Enjoying the holidays is all about relaxing, kicking back and enjoy the time with your beloved ones. Well, sometimes it is not, but you get the idea. It should not be a time to be too serious. Whatever reason you right now have to look for the funniest holiday jokes, I tried my best to help you! I have collected for you the best holiday jokes; from Christmas to Thanksgiving.
I organized them for kids and families, as well as one liners and of course, for work.
For even more fun, check out my best jokes for vacation time.
We share with you:
Holiday Jokes for Christmas
Let us start with most likely the biggest holiday of the year: Christmas. Obviously they are based around Santa Clause, his reindeer and the North Pole. Below you find all the best holiday jokes for kids.
Read more: Christmas Jokes To Keep You Laughing All Season!
Did you know that Santa knows karate?
In fact, he has a black belt.
What is the Grinch’s favorite holiday?
Grinchmas!
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He refers to his calen-deer.
What is the Snowman’s favorite meal?
Frosted Flakes.
What do you call a greedy elf?
Elfish!
Where does Santa Claus stay on vacation?
At a HO-HO-HOtel.
Read: the 139 best travel jokes and puns
What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause
What do you call a cat dresses as Santa?
Santa Paws
Read: our favorite funny animal jokes
What does lactose free milk wish to the world?
Soy to the world!
Laugh more here: Funniest Milk Jokes
What do you call a snowman that can walk?
Snow-mobile
How is Christmas like your job?
You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Read: the best Boss Jokes to tell around the office
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!
Who’s Santa Claus favorite musician?
Elf-is Presley.
Holiday Jokes for Kids
Do you want some clean holiday jokes? We only listed the other ones at the end of this article Below you find our favorite kid-friendly holiday jokes.
Laugh more with our FUNNY Holiday Jokes for a jolly mood
Why was the Grinch such a great gardener?
He has a green thumb.
What do elves post on Facebook?
Elf-ies!
What do you get if you mix a vampire with a snowman?
Frostbite!
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Iceburgers.
Laugh more here: Yummy Burger Jokes
What is a good holiday tip?
You should never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all birds have gone south for winter.
What does an elf work on after school?
His gnomework.
How does a snowman go to work?
By Icicle.
What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet.
When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas day?
Every single year.
How does a snowman lose weight?
He waits for the weather to get warmer.
Laugh more: Funny Weather Jokes
Why does Santa not need a Therapist?
He does not have low elf-esteem.
Holiday Jokes (Thanksgiving, Easter, 4th of July Jokes and More)
Holidays are not just Christmas. To keep it simple, I added here funny jokes for Thanksgiving (with Turkey) and 4th of July, of course. We will be adding more and more jokes, so bookmark this page 🙂
Laugh more: Funny Thanksgiving Jokes
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, it just waved.
What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!
What do you eat on July 5th? Independence Day-Old-Pizza.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom, of course.
Does Europe have a 4th of July?
Yes, it comes right after 3rd of July.
A battery and a firework were arrested. They charged one, and let the other one off.
What do you call a duck that likes to celebrate Independence Day?
A fire quacker.
How does the Easter bunny get in better shape?
With lots of egg-ercise!
What kind of key cannot open doors?
The tur-key.
Where do turkeys go to dance?
The butterball.
Holiday Jokes One Liners
Jokes are not about size or length…a joke does not need to be long in order to be funny.
Read more: Funny Christmas Puns For Kids
My resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my TV.
Seven star hotels are overrated.
My New Years resolution is 1080p
A battery and a firework were arrested. They charged one, and let the other one off.
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days.
On a flight, and asked for water. The flight attendant said “Still?”. I said “Well, I haven’t changed my mind that quickly”.
Did you know, Walmart gives away free batteries over Christmas? They are free of charge!
“I went on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday last year. Never again”
– by Tim Vine
Holiday Puns
Question: What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Answer: Prankenstein.
What do you call a greedy elf?
Elfish!
Can February march?
No, but April may.
Where Do Snowmen Go To Dance?
To snowballs!
A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other year.
Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
Wrap music!
What type of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.
How does a snowman go to work?
By Icicle.
Holiday Jokes for Work
Not having to work on Christmas is the new Christmas Bonus.
How is Christmas like your job?
You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
The boss tells his employees: “You worked very hard this year, therefore the company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I‘m giving everyone a check for $10,000.”
Thrilled, the employees gather around and high five one another.
Boss: “And if you work with the same zeal next year, I’ll sign those checks, too!”
What is the best holiday present for you coworker?
A broken drum—you just can’t beat it!
Dirty Holiday Jokes
I put this section of the best dirty jokes for the holiday intentionally at the end of this summary. I collected even more dirty jokes here. Seriously, these jokes are not for the kids.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Laugh more here: Funny Pick Up Lines for Girls
Why is Santa Claus’ sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
Mom: “Sweetie, make a Christmas wish.”
Daughter: “I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa’s computer.”
Why did the snowman get a divorce?
Because his wife was a total flake.
My wife gave me a T-Shirt for the holidays. It says “I am a nudist”.
I still haven’t worn it.
Summary
There you have it. If you surrounding allows, take the holidays with a smile. And if your current present does not allow it, well, just take all these jokes for the holidays and lighten up the mood of your crowd.
Extra: You can even prepare your family dinners to be fun. Ask every attendant to prepare a few jokes (3-5 jokes per person). The best jokes receive a crown or some other treat. This can really be super fun for the whole family. Just set a few simple rules first. For instance, it has to be a one-liner or kids-friendly.
Got your own fav holiday puns? Throw them into the comments.
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