing, what did the heart police do?
They went into cardiac arrest.


What was the main ingredient of junk food at the stall at the fair?
Heart disease.


What is Bernie called by his friends for his love for dark beer?
A stouthearted.


What is the heart’s favorite shade of red?
It’s beat-red.

What is the heart's favorite shade of red It's beat-red.


What happened when the patient refused to get a heart transplant?
He had a change of heart.


Which is the most loving vegetable?
An artichoke, as it has a heart.


What does the man call his girlfriend whom he met on Twitter?
Tweetheart.


Why did Robert fail the medical exam when his right shoulder was X-rayed?
Because he did not put his heart into it.


Why was the musician taken to the hospital right after his performance?
Because he played his heart out in it.


Why did the heart bang the door so many times for permission?
It had palpitations.


What do you call an attack on an organ donation bank?
A heart attack!

What do you call an attack on an organ donation bank A heart attack!


What happened to the bear with heart problems?
It had a Kodiak arrest.


Hilarious Jokes About Heart

Laughter is a way of smiling with your eyes. Enjoy your heart, and share this laughter with your friends through these heart jokes.

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Why did Gary send pictures of his heart X-ray to his girlfriend every month?
He wanted to show that his heart is in the right place.


What did the drum say to the drumstick?
My heart beats for you.

What did the drum say to the drumstick My heart beats for you.


Why did the skeleton refuse to propose to his girlfriend?
His heart was not in it.


What is Cupid’s favorite rockband?
Heart.


When do you know you are ready for the game?
The moment when your heart is pumped up.


What is Jack called since he is looking for suitors to marry?
Jack of hearts.

What is Jack called since he is looking for suitors to marry Jack of hearts.


Why was the ghost scared of coming out in the light?
He did not have the heart to do it.


What was the easiest way to reach a man’s heart?
Through his chest.


Why did the pig have a heart attack?
It had too much bacon.


Why was the woman searching for a man with a good heart?
Because she needed a heart transplant!


What do you call a film on an organ donation bank?
The Heart Locker.

What do you call a film on an organ donation bank The Heart Locker.


What are two bakers in love called?
Sweet-hearts.


Why should you remember to take the candles off your cake before you eat it?
You might get heartburn.


What do you call a lover who left his date in the midway of Valentine’s Day?
He is a halfhearted lover.


What did Herbie, the gardener gift his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A heart-beet.


What did the locksmith tell his girlfriend on Valentine’s day?
You have the key to my heart.

What did the locksmith tell his girlfriend on Valentine's day You have the key to my heart.


What did a plumber say to his love interest on Valentine’s Day?
You get my heart pumping.


Why was Grey’s heart pumping so fast when he met his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
He had tachycardia.


What did the mushroom say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
I have so mushroom for you in my heart.


Why did Karen gift her boyfriend a lettuce plant?
Because it’s all heart.

Why did Karen gift her boyfriend a lettuce plant Because it's all heart.


What did the heart weather girl say to her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day?
My love for you cannot be measured, it is off the ch-hearts.


Why did Lily paint the hearts in her Valentine’s Day card in white?
Because she was feeling lighthearted.


Cardiologist Heart Jokes

Dealing with patients’ heart issues can be very stressful, but it doesn’t have to be. Laughter reduces stress, improves blood flow and strengthens the immune system. Share some laughter for your patient’s health!

Laugh more here: Funny Doctor Jokes


Why did the shy doctor call his wife a thoracic cavity?
Because she kept his heart.

Why did the shy doctor call his wife a thoracic cavity Because she kept his heart.


Why was the student cardiologist crying when after he went through a dissection class?
Because it was heart-breaking.


Why would the Backstreet Boys turn out to be terrible cardiologists?
Because they will say that whatever you have is nothing but a heart-ache.


What did the cardiac surgeon say when he knew that the transplanted organ reached his home instead of the hospital?
Home is where the heart is.


What would you call a bad date with a cardiologist?
A heart time.

What would you call a bad date with a cardiologist A heart time.


How did Gina know that she wanted to be a cardiologist?
She always followed her heart.


What did the cardiologist say about the condition of Mr. Roy’s heart?
I can heartly believe you are so sick.


What is the favorite musician of the cardiologist?
Heart Garfunkel.


What car did the heart surgeon have for himself?
A beater.

What car did the heart surgeon have for himself A beater.


What praise did the cardiologist get for keeping all her patient’s names in alphabetical order?
He was very organ-ized.


What is the favorite non-fiction book of a Cardiology teacher?
The “Heart of Living”.

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How did the cardiac surgeon show his girlfriend where his heart lay?
With a scalpel and bone saw.


What was the heart-wrenching story Sara narrated?
It was how a cardiac surgeon became a car mechanic.


What happens when a cardiac surgeon tries to do comedy?
The viewers have heartburn.


What happened to the student who failed his cardiology exam?
He had heart failure.


What happened to the cardiologist who wanted to become an actor?
It was all in vein.

What happened to the cardiologist who wanted to become an actor It was all in vein.


What did the cardiologist’s mother say to her children at dinner?
Eat your heart out.


Why could the physician not find their lover’s heart during the surgery?
Because it was on their sleeves.


What was the doctor feeling before entering the operation theatre?
Immense stent-tion.


After the bypass surgery, which movie would a cardiologist tell her patient to watch?
Braveheart.


When the cardiology said that the patient required emergency heart surgery, what did the patient reply?
I’ll bypass my heart problems.


Why did Wiona think that a defibrillator was a romantic gesture for Valentine’s Day?
Because she wanted to show that her husband sends shocks to her heart.


Why didn’t Daisy pay rent to live with her boyfriend?
Because she lived in his heart.


What did the cardiologist say to his girlfriend, who is a Geology student on Valentine’s Day?
You make my heart gush, and thus I lava you.


What did the Italian chef say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
You will always have a pizza my heart.

What did the Italian chef say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day You will always have a pizza my heart.


Summary

Discover a huge selection of funny, witty, and hilarious heart jokes to share with your loved one. We all know that our heart is the source of love. When people talk about their ‘heart’ in a romantic way, they are talking about the person’s true love for another. A heart is much more than a physical feeling; it’s an approach to life and love – we must get to the core of something to understand it.

Some of the things that you read on this page will make you laugh. However, if after reading them you find yourself pumping your fist in the air and saying “That’s what I’m talking about!” chances are pretty good that you don’t have a lot of friends.

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Julia
I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh.