Sometimes we laugh because the jokes are funny. Other times they laugh because they’re not funny. It doesn’t happen because the dry jokes are always funny.
Aside from puns, couple jokes, and other funny jokes, comedians really like to spice things up with dry humor (dry humor). This kind of humor creates anticipation and great plot twists that are the main ingredients of laughing out loud. Yes, we are not here for you to be a comedian, famous or unknown We know you’re here to laugh at the following jokes, collected from the authors To make things even more interesting, we have a challenge for you: try to read the following jokes without laughing.
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We share with you:
Funny Dry Humor Jokes
The funniest dry humor jokes are those that are totally unexpected and bold. Having tissues nearby while reading them is strongly recommended.
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How do I eat consciously?
You try not to lose consciousness when eating.
A wife tells her husband, ‘I’m just going to pop over to Jenny next door for 5 minutes, don’t forget to stir the curry every half an hour!’
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and moist?
Gum!
Why did Mr. Potato Head’s dry cleaning service go out of business?
He always used too much starch.
How do you describe a joke that isn’t funny?
A sentence.
What makes pigs never appear in trees?
Because they’re pretty good at it.
Is there a difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A hippo’s really heavy and a zippo’s a little lighter.
Can you tell me what’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
Hell is red hot, dry, and mostly empty,
so how do Australians know they’re dead?
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
That awkward moment when your parents have been telling you not to jump on the bed, but what do you hear at 11 pm?
Your parents jumping on the bed.
Despite having dry skin, my friend doesn’t like to talk about it…
She’d rather just sweep it under the carpet.
I composed a song about tortillas.
Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Hilarious Dry Humor Jokes
Fun things are different. No need to make it long. It can also appear as a single statement. In this case, they are dry and witty jokes that will make you laugh out loud.
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My friend got a job at the dry cleaners, but he got stressed out because he always mixed up the orders and kept upsetting the customers.
So the boss sent him to do a course in anger management.
What is the best way for me to eat consciously?
You try not to lose consciousness when eating.
What is small, square, and green?
A small green square.
When french fries meet after a long time, what do they do?
They ketchup.
When an organ donor dies, what does he do?
He mingles in the crowd.
Can openers that don’t work be called what?
A can’t opener!
When the fish swam into a wall, what did he say?
Dam.
NASA is currently investigating why Mars used to be warm and wet and now dry and cold.
My guess is 5–10 years of marriage.
Do you know why everyone avoids my house?
It’s haunted.
What do monkey and pancake batter have in common?
They both love bananas.
The toilet paper rolled downhill for what reason?
To get to the bottom.
They’re introducing facial recognition in smartphones.
I’m guessing 60% of women will have serious problems calling anyone in the mornings.
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When french fries meet after a long time, what do they do?
They ketchup.
Shopping mall wife’s average speed:
$200 per hour.
A flat earther’s only fear…
is sphere itself.
In my pajamas, I shot an elephant one morning.
How he got into my pajamas, I’ll never know.
How come oysters don’t donate to charity?
They’re shellfish.
What does a baby computer call its father?
Data.
My dog is an awesome fashion adviser. Every time I ask him what I look like in my clothes,
he says, ‘WOW!’
What is the main cause of dry skin?
Towels.
I call my horse Mayo…
and sometimes Mayo neighs.
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I asked what I should bring to the party.
The hosts said: nothing, just bring a happy face. I had to cancel.
Have you heard about the butter rumor?
Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.
Dry Humor One-Liners
Are you already tired from all that laughing? I’m sure you could laugh some more. 😄 Prepare your belly for one more session of a good laugh.
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Losing a wife can be very tough.
Some may even say impossible.
What can you share and yet keep at the same time?
An STD, for example.
What’s a dry orange good for?
Nothing at all. It’s juiceless.
What do you do if your eyes are dry?
Moisturise.
Why should you never eat a clock?
It’s too time-consuming.
Why aren’t people allowed to bbq naked in hot, dry climates?
High risk of bushfires.
What is written on a dentist’s grave?
He’s filling his last cavity.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Why did the old man fall into the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
What do pigs apply for dry skin?
Oinkment.
What kind of jokes do laundry like?
Dry humor.
Why are eggs not into jokes?
Because they could crack up.
I will never forget my dad’s last words:
‘Will you stop playing with the bow, Nicholas?!’
I threw away my can opener.
It was more of a can’t opener.
How do you describe a joke that isn’t funny?
A sentence.
I composed a song about tortillas.
Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Average speed of a wife in a shopping mall: $200 per hour.
Google request: How to disable autocorrect in a wife?
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo’ drizzle.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
What is small, square, and green?
A small green square.
What do you call a vegan with diarrhea?
A smoothie maker.
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright before you hear them speak.
My humor is so dry… It comes with a glass of water.
Dry Humor Jokes
Dry humor is best when it contains elements of dark jokes. Get angry by reading these dry humor jokes for more laughs.
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A man drops his phone on a concrete floor. The phone is fine, with no damage.
How come? He had it on airplane mode.
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A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini ‘Dry?’ the bartender asks.
‘Nein,’ says the German. ‘Just one.’
Taking out my smoking jacket,
I washed it under the tap, then sat down to relax.
If you have ever stayed in the UK for more than two days,
you will know that something has to be “dry”.
I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me. – Elayne Boosler
Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait. – Whitney Brown
I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems.
The first thing the bastard did was made me pay in advance.
A cow with a twitch is called what?
Beef jerky.
The teacher explains to the children in civic education, ‘Every minute that I stand here talking to you, 12 people die.’
Little Johnny raises his hand, ‘perhaps you could try some mouthwash?’
I asked my girlfriend to suck the life out of me and leave me dry…
She replied, “YES, I’ll marry you.”
“I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.” – Elayne Boosler
Frogs wear what kind of shoes?
Open toad sandals.
What’s brown and ringing like a bell?
Dung.
So I got off the plane and I forgot to take off my seat belt, and I’m dragging the plane through the terminal. The wings are knocking people over.” – Steven Wright.
People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.
Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
I do.
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
(NSFW) Gum!
Summary
Dry humor jokes are unexpectedly cheeky, funny and just great. This joke is literally screaming. I’m not trying to make you laugh, but I know you laugh. Enjoy this joke whenever you need a sense of humor. Also, don’t forget to share it with your partners, friends, family and colleagues. Laughter is the best cure for anything and strengthens your bond with others.
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