23 Funny "and that's how the fight started..." Jokes and Comebacks

We all love a good comeback and in fact, the “and that’s how the fight started…” are a good inspiration for this. Yet, be careful, some of them might actually start a massive fight.

I collected my absolute favorite jokes of this sort.

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What is a that is how the fight started joke?

This type of jokes usually involves two people. Words are being twisted and the final reply is the one provoking the fight or argument. Most of the time, the main characters involved are wife and husband, but you will also find these jokes adapted to daughter, son, mother-in-law, father-in-law and best friends.

We share with you:

Best Jokes: … and that’s how the fight started…

Last year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.

Mother-in-law: “That is sad. Why didn’t I get a gift his year?”

I replied: “Well, in all fairness, you still have not used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…

A commercial boasted that its product could help people live pain free in their golden years.

Me: “Am I in my golden years”

My husband:”Not at all, but you are yellowing fast.”

And that’s how the fight started…

My wife was hinting about what she wanted as a Christmas present. She said “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2 seconds!”

I bought her a shiny new bathroom scale.

And that’s how the fight started…

More: More hilarious holiday and Christmas jokes

I am chilling at the sofa and my mom comes in.

My mom: “Is this what you are doing all day?”

Me: “This is what I am doing every day!”

And that’s how the fight started…

More: Funny teen jokes for boys and girls

My wife saw down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked: “What is on TV?”

Me: “Dust!”

And that’s how the fight started…

This morning, I crashed into the back of a car.

The driver of the other car gets out and he is a dwarf.

He looks at me and says: “Look mate, I am not Happy!”

Me: “Well, which one are you then?”

And that’s how the fight started with a little person…

I asked my husband: “Honey what do you love most about me? My body or my face?”

My husband: “Your sense of humor.”

And that’s how the fight started…

My wife asked me to load the dishwasher.

So I poured her some hots and told her to start drinking.

And that’s how the fight started…

My father-in-law is a Reverend. He is usually soft spoken until he is on the pulpit where he is loud and direct.

I asked him: “Why do you feel like you must yell when you are on the pulpit?”

He said: “Do you know what the sermon was about?”

Me: “Yeah, it was about Hearing God!”

He responded: “Well son..I don’t shout for attention, I don’t shout for the Amens, I don’t even shout for the hearing impaired. I shout for the people like you who goes to sleep as soon as they sit on the pew, so you can get the Word in your dreams….and by the way the sermon was about Prosperity!”

And that’s how the fight started…

People that know my husband realize that he is very witty and sharp.

While at the mall he was observing a teenage boy whose hair was spiked with orange, green, and blue colors.

After a few moments, the kid says to my husband: “What’s the matter, old man, haven’t you ever done anything wild?”

My husband smiled and said: “Of course! In fact I once had sex with a parrot, and I was wondering if you might be my son.”

And that’s how the fight started…

Laugh more here: Funny Parrot Jokes

On our first date in a romantic restaurant.

Her: “So what do you do?”

Me: “I stalk people!”

Her: “Oh really, I like nature and running.”

Me: “I know!”

And that’s how the fight started…

My wife was standing naked in front of the bathroom mirror. She had a look of frustration on her face and turned to me.

My wife: “I am no longer happy with my appearance. I feel awful. I look wrinkled, fat, and old. I really need you to give me a compliment to make me feel better.”

Me: “My darling, you have 20 20 vision!”

And that’s how the fight started…

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

Me: “I will have a rum steak, rare, please!”

Waiter: “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

Me: “Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s how the fight started…

I asked my husband: “Why do you keep twisting your marriage ring on your finger?”

He said: “I am trying to figure out the combination.”

And that’s how the fight started…

Me and my wife were sitting at a table at her high school reunion. When she kept staring at a drunken man swigging a beer as he sat a nearby table.

Me: “Do you know him?”

My wife: “Yes, he is my high school boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago. In fact, he even asked me to marry him.”

Me: “That is quite impressive. He is still celebrating…”

And that’s how the fight started…

Laugh more here: Funny Boyfriend Jokes

I asked my wife if I could run my finger through her hair.

She nodded and said she would like that.

I started brushing across her lip…

And that’s how the fight started…

My husband was recently stopped by a police officer who said: “Congratulations, sir! You are the 1,000,000th car to drive over this bridge – you win $10,000! What will you do with that money?”

My husband gets very emotional and says: “First of all, I will finally obtain my driver’s license!”

I cut in and said: “Don’t listen to him, officer, he’s still drunk!”

My mother in law says from the back seat: “I knew we shouldn’t have taken this stolen car!”

And my cousin in the trunk asks: “Hey, are we past the border now?”

And that’s how the fight started…

Read: Laugh out loud with our funny money quotes

During our couples counseling session my husband asked our psychiatrist: “How do you select who should be admitted to your facility?”

The psychiatrist said: “We fill a bathtub with water and give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we ask that person to empty the bathtub.”

My husband smiles and says: “Ah, I understand, if you are sane you would take the bucket.”

The Psychiatrist replies: “No, a sane person pulls the plug.

I asked the psychiatrist: “Is my husband’s room available?”

And that’s how the fight started…

A stranger walked up to my husband and offered to sell him contraband Viagra for $50.

My husband said: “No, not worth it.”

The stranger says: “How about 30?”

My husband said, “No, not worth it.”

The stranger says, “How about 15?”

My husband said, “No, not worth it.”

The stranger says, “Listen, these pills cost $50 each. How can you say they’re not worth it?”

My husband said, “Oh, the pills are worth it – my wife isn’t.”

And that’s how the fight started…

Me and My best friend grew up in the 80’s and 90’s. One day out the blue we started telling Yo Mama Jokes.

Me: “Your mama is sooooo big, when God held the whole world in his hands he have to take her off it first.”

My friend: “Your mamma so sexy she bought me orange juice this morning.” Then my mom, came down the stairs and said “Now you are no longer the youngest.”

And that’s how the fight started…

The daughter asked her father: “Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”

Father: “Do you see those 4 trees? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.”

Daughter: “Dad, there are only 2 trees.”

And that’s how the fight started…

I asked my husband: “If I were to die first, would you remarry?”

He said: “Well, I’m in good health, so why not?”

I asked him: “Would she live in my house?”

He said: “It’s all paid up, so yes.”

I asked: “Would she drive my car?”

He replied: “It’s new, so yes.”

I asked: “Would she use my golf clubs?” He said, “No. She’s left-handed.”