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Funny Famous quotes
Who knew famous people can also be funny? We didn’t think so too! But oh, well, they can be. Perhaps their fame also came from the fact that they can shoot humor to please the people around them and make them laugh wholeheartedly. Read these funny quotes as well and laugh out loud.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Don’t be stupid,
it might make you famous.
A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt:
Long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
If I could be a bird, I’d be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
You can only be young once.
But you can always be immature.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want,
drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy.
I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?
Read: More fun with our ultimately happy quotes to make your day
My formula for success is to rise early, work late, and strike oil.
J. P. Getty
To succeed in life, you need three things:
a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.
Man cannot live by bread alone;
He must have peanut butter.
James A. Garfield
It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.
I am so clever that sometimes,
I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
I have always been a huge admirer of my own work.
I’m one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
I lie to myself all the time.
But I never believe me.
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
Famous Witty Quotes
I went for years not finishing anything.
Because, of course, when you finish something you can be judged.
I don’t believe in an afterlife, so I don’t have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more.
For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse.
A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous, and liberal man.
Cyrano de Bergerac
Everything that happens once can never happen again.
But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.
A. A. Milne
You can pretend to be serious,
but you can’t pretend to be witty.
If you fight angry, you make a lot of mistakes, and when you fight a sharp,
a witty fighter like me, you can’t make mistakes.
Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.
When it comes to the past,
everyone writes fiction.
There is an element of seduction in shoes that doesn’t exist for men.
A woman can be sexy, charming, witty, or shy with her shoes.
People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct.
I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk.
Usually, when people see me,
they see me as more of the soft-spoken one rather than being the witty, smart-tongued character.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries,
is not ‘Eureka!’ but ‘That’s funny…’
People who can’t be witty exert themselves to be devout and affectionate.
Almost anyone can be an author;
the business is to collect money and fame from this state of being.
Read: Funny business jokes to share with your boss and friends
The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life.
Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.
Anger makes dull men witty,
but it keeps them poor.
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look,
it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday.
I don’t like to see people making fun of the animals when it should be the other way around.
On the whole, human beings want to be good,
but not too good, and not quite all the time.
Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it,
and wiser than the one that comes after it.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.
The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
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Funny Quotes about Wisdom
Do you need wisdom today? I sure do, that’s every day. We have absolutely awesome and ultimately funny jokes here for you on wisdom. Check them out and we don’t know, you may have the best laugh of your laugh today.
Read: Test your wits with challenging and hard riddles for adults
If what you’ve done is stupid but works,
then it really isn’t that stupid at all.
If you can’t get a compliment any other way,
pay yourself one.
I’m gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year,
then when it arrives I’ll say I ordered this last year.
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
If you don’t succeed at first,
hide all evidence that you tried.
The only stupid question is the one that goes unasked.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
If I’d observed all the rules, I’d never have got anywhere.
Never play poker with the world’s fastest animal,
because he’s a cheetah.
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
The only normal people are the ones that you don’t know very well.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
It’s up to you to be the navigator.
What soap is to the body,
laughter is to the soul.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
If you want to leave footprints in the sands of time,
don’t drag your feet.
It’s so simple to be wise.
Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
The harder you fall, the higher you bounce.
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
When one is at home, he dreams of adventure.
When one is on an adventure, he dreams of home.
Summary on Funny Quotes from Famous People
Although this is the end of our list of funny quotes from famous people, this isn’t the end for your laughter. We have so many more jokes you can read on and share with your friends. We don’t stop here because we don’t do things half-heartedly. So, check them out, share them with family and friends, and laugh to your heart’s content!
Don’t think that we’re done with you, we have so many other quotes for you to check. We don’t want to leave you panting for more. We also have happy quotes to make you laugh if that’s what you want.
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