49+ Epic & Funniest Pirate Jokes you can share with Captain Hook (if you daaarrrrre)

49 Funny Pirate Jokes you can share with Captain Hook (if you daaarrrrre)

Do not fear, my pirate friend! Captain Hook will laugh out loud with these wicked pirate jokes. Share them over beer, BBQs, and smores. Don’t let the moments pass without giving them some pirate jokes and puns that would leave them rolling on the floor laughing.

Check out the categories you like and make sure to share them with your friends as well. Don’t bottle the fun! The pirate jokes are best served in big family dinners or beer pong nights with friends. We don’t settle for just a smile, we always go for the goofy, almost out of this world belly laughter as much as we can!

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(Read also my favorite dad jokes of all time. For families with children, I wrote up all my favorite jokes for kids.

Even better: We have summed up the 69 MOST DIRTY Jokes for Adults (seriously not for kids)

Super funny Pirate Dad Jokes

Who loves pirate jokes than the dads on the dining table or basically on whatever occasion they can insert that pirate jokes! They can’t just don’t let anything pass them. They want to let that pirate jokes out!

Read: 30 best Dad Jokes ever

What’s the best name for a pirate dog?


Funny dad pirate jokes

Dad, what is a pirate’s least favorite vegetable?


Where did Bluebeard the pirate get his name?

One day, the sea the wind came and blew his beard right off!

What’s a pirate’s favorite fish?

A goldfish

Laugh out loud with our funny fish puns and jokes

cheesy funny pirate dad jokes

How did the pirate know his parrot was in love with a duck?

The parrot said, “Polly wanna Quacker.”

Laugh more here: Funny Parrot Jokes

What did the ocean say to the pirate?

Nothing, it just waved.

Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

Why can’t you take a picture of a pirate with a wooden leg?
Because a wooden leg can’t take pictures!

very funny pirate jokes

Obscure Pirate Jokes

We go for the puns and we go for the obscure pirate jokes because who can blame us, really? There’s nothing better than jokes than punny jokes! Get on with it, share the pun!

Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck!

Tyler: How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

Ryan: A buccaneer.

What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise?

The plank!

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man with an eyepatch running around and waving his arms wildly.

“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”

“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

funny obscure pirate jokes

What do you call a pirate who skips class?

Captain Hooky!

A book has never written: “Pirate Treasure” 

Barry Moore.

What kind of grades does a pirate get in school?

High seas!

Max: What did one pirate say to the other?

Ben: What?

Max: “I sea you!”

What was the name of the most frugal pirate?

Barry D. Treasure!

funny pirate jokes

Pirate Puns Dirty

Who loves good old pirate pun jokes? Everyone! Take a look at these wickedly punny pirate jokes.

Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?

A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

How much is a pirate willing to pay to get his ears pierced?

A buck an ear!

Q: Why is pirating so addictive?

A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!

Where Dose Pirates Shop.


Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?

A: 8 pirates.

Why are pirates so eco-friendly?

They always follow the three arrrrrrrs.

“I’m just a love pirate lookin’ for some booty.”

You must be a pirate because you can swash my buckle any day.

Are you a pirate because I’m wondering where you got that booty.

That pirate outfit looks really hot on you. Wanna search me for buried treasure?

Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful

Q: How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?

A: An arm and a leg.

funny pirate jokes and puns

Pirate Jokes on Reddit

Reddit is home to unlimited ideas, pirate jokes included. It’s just a trove of treasures that you don’t expect you need in your life. Check Reddit the next time you bored.

What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of food?


What's a pirate's favorite kind of food? BARRRR-B-Q!

Why do pirates with hooks never help out?

It’s hard for them to lend a hand

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years stuck at C.

Why are so many pirates, existentialist philosophers?

They just ARRRRRRR!

How do pirates get around when they get older?

With Davy Jones Walker

Why did the pirate go to the gym?

He heard you could upgrade your booty and improve your chest

A pirate walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder

The Bartender says:

“You know, two days ago I saw a pirate with a cow on his shoulder?”

funny pirate jokes reddit


The next time you want to get a good laugh, you know where to go. There’s only Jokesfactory.com for you! Our aim is to give you one big fun every day.

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I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not! Here, have a carrot!