funny doctor jokes

55 Funny Doctor Jokes That Will Giggle Your Pain Away

The clinical field in 2021 hasn’t been the most confident space this year, yet assuming that there’s whatever lights up a temperament, it’s a cheesy joke. Other than being specialists in medication, doctors are likewise experts of solace, and that implies they generally have the best jokes. The emergency clinic can be a distressing spot and it very well may be difficult to remain positive, particularly when you’re the debilitated one. Managing specialists is never particularly fun, yet these doctor jokes are!

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Funny Doctor Jokes

Do you like jokes that are somewhat longer? These jokes might be long, however, they’re loaded with clinical humor, so you and your PCP will appreciate them.

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Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave?
The hip replacement guy.

What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?
♪ Shady’s back. ♪

What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money?
“Do you see any change in me?”

I thought chiropractors were a big hoax.
But I stand corrected.

I thought chiropractors were a big hoax. But I stand corrected.

What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
For one, you get treatment; for the other, you get ointment.

Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.

Why did the pillow go to the doctor?
He was feeling all stuffed up!

Why did the pillow go to the doctor He was feeling all stuffed up!

Did you hear the one about the germ?
Never mind; I don’t want to spread it around.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
He was feeling really crumby.

What’s the best place to hide from a doctor?
The apple orchard.

What’s the best place to hide from a doctor The apple orchard.

What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine?
A pair o’ docs.

Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor?
It had a terrible year-ache.

Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf.
I haven’t heard from him since.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?
He wasn’t peeling well.

Why did the banana go to the doctor He wasn’t peeling well.

How did the doctor cure the invisible man?
He took him to the ICU.

How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!

Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It thought it had a terminal illness.

Hilarious Patient-Doctor Jokes

Regardless of your age, in the event that you must go to the doctor, these jokes will be great.

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Patient: “Doctor, I think I’m turning into curtains.”
Doctor: “Pull yourself together!”

Patient “Doctor, I think I’m turning into curtains.” Doctor “Pull yourself together!”

“Doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
“Yes, of course.” “Great! I never could before!”

Doctor: “I’m just waiting for your x-ray.”
Woman: “But I’ve never dated anyone named Ray.”
Doctor: “Aaaaand we might do a brain scan.”

Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I’m addicted to brake fluid.”
Doctor: “Nonsense, man — you can stop anytime.”

Woman: “My husband swallowed an Aspirin by mistake. What should I do now?”
Doctor: “Give him a headache now; what else!”

Me: “Aren’t you going to treat me?”
Doctor: “I am treating you.”
Me: “You’re just staring at me.”
Doc: “It’s called silent treatment.”

Doctor: “You’re as healthy as a horse!”
Jimmy: “That’s great.”
Doctor: “A horse with kidney stones.”

Patient: “Doctor, are the test results ready yet? I’m dying of curiosity!”
Doctor: “Heh… not only from curiosity.”

Patient “Doctor, are the test results ready yet I’m dying of curiosity!” Doctor “Heh… not only from curiosity.”

Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”
Doc: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”
Patient: “Right around the entrance.”
Doc: “As long as you call it an entrance, it will hurt.”

Doctor: “I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. We have to open you back up.”
Patient: “Are you kidding me?! Tell you what, take this $10 bill and buy a new pair!”

Patient to friend: “I saw the doctor today about my loss of memory.”
Friend: “What did he say?”
Patient: “He asked me to pay him in advance.”

Patient: “Doctor, you told me I have a month to live and then you sent me a bill for $1,000. I can’t pay that before the end of the month!”
Doctor: “OK, then you have six months to live.”

Patient: “Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Please give me your bill.”
Doctor: “Be calm. You are not strong enough for this yet.”

Patient: “Doctor, I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire.”
Doctor: “Drink this glass of water.”
Patient: “Will it make me better?”
Doctor: “No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.”

Doctor: “What seems to be your trouble?”
Patient: “When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour?”
Doctor: “Try getting up one hour later.”

Knock Knock Doctor Jokes

Giggle along with these knock-knock doctor jokes!

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Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Minneapolis who?
Minneapolis a day keeps the doctor away!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Colin who?
Colin the doctor… I’m sick!

Knock, knock! Who’s there Colin Colin who Colin the doctor… I’m sick!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
3:30 who?
I made a doctor’s appointment for 3:30 p.m. Let me in!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Goose who!
Goose see a doctor, you don’t look well!

Knock, knock! Who's there Goose. Goose who! Goose see a doctor, you don't look well!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ima who?
Ima psychiatrist. I’m here ’cause you won’t open up!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Doctor who?
You’re right!

Knock, knock! Who's there Doctor. Doctor who You're right!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Sara who?
Sara doctor in the house?

Different Fields of Doctor Puns and Jokes

Doctors are life savers. They generally have this cool as a calm look all over. Furthermore, taking into account the ocean of feelings they go through as the day progressed – being in an emergency clinic, dealing with individuals, managing the most dreary of life-altering’s situations, and so forth – it’s very exemplary.

So for the following time you visit your doctor, the following are a couple of rib-tickling, senseless jokes that they’ll see the value in you for

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I can’t believe I wanted to be an obstetrician.
I can’t even deliver a joke.

I can’t believe I wanted to be an obstetrician. I can’t even deliver a joke.

If a kid has 25 candy bars and they eat 22 of them, what do they have?

Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian?
Apparently, it’s all about the delivery for some people.

What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician?
General Ken OB.

Why do surgeons wear masks?
So no one will recognize them when they make a mistake.

What did the balloon say to the doctor?
“I feel light-headed.”

What did the balloon say to the doctor “I feel light-headed.”

What award did the dentist win?
A little plaque.

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
She told me to stop going to those places.

What do dentists call the x-rays they take of patients’ teeth?
Tooth pics.

Why did the robot go to the doctor?
She had a virus!

Why did the robot go to the doctor She had a virus!

What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A URL-ologist.

What did the dentist say when Tiger Woods came in for an appointment?
You have a hole in one.

My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, “do you smoke or drink coffee?” I told him I drink it.

Why did Dracula go to the doctor?
He couldn’t stop coffin!

Which teeth do you need to brush?
The ones you want to keep.

Which teeth do you need to brush The ones you want to keep.

What did the dentist say to the tooth when he had to leave the room?
I’ll fill you in when I get back.


Being anxious before a specialist’s visit is absolutely normal and justifiable. Anyway, what better method for easing pre-arrangement nerves than to peruse some senseless specialist jokes? All things considered, laughter is a pain reliever with no side effects. What’s more, as the world turns its consideration during the COVID-19 pandemic to respect attendants, specialists, and other medical services experts, they may likewise require snapshots of levity in these dull times. In light of that, we’ve felt free to gather together the best kids about specialists we could find. In the complete story, a great deal of these is ridiculous. Many are out and out cliché. Yet, — might we venture to say it? — they’re certain to stimulate your entertaining bone while you stand by to see a clinical expert.

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I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh.