Everyone loves a beautiful day at a farm and along with it good farm animal jokes. Since you have so many different types of animals on a farm, you can imagine the potential of puns and jokes.
So I sat down and wrote down my favorite funny cow jokes. They are kid-friendly, hilarious and world class.
I recommend to read them before your trip to the farm. This way you are ready to throw in the occasional pun.
Read also my best funny animal jokes here. We also collected very interesting and 15 funny animal riddles for kids and families.
Just so you know, some of these one liners have absolute dad joke potential.
Laugh more here: Best Jokes for Kids
We share with you:
Funny Cow Jokes for Kids
What do you get from a white cow?
Milk.
And what do you get from a black cow?
Coffee!
Laugh more with our Eggcellent Food Jokes and Puns
What does a cow say when dancing incredibly good?
I got the moooo-ves like Jagger.
How would you address the queen of cows?
Your Moojesty.
How does lady gaga usually like her steak?
Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw!
What happens when a cow laughs uncontrollably?
Milk comes out of its nose.
What is a cow’s dream job?
Being an udder cover agent.
What does a cow solider wear?
Cow-moo-flauge.
What does a cow say to his farmer?
Count me in!
What does a black cow say to a white cow?
Got some milk?
What do you get when you mix a white cow with a black cow?
Obviously, you will get the brown cow.
How does a bull drive a car?
Using his horn.
Where would you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it.
Where did the cow spend all its money?
At the cow-sino.
What did the cow tell the butcher?
Please stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef.
Always massage a cow’s back right before you think about putting it out to posture.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator!
What is the cows social media handle?
Bo-Vine.
What’s an unusual way to make a milkshake?
Give a cold cow a pogo stick.
Why did the two cows not like each other?
They had beef.
What happens when you try talking to a cow?
Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.
What do cows read in the morning?
The moos-paper!
How do you tuck in a cow?
Bull Sheets.
What did the cow say at the end of the workday?
An udder day, an udder dollar.
Little Jimmy couldn’t see a good cow pun if it was literally steering him right in the face.
What do you call a scared cow?
A cow-ard.
What do you call a sad cow?
Moo-dy.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Where do cows usually go on a Saturday night?
To the Moooooo-vies.
Where does a cow always want to travel?
To Moo New York City.
Laugh more: Hilarious travel jokes and puns
And why do cows want to travel to new York City?
To see the MOOOO-sicals.
…and since we are talking travel: What is the favorite destination of a cow as a country?
Moo Zealand!
Dad Jokes with Cows
We all love dad jokes! Yes, we do, come on. As much as we love them, we love to roll our eyes at them. Therefore, here are my favorite cow jokes with dad jokes potential. And for even more, I collected the best dad jokes of all time here.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
They lactose.
Why is telling a cow a funny cow joke pointless?
They’ve probably herd it before.
How do farmers count their cows?
They use a cowculator.
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake!
How do you get a cow to keep quiet?
By pressing the moooo-te button.
A cow will never tell you a lie because they simply give you no bull.
What’s a cow’s favorite TV show?
Dr. Moo.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull dozer.
What do you call a world famous cow?
Legen-dairy!
I would love to tell you a cow joke…But I would probably butcher it.
My butcher gave me beef from a female cow.
Suprised I said to my butcher: “Oh, that must be a Miss Steak.”
It’s nearly impossible to hurt the feelings of a cow. They have leather skin.
Funny Cow Puns
Okay okay, you are more the punny kind of person, got it. Here are the absolute best cow puns.
- Dow jokes are a-mooooo-sing.
- The steaks are high.
- What do you call a cow that can part water?
Moo-ses. - I always found cowculus to be the most interesting subject.
- Milk it for all it’s worth.
- And then I told my therapist that I feel seen, but not herd…
- The reason a cow is always broke is because the dairy farmer is always milking them dry.
- I am udderly in love with you!
Not as mooch as I love you. - Cow bells make such beautiful moosic.
- What do you call a redneck motorcycle?
Cow-a-sock-ee. - What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor?Laughing stock.
- Why is telling a cow a funny cow joke pointless?They’ve probably herd it before.
- I don’t normally eat big meals.I’m more of a grazer.
- If you give her any attitude…She’ll tan your hide.
Knock Knock Cow Jokes
Okay, to be fair, there could be more of those knock knock joikes with cows. If you have any more, just drop them in the comment section below.
Find more of the best overall knock knock jokes here.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, silly, cows go MOOOO!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, silly. Cow say MOOOOOOOO.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh-
MOOOO!
Mad Cow Jokes
What do you call a rude cow?
Beef jerky.
What do you call a cruel cow?
A de-moooon.
Seriously, have I ever steered you wrong?
Laugh more here: Seriously Funny Jokes
Why did the two cows not like each other?
They had beef.
That excuse you gave was a bunch of bull.
Cowboy Jokes and Farmer Jokes
How do dairy farmers and cowbodys do their taxes?
They go to an accountant.
How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down!
Why can’t the bankrupt farmer complain?
Because he has got no beef.
If a cowboy is happy, does that make him a Jolly Rancher?
Why did the Cowboy die with his boots on?
Because he didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!
A prospector in the Wild West is crossing the mountains in a horse, a wagon, his daughter and $10,000 in cash.
Suddenly the pair are stopped by a bandit who searches the wagon then rides off with it.
“Dang it!” says the prospector. “There goes my $10,000!”
Daughter: “No, Pa. Look. I managed to hide the money in my mouth.”
Prospector: “Jeepers! If only your Ma was here we could have saved the horse and wagon too!”
Why did the bowlegged Cowboy get fired?
Because he couldn’t keep his calves together!
The farmer thought he only counted 299 cows in the pasture, but after he rounded them up, he now had 300.
What do you call someone who wears Cowboy clothes?
Ranch dressin’.
Farmer John’s cows are the funniest in the land, often referred to as the laughing stock.
Visitor: Wow, you have a lot of flies buzzing round your horses and cows. Do you ever shoo them?
Cowboy: Not really. We usually just let them go barefoot.
What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows?
What a miss-steak.
An army fort in the Wild West is about to be attacked by renegades. The captain sends for his trustiest Indian scout.
“Use all your tracking skills to estimate the sort of war party we’re up against,” orders the captain.
The scout lays down and put his ear to the ground.
He says: “Big war party. One hundred braves in warpaint. Two chiefs, one on a black horse, one on a white mare. Also a medicine man with a limp.”
Captain: “Good God! You can tell all that just by listening to the ground???”
The scout: “No, sir. I’m looking under the gate.’
Summary: WOW Cow Jokes
Did you enjoy these hilarious cow jokes? No doubt you had a good time.
For more jokes in the same direction, read the best animal jokes. We also wrote up the best cat jokes of all time. But be careful, they come with an attitude.
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