Washington DC is a really intriguing and inspirational site to visit, and it is well worth your time. You will find it to be interesting, full of culture and life, and there is never a lack of activities to keep you occupied in your spare time. It was established by George Washington on July 16, 1790, and serves as the nation’s capital. The district was intended to serve as the nation’s capital, and Congress set the borders for it.
We all know that Washington DC is a hilarious city. But did you know that? Its citizens like making light of their hometown and the people that live there by telling jokes about them. You will discover some of the funniest jokes about Washington DC which everyone will love.
We share with you:
Washington DC Dad Jokes
Washington has such a delightfully distinct culture that you can’t help but giggle at some of the peculiarities when you’re there on a visit. Take a peek at these amusing Washington DC dad jokes to keep you entertained.
How do you know when it’s really cold in Washington DC?
Politicians put their hands in their own pockets.
Washington DC should name their football team the Lobbyists.
They never lose.
Laugh more: Funny Football Jokes
My friend didn’t believe me that Slash was in AC/DC
C’mon he is right there in the middle.
What is the #1 drink in Washington, DC this week?
A Peach Mint Julep.
Why are there no vegan DC heroes?
Because they are afraid of rotten tomatoes.
Laugh more: Funny Tomato Jokes
What is the difference between AC and DC?
AC Hertz more.
What have Britain and Warner Brothers/DC got in common?
Neither of them know how to handle an EU.
Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?
Because he was hydra-phobic.
Laugh more: Funny Shark Jokes
Why did the “Ringling Bros.” Circus finally go out of business?
They couldn’t compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.
Its so cold in Washington DC
I actually saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Washington DC One-Liners
With this collection of Washington DC one liners, you’ll be inspired to plan your next vacation there in no time.
Two minutes in Washington DC and I’m already convinced I should run for president.
Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country
Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
Laugh more: Funny Cheese Jokes
Everything in this city is a clue according to National Treasure.
Even though it’s almost completely white, this place inspires the red-white-and-blue.
Making memories and seeing all the monuments.
Washington monuments might not look strong, but it can make a strong statement.
If you want to fell in love with Washington, you just have to come here once.
Today’s forecast: 100 percent chance of museum tours, sightseeing, and cherry blossoms.
I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.
Outside of the ki*lings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
In Washington, DC, politics dominate even the most casual conversations.
Every man’s happiness is his own responsibility.
Never stop believing that fighting for what’s right is worth it.
Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don’t vote.
Washington State Puns
These Washington DC puns are excellent for anyone seeking for Washington DC Instagram captions! Take a peek around and enjoy yourself.
I recently visited Washington state for the first time.
Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived!
Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte.
I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle.
Laugh more: Funny Coffee Jokes
What’s a washing machine’s favorite state to live in?
Washington.
The real reason Washington state passed Gay-marriage and recreational marijuana use.
Because the bible says when two men lie together, they should be stoned.
Why can’t you compare Washington State and Florida?
Because it’d be like comparing apples and oranges.
Laugh more: Funny Florida Jokes
Funny Congress Jokes
No matter which side of the aisle you happen to be on, these congress jokes will have you laughing all the way down the hall. Choose from a variety of congress jokes to get a good chuckle!
The United States Congress has a new sign hanging in the hallway.
It reads “Not responsible for lost or stolen Articles”
Why did Trump push for Congress to change the national bird after seeing one get sick in a zoo?
He hates ill eagles.
What’s the difference between congress and a circus?
One is a Cunning array of Stunts…
Laugh more: Funny Clown Jokes
I learned the other day that a group of baboons is called a Congress.
I found it extremely insulting to the hard work and productivity of baboons.
Why will Congress never impeach Hillary Clinton?
Because she didn’t win the election.
People say congress is in a stalemate, but that isn’t true.
In order for a stalemate you need black pieces.
TIL you need an Act of Congress to move some pieces of furniture in the White House.
Approving new Cabinet positions is such a drag.
What bill is the Congress’s favorite?
Of course the $ bill!
Laugh more: Funny Money Jokes
Suppose you are an idiot and suppose you are a Member of Congress?
But… I repeat myself
What starts with Co-, ends with -s, and has been a real scourge to the USA lately?
Congress.
Daddy, can we go see the clowns again?
For the last time, Billy, we are not visiting congress again.
What do you call a Soviet congress?
Commie con.
I wish our Congress was made up of vending machines.
So they would accept change.
Why does congress have as much meat as Arbys?
Because something’s really fishy with all these turkeys playing chicken in a beef over pork.
Why don’t horses get elected to congress?
Because they are naysayers.
Yesterday, both houses of Congress met to debate legalizing marijuana.
It was a joint session.
What did Congress say to George Washington with bad breath after he said: “I need some money”?
You need a mint.
Some protestors are breaking into congress.
I hear it is a capitol offense.
Why will the congress never impeach Donald Trump?
Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
What should we do with people who rely on government handouts, but refuse to work?
Kick them out of Congress.
What’s the difference between an old vending machine and congress?
One accepts change but not dollars, the other accepts dollars but not change.
What does Congress do when they lose a game of CSGO?
They blame the Russians.
How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them.
What do you call a group of forgetful congressmen?
An oversight committee.
Washington DC Instagram Captions
Washington DC is one of the most gorgeous cities in the world, and with so many fantastic sites to explore, it’s no surprise that so many Instagrammers like visiting this incredible city. Here are some captions you can use.
But first, let’s go sightseeing in Washington D.C.
Feeling pretty presidential in Washington D.C.
Washington D.C. is always a good idea.
Just a girl who decided to go for it.
Don’t be shocked when your history book mentions me.
Living my best Washington DC life.
Kind of a big deal in Washington DC.
Following the blossoms in Washington DC.
Feeling pretty presidential in Washington DC.
Two minutes in Washington D.C. and I’m already convinced I should run for president.
A woman’s place is in the house. The White House.
Washington DC is 12 square miles bordered by reality.
I am DC.
DC Statehood.
Meet me in D.C.
Follow me to DC.
The Nation’s capital.
Made in Washington DC.
Strolling down Penn Avenue.
Welcome to Washington DC.
Washington DC is my therapy.
Follow me to the Lincoln Memorial.
I came, I saw, I fell in love with Washington D.C.
So many lies are covered up.
Sending my selfie to the Smithsonian, because I’m a star.
Washington is a unique place with a long history.
In Washington, the main language is government language.
George Washington Jokes
For the sake of celebrating George Washington’s sense of humour, we’ve put up a list of George Washington jokes. Have some fun.
In what way was George Washington like a monster?
In no way, thankfully!
Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
Because he couldn’t lie.
Was General Washington a handsome man?
Yes, he was George-eous!
What did George Washington say to his men before they stepped into the boat?
Men, step in the boat.
What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantry!
Laugh more: Funny Tree Jokes
What would you get if you crossed a whale with the first US president?
Large Washington!
What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?
George Washingtoon.
When did George Washington die?
Just before they buried him.
Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
At the chopping mall!
Peanuts are great and all, but do you know what George Washington Carver SHOULD have been famous for?
Mount Rushmore.
What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?
Presidentures.
What is George Washington’s favorite animal?
A buck.
Laugh more: Funny Animal Jokes
Where did George Washington get his hatchet?
The chopping mall.
What would George Washington do if he were alive today?
Scream and scratch his coffin.
Where did George Washington keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
What is the tallest building in Washington, DC?
The Library of Congress because it has so many stories.
If you could put the entire DMV on a scale, what would it weigh?
A Washing-TON.
What kind of toast do they serve on Air Force One?
Plane toast.
Laugh more: Funny Police Jokes
Why did the secret service bring a herd of cows to the White House?
They were trying to beef up security.
Why was George Washington always tired?
He never slept because he couldn’t lie.
What was George Washington’s spirit animal?
A buck.
If Abe Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for?
Being really, really old!
What do you call the 16th President after a Staring Contest?
Abe Blinkin.
Why did the Washington Nationals hire a baker?
They needed a new batter.
What animals likes to hang out at Nationals Park?
Bats.
George Washington Puns
Of course, we also have George Washington Puns that we have put together for your enjoyment. Have some fun with your friends and enjoy.
I was named after George Washington.
He was named in 1732 and I was named in 1992.
They tortured George Washington after he died.
They had him drawn and quartered.
I made a post on TIL about George Washington,
it got removed because it was “too General”.
The guy who made this was a George Washington Carver.
George Washington is the only president to not blame the previous administration for his problems.
I was named after George Washington,
My name isn’t the same as his I was just named after he was.
George Washington is the only president to have been drawn and quartered.
District Of Columbia Jokes
No matter whether you’re taking a photo of the White House or yourself visiting one of the city’s many lovely parks, these jokes will assist you in capturing the essence of Washington DC. Take a look at our District of Columbia Jokes.
No historian has ever found the remainder of the cherry tree George Washington chopped down
They’re stumped.
Laugh more: Funny Plant Jokes
What did George Washington say to his reinforcements?
You musket down here.
George Washington predicted that one day, a dollar bill will bear his likeness.
In that regard, he was on the money.
Laugh more: Funny Finance Jokes
Summary
That’s all there is to it! If you loved reading these incredible Washington DC jokes and laughed a lot at all of the Washington DC puns and humorous Washington DC Instagram captions, we have more jokes for you!
You may also check more jokes here:
- Chicago Jokes
- Alaska Jokes
- American Jokes
- New York Jokes
- Alabama Jokes
- California Jokes
- Paris Jokes
- Canadian Jokes
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