What are jokes if you don’t laugh at them? Check out these funny business jokes. I hope you’re reading this on a Monday! The start of the workweek can be brutal so let a business joke uplift your spirit. Jokes will literally help you survive the work week! With all the stress from your job, your daily life, and others, it can be difficult to find something to laugh at. Except, we know that and we aim to remedy that. So, we have here funny business jokes that you can share with your friends. If you’re bold, share them with your boss! Let’s see who caves first.
Are you looking for funny business captions? We have that too!
Are you looking for something funny pick-up line for your business? Or just a terrific statement to sum up your awesome work mantra? Then you’ve come to the right place! Use these funny, sarcastic, borderline laughable captions for business. These statements can be printed in your favorite tee as well! Wear your tee to work and tag us on Instagram!
Business jokes to make you laugh
Jokes often have real meaning or lesson behind them.
Business jokes are often funny because these things happen.
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.
“What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss.
“Haven’t you got a sense of humor?”
“I don’t have to laugh,” she replied.
“I’m leaving Friday.”
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Dad: The girl is Bill Gates’ daughter.
Son: Then okay.
Dad goes to Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill: Then okay.
Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.
Dad: Appoint my son as CEO.
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then okay.
This is a BUSINESS.
Never lend money to a friend. It’s dangerous.
It could damage his memory.
I’ve decided to have myself frozen until science discovers a cure for bad customer service.
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money,
I would start searching with them.
Our Accounting system was flawless until the boss put in his 2 cents worth.
Now all our records are off by 2 cents.
A new business came to see a famous stockbroker.
Investor: Can you tell me how much you charge?
Stockbroker: Of course, I charge $10,000 per question.
Investor: Well that’s a bit steep, isn’t it?
Stockbroker: Yes it is and what’s your third question?
At first, they will ask you why you’re doing it.
Later they will ask how you did it.
Amazing things will happen when you listen to the customer.
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
Keep it fast, keep it fair, keep it simple.
That’s our motto here at the law firm of Rock, Paper, and Scissors.
The way I see it, unethical ethics are better than no ethics at all.
I think we can charge more if we calculate our billable hours in dog years.
I pretty much live on the Internet,
so I wrote down Cyberspace as my legal address.
This plan will be much easier not to implement than the last plan we didn’t implement.
I’m not stupid.
O course, I’ve got a disaster recovery plan.
Unfortunately, it was on my hard drive when it crashed.
Funny Captions for Business
Check out these office jokes and puns too!
No girl will choose six-packs over six cars so stop going to the gym and go to work.
I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
My biggest professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see my computer monitor but me.
If you are going through hell, keep going. Why would you stop in hell?
Ignore your failures like how your crush ignores you.
There’s a guy at my office that we all make fun of because he’s clueless.
Today I found out it’s me.
We need to draw the line on unethical behavior.
But let’s draw it with an Etch-a-Sketch and don’t be afraid to shake it a little.
When people asked, What do you do?
Answer: Whatever it takes.
No funny business. I’ll scream and dead or not it will hurt your ears.
People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full are missing the point.
The glass is refillable.
I heard you’re a player.
Nice to meet you, I’m the coach.
Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person.
Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
Drink water and mind your business today.
I’m returning your nose dear,
I found it in my business.
The problem with a rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.
A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it.
Remember the secret of selling is ‘sincerity’ – once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway.
We can always find something to laugh about. May it be the work, the business, or whatever. the beautiful thing about all this is that as humans, we are able to see the fun side of things. So, focus on that fun side. All these funny business jokes are your fun side. Devour funny business jokes, laugh until you drop, and share!
Are you set up for the weekend? If not, check out these jokes best read during your down days.
Since you stayed until the end, here are more jokes to give you more giggles and laughter: