Something is in the air and we don’t like it. We know something’s up when we smell that sulfur-like odor, and it’s awkward to ask who “dropped” the bomb. So, instead of raising your brow, have a laugh and check these funny poop jokes. Kids will surely love it!
Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. We can’t even get enough of the poop emoji because it’s disgustingly cute. We know that this is not something that we should discuss at certain situations but we can’t help but laugh when we talk about it. On that note…you will love as well those butt bum jokes.
It’s funny just saying it. “Poop”. The kid in us just giggles when the thing crosses our minds. Now, we aim to connect you to the kid inside you by compiling these lists of the nastiest and smelliest dirty poop jokes.
For more laughs, check our What Do You Call Jokes for Kids. Surely, kids will love it.
Funny Pooping Jokes
Everyone has an embarrassingly funny experience with poop. We know it’s not funny when you’re in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget won’t flush, or you’re holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when you’re past that, it’s nothing but funny, and what’s more funny are the jokes we listed for you. You can deny farting all you want but you know you can’t resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to another?
“I’m feeling really wiped.”
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
To look for Pooh!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful.
What did the bottle of conditioner do to the toilet?
Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes?
Everyone told her that they stink.
Why does Piglet always smell bad?
Because he plays with Pooh.
Love is like a fart.
If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
What’s the definition of surprise?
A fart with a lump in it.
Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the “p” is silent.
When is the best time to go to the restroom?
Poop Puns One Liners
When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someone’s appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. We know it’s funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but don’t. Use these one liners at your own risk. Check out this list and pick our your favorites.
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your genes.
Laughter is the best medicine.
Unless you have diarrhea…
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
When a dinosaur farts, it is a blast from the past.
What’s big and brown and behind the wall?
I was going to tell you a poop joke but it’s really crappy.
Deal with shit one day at a time.
What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Why didn’t the Tenth Doctor like potty training as a kid?
He didn’t want to go.
When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able.
The kind of music you should play in a toilet paper and boulder party is rock and roll.
When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop.
The volcano exploded because it couldn’t find a lava-tory.
A private tutor is a person who never farts in public.
Ninja farts are silent but extremely deadly.
Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. Parents are clueless on what to do with their little ones but we got you. Here are some bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath time.
Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom?
Because it’s also called a restroom!
Why couldn’t the police officers find the toilet thief?
Because they had nothing to go on!
Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet?
Because it’s his doody!
Why can you never hear a pterodactyl using the toilet?
Because the P is silent!
Where do bees go to the bathroom?
At the BP petrol station!
What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet?
Why did the baby put quarters in its diaper?
It needed to be changed!
What happens if you fall into the toilet?
Well, you either stink or swim!
What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom?
You let it finish!
If you’re an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom?
What is the toilet’s favorite sport?
What does superman call his toilet?
Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in the crack!
Why were there candles on a toilet seat?
Because there was a surprise birthday potty!
What do you call a dog that you find in your bathroom?
Read: More funny jokes about animals
When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet?
When it has a leek in it!
Where do sheep like to play?
In the baaa-throom.
What do octopuses do after using the toilet?
They wash their hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands.
How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell?
Just a phew!
Why are elephants constantly in the bathroom?
Because they eat way too many peanuts.
If there’s one seat that everyone sits on, it’s the toilet. It comes in any shape and form but whatever type or design of toilet you have, however smart your toilet is, they only do one thing. It’s to take your dump and it doesn’t discriminate, young and old, whatever gender you are, and just like our favorite seat, these toilet puns are for everyone to sit on and enjoy.
I ran out of toilet paper, so I used newspaper instead…
The Times are rough.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
I’m stuck on the toilet!
Call the squat team.
How do you align a toilet?
Keep it flush with the wall.
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite…
But they’re a solid number 2.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of shit.
Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night.
Cops have nothing to go on.
It’s a pain having to deal with constipation. It’s not a pleasant feeling in the stomach and if you find yourself sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to drop then at least get loose to these jokes about pooping instead. We know you can’t.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
Did you hear about the constipated composer?
He didn’t finish the last movement
Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation?
Son: No, not yet.
Dad: It hasn’t come out yet
How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea?
Process of Elimination.
Constipation is a difficult word to say.
I have a hard time getting it out.
Diarrhea can drain you your energy and it’s no fun at all. Dealing with it is very difficult and irritating. Luckily, it isn’t something that can stop your day. An easy pill can do the job. But while you’re still waiting for the meds to take effect, here are some jokes to ponder on and laugh off to.
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A salad shooter.
What do a man with diarrhea and an electric car owner have in common?
They both hope to make it home.
Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea.
That means one guy likes it.
Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited.
Runs in the family.
10 facts about Diarrhea.
#2 will surprise you!
What do you call it when a racehorse has diarrhea?
Did you hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea?
No? Funny, it’s all over town.
I once had a case of diarrhea.
Airport security wouldn’t let it through.
My love for you is like diarrhea.
I can’t hold it in.
What do you call diarrhea that you get from Dominos?
A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke.
He couldn’t hold it in.
The other day I called in sick with diarrhea.
My boss told me to get it together.
I would hate to see a diarrhea outbreak.
Everyone’s gonna take all the nasal spray from every store.
Did you know a banana is really good against diarrhea?
I don’t really like how you can feel it move though.
Fart jokes and toilet humor are things that are loved by kids. We don’t judge them. Kids are weird. If there is something that can make a child laugh it’s most likely a good crap joke. Here are some funnies you can share with kids.
What does Superman call his bathroom?
The Super bowl.
I like toilets for two reasons.
Number 1 and number 2
What do you call a fairy in the bathroom?
What do women and toilet paper have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
No? So you’re the one!
What do you call a bathroom superhero?
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
Poop Jokes For 5 Year Olds
What’s hard about parenting is having to connect to your child. It’s difficult for some people to relate to what kids are into these days. We try to find out what kids love. And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. Here are some “clean” poop jokes for kids.
What did one toilet bowl say to another toilet bowl?
You’re looking flushed.
Why do doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea?
Because one guy likes it.
What’s the similarity between poop and talent?
Both will come out when it’s time for them to come out.
What are kings’ farts called?
A noble gas.
Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party?
She was a party pooper.
If pooping is a call of nature.
Is farting a missed call?
What’s something great about poop jokes?
They’ll make your cheeks hurt.
Ready for a poop joke?
Nope, they stink.
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite jokes.
But they’re a solid #2.
I actually like poop jokes.
I think they’re the shit.
I just hate when they’re too corny or run on.
What do you call a magical poop?
What did the poop say to the fart?
You blow me away.
I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday.
Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever.
Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet?
It wasn’t his doodie.
Poop Jokes For 4 Year Olds
Jokes are funny when you understand them. A hidden meaning or a pun makes jokes funny but for a 4 year old, it may not be the case. You might get the “I don’t get it” from your kids. So we have listed clean, funny and easy-to-get jokes about poop that your 4 year olds can relate to.
What is something you never appreciate until it’s gone?
What do a clown’s farts smell like?
They smell funny.
When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called?
Dereliction of doodie.
Why did the baker’s hands stink?
He kneaded a poo.
Why did the toilet seat cry?
She got dumped.
Why are there no bathrooms in some banks?
Because not all banks accept deposits.
Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary.
It runs in your jeans.
Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
What’s the best snack for watching a movie that sucks?
Read: Funny food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious!
Children are like farts.
Your own are just about bearable, but everyone else’s are horrendous.
Is diarrhea genetic?
No, but it does run in your jeans.
What did the Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes?
Stop making me laugh or I’ll puma pants!
Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He just couldn’t budget.
Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea?
It leaked so they had to release it early.
What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls?
Did you hear about the constipated movie?
It never came out.
Knock Knock Poop Jokes
Kids love knock knock jokes. The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word “who” excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. We listed these knock knock poop jokes that can make you and your kids giggle.
Haha, you just said poo-poo!
This one is just childish.
School your ass.
Extra: Dog Poop Jokes
More shit jokes? We still have more! These dog poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to share it to make the kids smile even more.
I couldn’t tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of shit.
Son, when you walk the dog you have to pick up its poop.
It’s your doo diligence!
I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop.
I guess you could say it’s a pet peeve.
What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop?
Doing their doodie.
What do you call prank plastic dog poop.
So my new dog doesn’t like to poop in the grass…
She only poops in the garden under the plants so we call her Poopie Plants!
If a dog goes to poop,
is it a bow-wowel movement?
Summary: FUNNY Poop Jokes
These funny poop jokes will make you giggle in so many levels. A joke does not have to be long, to be funny. We also collected the absolute best funny jokes of all time. Besides this, we highly recommend to check out my 30 favorite dad jokes.
Are you looking for more? We definitely have more for you. We hope you enjoyed all these funny jokes because we sure did! Here are more jokes that you didn’t know you need in your life but you do.
We collected as well: