A road trip can be long and exhausting. To lighten the mood, I did some research to find you the best funny road trip jokes and puns there is. I cover everything form funny, bad and good ones, to family-friendly road trip jokes for kids and van life.
And yes, dear adults, I also added a bunch of dirty road trip jokes for once the kids are sleeping and the first bottle of wine is gone.
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Funny Road Trip Jokes
We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.
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What do you drink while riding a camel?
Old camper van do not leak oil…they only mark their spot!
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There is nothing I like more than sleeping through a road trip.
But they’re always saying keep your eyes on the road
I didn’t realize how bad of a driver I was until my navigation system told me: “In 400 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out.”
We are planning a road trip trough Canada. My wife is concerned that our old camper van may break down.
I told her not to worry. After all we have Triple Eh.
Which capital is the best to relax after a long road trip?
Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks?
Schrodinger gets pulled over by a police man. The cop is very serious, and starts to search the trunk for anything suspicious.
Police man: “Do you know there’s a dead cat in here?”
Schrodinger: “Well, I do now!”
What are the campers favorite music bands?
Van Halen and Camper Van Beethoven
When I am the Vanlife rocking,
do not come knocking.
Money cannot buy happiness.
But it can buy a beautiful Camper Van!
And the lifestyle it comes with.
If travelling was free, you would never see me again.
If gas was free, you would never see me again.
Every morning I have to decide if I go to work or jump into my van and never come back…
Who is there?
RV there yet.
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Road Trip Puns
Where do bees stop to use the bathroom on road trips?
The BP station.
I am genuinely wondering…how does a Flat Earther travel the world?
Vanlife has nothing to do with Vanilla…It’s more like a choco-strawberry-mint-popsicle-ice cream mix of the finest. I mean, it’s delicious!
What road did Satan take on his road trip?
Why don’t cars work after you change their wheels?
Because they are retired.
Which type of traveler is the most calm?
If there’s one thing that will get ya, it will be vanity.
I refuse to take my dog on road trips any more.
He can be such a bark seat driver.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing Constrictor.
What happens when you wear a watch on a plane?
On a road trip, I was passing a sign that read “Rest Stop 1 Mile”.
It is probably the biggest rest stop ever.
Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?
Because the plane was overbooked.
What did the doctor say to the man who got sick at the airport?
It’s a terminal illness
Me: the Airline lost my luggage, so I tried to sue them.
Someone: Did you win?
Me: Unfortunately not, I lost the case.
I used to have some good airplane jokes.
But they just couldn’t get off the ground.
Van Life Jokes
What is the favorite painter of every vanlifer?
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What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A moooooving cow.
When do you know it is time to leave your parking?
When the shit hits the Van.
I am really not good at driving this thingy. I van the terrible.
I am sorry for what I said when we were trying to park the camper.
Your car is really fast. But does it have a kitchen and shower and bed and heating?
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How do you call a Digital Nomad without a Camper Van?
What is the van lifers favorite movies?
Not sure…could be either Spider-Van or Iron-Van.
What do you write with your finger on a dirty camper van?
I wish my girlfriend was as dirty!
What does the van lifer say to the police officer?
Catch me if you van.
What is the van lifers favorite song?
I saw a a camper van parked down the road with a bumper sticker. The sticker said “I miss New York City”
So I smashed his window in and stole his brand new radio.
A camper van is the only home that has no low maintenance, but lawn maintenance…
The world has changed:
Living in a van in the 90s: So Sad!
Living in a van in 2020s: Best Lifestyle Ever!
Living the life on the Veg.
My life is Van-Tastic!
My life is Vanderful!
What software does a van life influencer?
Adobe Camper Effects.
What is the most common question of the young van life?
Van do we arrive?
What does the van life husband say to his wife after getting in trouble?
We van work it out.
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Road Trip Jokes for Kids
Where do math teachers go on vacation?
What do you call a fish with no eyes? (spell it out)
Which country has the most germs?
What has a nose but can’t smell?
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
What does the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?
Nothing, it just waves.
What did one volcano say to the other volcano?
I lava you!
Dirty Road Trip Jokes
A penguin was taking a summer road trip in the American Southwest when his car broke down. He got a tow to the nearest shop.
The mechanic in the shop: “It will take an hour to check his car”.
The penguin waddled across the street to an ice cream shop and ordered a vanilla cone, which he made a huge mess of, because flippers. After an hour had passed he waddled back to the auto shop.
Mechanic: “It looks like you blew a seal”.
Penguin: “No, it’s just ice cream”.
What did Kurt yell, when Nirvana went on a road trip?
What is the main difference between BMWs and Porcupines?
Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.
Three friends are on a road trip and stop at a hotel for the night. The receptionist tells them there is only 1 room with 1 bed available.
The guys are exhausted and just decide to share the bed. In the morning, the one who slept on the left side of the bed says “I just had the best dream last night, a hot girl was giving me a hand job and it felt so real”. The one who slept on the right side says “That’s weird, I had a similar dream.”. They both turn to the friend who slept in the middle. “What about you?”
Third friend: “Nope, I had a dream that I was skiing in the Alps”
Why are amputees so good at road trips?
They are always on the last leg.
Camper Women do not have a camel toe, but a camper toe.
I hope you found some entertainment for your own planned trips. If you cannot travel because you are stuck at home, no worries, no need to get bored here either. I collected the funniest lockdown jokes here.
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