83 FUNNY Cowboy Jokes from the Wild West!

Are you fascinated to cowboys like we do? Cowboys are famous for tending animals and riding their horse or bull even! Their western lifestyle is quite interesting. I can say that they really have a reputation when it comes to being a bad boy but it doesn’t mean that they are. Being a cowboy is actually fun that’s why maybe there are plenty of cowboy jokes to go around. Check out our collection for your amusement.

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Funny Cowboy Jokes

Howdy, partner! Would you believe if I tell you that there’s a lot more to cowboys than boots and spurs? They definitely have a very good sense of humor. Have a look to our funny cowboys jokes that you can share to your friends.


Which kind of dinosaur can be found at a rodeo?
A bronco-saurus!


What do you call a really happy cowboy?
A jolly rancher!

What do you call a really happy cowboy


What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex!


Why did everybody think the cowboy was so funny?
Because he was always horsing around!


What do cowboys put on their salads?
Ranch dressing!


What did the cowboy say to the artist?
Draw!


How did the cowboy save so much money?
His horse gave him a couple of bucks every day!


Why did the bow-legged cowboy lose his job?
He couldn’t keep his calves together!


Where do cowboys cook their beans?
On the range!

Where do cowboys cook their beans


Which Hollywood cowboy is the best at starting campfires?
Flint Eastwood!


What did the cowboy say to the old man when he accused him of trumping?
Darn Tootin’!


How did the cowboy set fire to his chaps?
He was riding on the range!


Which is a cowboy’s favourite soccer team?
Spurs!


What do you call a cowboy who teaches acting and singing?
A stage coach!


Why can’t cowboys ever get the right answer in math class?
Because they’re always rounding things up!


Which Hollywood cowboy is always broke?
Skint Eastwood!

Which Hollywood cowboy is always broke - cowboy jokes


Funny Cowboy Puns

Looking for something that will keep the family amused? You are totally on the right place. Enjoy the a-moooooo-zing plays on words with our funny cowboy puns.


What’s the time when your cow sits on your cowboy hat?
Time to get a new cowboy hat!


What does it mean when a cowboy finds a horseshoe?
His horse is walking around in his socks!


What did the young cowboy say when his dog went missing?
Doggone!


Where did the cowboy drive his cattle to?
Moo York!


How do cowboys keep their cattle keep quiet?
Press the moooote button!

How do cowboys keep their cattle keep quiet - cowboy jokes


What illness can cowboys catch from their horses?
Bronc-itis!


Why do cowboys always ride horses?
Because they’re far too heavy to carry!


What do cowboys tell their cows after an argument?
Turn the udder cheek and moooove on!


How did the cowboy know his cattle were following him without even looking?
He herd them!


Where do cowboys take their herd for lunch?
To the calf-eteria!


How do cowboys keep their cattle relaxed?
By playing them some calming moooosic!


Two cowboys are stranded in the desert…

One cowboy sees a tree covered in bacon in the distance. He gets all excited and runs towards the bacon tree… As he reaches the bacon tree he gets shot to death. It turns out it wasn’t a bacon tree… It was a hambush!


Cowboy One Liners and Flirty Cowboy Jokes

These short dirty cowboy jokes and one liners are something that you might want to check out. Impress some girls and make a lady smile with this collection.


A cowboy walks into an expensive car showroom and says, “Audi!”

A cowboy walks into an expensive car showroom and says, “Audi!”


The cowboy still has nightmares about the worst job he ever had in a record factory making country music records: Howdy pressing!


I’m making a new cowboy film called “The Sun”: It’s set in the west!


A three-legged dog walked into the saloon and said, “I’m alookin’ fer the man what shot my paw!”


Did you hear about the cowboy who died with his boots on – he didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!


Come on now, ride your cowboy.


I know I usually work in the fields, but tonight, I could churn your butter.


Besides, the scenery would brighten considerably if you came along.


Would you and your friend like to get some team roping?


Don’t worry ladies that isn’t a pistol in my pocket.

Don't worry ladies that isn't a pistol in my pocket.


Hey baby I’ve got a living quarters trailer with a big bed in the front.


Hey missy, I wouldn’t mind throwin a lasso around your boots and a pullin you this a way.


Girl I know how to shove my hips, I do it for a living!


Baby, I may have ridden that bronco for 8 seconds, but I’ll last a helluva longer on you.


You know what they say about a man with a large belt buckle…


Funny Cowboy Hat Jokes

Did you know that a cowboy’s hat is also called a ten-gallon hat? It is called a ten-gallon hat because it is how much water it can carry. Interesting, right? This iconic hat is a staple for cowboys. Wear this iconic cowboy hat as you throw out these jokes.


Who wears a cowboy hat, black leather jacket with studs, cowboy boots, a big silver belt buckle, and black lipstick?
-Goth Brooks


Why are cowboy hats curled on the sides?
So three of those assholes could sit in a truck.

Why are cowboy hats curled on the sides So three of those assholes could sit in a truck


A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon…
…He says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw”


I might have looked like Woody, but you must know that you’ve not just got a friend in me.


We can run away with my dark horse and live in our own paradise for the rest of our lives.


I am amazed that you are indeed a cowgirl as you already stolen of our hearts in this room.


I want to sing with the cactus and see your beauty shine across the desert, my dear cowgirl.


This golden sunshine makes your beauty become more radiant than ever, my beloved cowgirl.


We might be Bonnie and Clyde right now, but I just want to ride the horse with our little guns.


You can go with me to the dark places where the bandits lurk, and the cowboys laugh in vain.


Are you a cowboy because you can ride with me all night towards the end of our paradise?


You might want to spend the rest of this striking starry night with a handsome cowboy like me.

You might want to spend the rest of this striking starry night with a handsome cowboy like me.


I want to ride you like a restless horse and you should scream as I lashed you out of pleasure.


You can probably go with me to the west coast along with thousands of horses chasing us.


Knock Knock Cowboy Jokes

Still looking for more western jokes that you can share? Saddle up for some laughter with our knock knock cowboy jokes! Yeehaw!


Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Heywood.
Heywood?
Heywood you hand me that lasso?


Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Handsome.
Handsome who?
Handsome chili to me.


Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Handsome who?
Howey pardner.


Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans off my gold.

Hans off my gold


Dallas Cowboy Jokes

Are you a fan? Have a look at these jokes about the Dallas cowboys. You will have a good laugh with our collection of Dallas cowboy jokes.


What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
He turns off the PlayStation.


What is the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill?
A dollar bill is good for 4 quarters.


What’s the difference between a cry baby and Dallas Cowboys fans?
Eventually the baby stops crying.


What do the Dallas Cowboys and vaping have in common?
They both can’t beat a pack.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and vaping have in common


What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?
They can both make crowds of 100,000 stand up and yell Jesus.


What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Postal Service have in common?
Both, don’t deliver on Sundays.


How many Dallas Cowboys fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
They don’t. They just talk about when it did work.


Never by a blanket from the Dallas Cowboys secondary…
…they can’t cover anybody!


What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl?
Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.


Rooting for the Dallas Cowboys is the most authentic fan experience in sports.
Just like them, you too can watch the playoffs from the comfort of your couch at home.


What Do you call 20 Millionaires watching the Superbowl?
The Dallas Cowboys.


Bull Riding Jokes and Rodeo Puns

Bull riding is a rodeo sport that’s very popular because of the excitement it could bring. I mean it is really exciting but it is also extremely dangerous so don’t you mess up with this rodeo sport but don’t worry, you can always go crazy with our bull riding jokes. Check it out.


How do you kill a rodeo clown?
Go for the juggler!

How do you kill a rodeo clown


What do you call a rodeo bull with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.


What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex.


Do bulls have love handles?
No, they have rodeo grips.


What did the egg say to the rodeo clown?
You crack me up!


What do you call a retired cowboy?
De-ranged.


What does a cowboy eat before a rodeo?
Bullogna.

For more laughs, check our food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious!


What do you call a bull that fell asleep at the rodeo?
A bulldozer.

What do you call a bull that fell asleep at the rodeo


Drunk Cowboy Jokes

Have you ever experienced an awkward silence when you are in a bar with friends or with a date? Break the ice with a good joke from our collection of drunk cowboy jokes.


A cowboy enters a saloon and says to the bartender “Give me a drink for a real man!”

The bartender served him a shot of whisky, but the cowboy spits it out and yelling, “This stuff is for kids….give me something for a man!”

The bartender makes a mix of some of the most powerful stuff he had available, even adding some kerosene, hot sauce, and finishing with a .45 caliber bullet.

“Now THAT’s something good!” At that the cowboy payed for the drink and left.

A week later, the cowboy returns, “Give me another of those man drinks, but hold the bullet. Last week I throwed a fart and killed the horse”


Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire drinking and bragging about all the adventures they’ve had over the years.

The first cowboy says, “I’ve gotta be the toughest cowboy out there. Just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and killed 3 men and I single handedly wrestled that bull to the ground.”

The second cowboy says, “that’s nothing. About 2 weeks ago I found this huge rattlesnake, so I grabbed it by the neck, bit off it’s head, and drank the venom right from it, and I’m still here.”

The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the embers of the fire with his p***s.


A cowboy rides his horse into a small town. His throat is parched, so he ties his horse to a pole next to a bar and goes in for a drink. He comes out a few minutes later, and someone already stole his horse.

The people of the town are looking to see his reaction, they aren’t even discreet about it. He looks around at everyone and says loud and clear: “I will walk back into the bar to get myself another drink, and if I don’t see my horse right in front of the bar, I will have to do what I did in Texas a year ago after someone stole my horse. And trust me, I didn’t like what I had to do in Texas a year ago.”

After his confident speech, the man walked back into the bar. The townsfolk looked at each other in fear and got the horse back.

The cowboy finished his second drink and walked out of the bar, saddled the horse, but just before he left the bartender walked up to him and asked. “Hey, cowboy, we know that we got you your horse back, but do you mind telling us what you had to do a year ago in Texas?”

The cowboy looked at him with an iron gaze and responded: “I had to walk home.”


He takes a seat at the counter and notices an old cowboy next to him with his arms crossed staring blankly at a full bowl of meaty chili.

A few minutes go by and the young cowboy gets the courage to speak up “Sir, if you ain’t gonna eat that would you mind if I did?”

“It’s all yours friend.” Says the older cowboy.

The young man slides the bowl to himself and starts spooning the delicious chili into his mouth.

He gets near the bottom of the bowl and notices that there is a dead mouse in the chili.

He immediate throws up all the chili back into the bowl and looks over at the old cowboy next to him who says “Yeah that’s about as far as I got too.”


Summary: BEST Cowboy Jokes from the Wild West!

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Jimmy
I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not! Here, have a carrot!