Nothing is better than kicking back with some friends and a cold bottle of beer. Indeed, drinking too much is not good for you, but a few bottles won’t hurt! So, make your comrade laugh at the bar with our funny beer jokes.
Thanks to millennia-old libation, we get to enjoy these hilarious beer jokes. We’ve got you covered with the funniest puns and jokes about beer! These are perfect for you if you’re looking for jokes for your next happy hour, Instagram caption, or just a way to lighten the air.
If you wish to check out jokes about bars, we also have these funny bar jokes!
Funny Beer Jokes
Cold beer is such a delight after a long day. It is such a treat for adults like us! I love beers, but some find their taste icky. These hilarious jokes about beer will surely get rid of that unpleasant taste. Have fun reading our list!
I’m a beer enthusiast.
The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.
One beer, two beer, three beer, four.
Then I hit the floor.
What do you never say when pulled over by a policeman?
Sure, let me grab my license. Can you just hold my beer for a second?
Give a man a beer, and he wastes an hour.
Teach a man how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.
A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says:
Give me five beers.
Did you know if you say beer can with an English accent, it comes out as bacon in a Jamaican accent?
Go on, try it.
What did the bottle write on the postcard?
I wish you were beer!
What does a skeleton order at a bar?
A beer and a mop.
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When my friend fell asleep at the bar, I poured ale at him.
It was a brewed awakening.
What is the definition of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks:
How much for a beer?
The bartender replies:
For you? No charge!
You can’t find happiness at the bottom of a beer.
Obviously, who is happy when their beer runs out?
I fear my last words will be:
Hold my beer and watch this.
Never look at your beer as half empty.
Look at it as halfway to your next beer.
Remember, it’s only a beer commercial.
That kind of happiness may not be attainable.
Funny Beer Jokes Puns
Here is our list of beer puns that I’m sure are relatable and funny. If you are trying to impress your friends, this list of jokes will do the trick!
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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Wish you were beer.
The Schlitz on her belly is where the doctors cut during the C-section.
I am a real oldy badass for Amarilloldy.
Beer a good friend to your younger brother.
That must beer an amazing experience!
To beer a master, you will need to practice for 1,000 hours.
I am Tuborg to go on reading such a lengthy expose.
I love you beerly.
Is that the yeast you can do?
I will take her words with a grain of salt.
Wheat a second, is that Rebecca?
The thing could barley fit in.
I had to take some Pils to help me sleep.
Beer Jokes One Liner
On your next night out with your friends, sharing these beer jokes one-liner will make you the group’s clown. Make sure to get some of these hilarious jokes to crack around.
If God hadn’t intended us to drink beer, he wouldn’t have given us stomachs.
To beer or not to beer, that is the question.
IPA a lot when I drink beer.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Poems are hard. Beer!
In heaven, there is no beer, which is why we drink it here.
Beer and life are best enjoyed the same way.
Spilling a beer is the adult equivalent of losing a balloon.
Beer doesn’t have many vitamins, that’s why you have to drink lots of it.
Spilling a beer is the adult equivalent of a kid dropping an ice cream.
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Life is just a little bit more honest after half a dozen beers.
If at first, you don’t succeed, it’s not a twist-top, use a bottle opener.
Friends bring happiness into your life.
Best friends, bring beer.
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If you don’t drink beer, how will your friends know you love them at 2 am?
Sign outside a bar: “Buy one beer for the price of two and get your second beer absolutely free.
Beer is never the answer.
Beer is the question, and Yes is the answer.
My man cave has an open door policy.
Bring the beer, and I’ll open the door.
Some people see the glass as half empty.
Some see it as half full.
I just wonder who in the hell is drinking my beer.
Funny how drinking eight glasses of water a day seems impossible, but eight beers go down quicker than an elephant on a see-saw.
San Miguel Beer Jokes
Drinking too much beer is bad for your health. On the other hand, these jokes about alcohol are healthy for your mental health. So tap in and enjoy as you read these humorous jokes.
With the second lockdown looming, I saw a man purchase 3 crates of San Miguel, 2 bottles of tequila, 6 bags of paella, and a sombrero.
I think hispanic buying.
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One day my father asked me while drinking beer, “Miguel, do you think I’m a bad father?”
“My name is John,” I said.
San Miguel beer gives me a reason to wake up every afternoon.
Craft Beer Jokes
These craft beer jokes are just perfect for beer lovers out there! Check it out before it is gone. You’ll never know, you might love it.
How do you know if someone likes craft beer?
Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
What a vine day to drink craft beer.
Craft beer. It isn’t alcoholism. It’s a hobby.
What the ale is this, a craft beer?
This craft beer tastes like I am going to call you later.
This craft beer tastes like I’m not going to work tomorrow.
Birthday Beer Jokes
If you have a birthday party coming up, these birthday beer jokes are just what you need! Before you get drunk, you better scroll through our compilation of birthday beer jokes.
What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
What did the beer sing on the beach?
Don’t worry. Be happy.
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Beer is made from hops.
Hop is a plant. Beer=salad.
Hey bartender, I need a beer.
I’ve got way too much blood in my alcohol system.
Life and beer are very similar.
Chill for best results.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
What do you call a Jewish beer?
Stop trying to make everyone happy.
You’re not beer.
Funny Quotes About Beer
Are you looking for quotes for your Instagram caption? Well, I guess you are on the right page because we’ve got these funny quotes about beer that will make your Instagram profile much more entertaining!
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Trust me, you can dance. – Beer
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!― Martin Luther
And … and what is civilisation if it isn’t people talking to each other over a goddamned beer? ― James S.A. Corey
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. ― David Daye
Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer. ― Tom Robbins
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer. ― Abraham Lincoln
Beer is made by men, wine by God. ― Martin Luther
Sometimes people drink beer because they are lonely or sad, but that can’t help you with your problems. You need good jokes! Check out these amusing jokes about drinking that will make your day much more enjoyable.
A bishop walks into a bar and walks straight up to the bartender.
The bartender says, “You can’t do that. Bishops can only move diagonally.”
A guy walks into a bar and yells, “All lawyers are assholes.”
The man at the end of the bar says, “I object to that remark.”
The guy responds, “Why? Are you a lawyer?”
“No, I’m an asshole,” says the man.
You shouldn’t drink beer every day.
That’s why I only drink at night.
Why should you never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive.
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If you’re an alcoholic person, then I’m sure you’ll like our lists of alcoholic jokes. Prepare to laugh and chuckle as you read these hilarious jokes.
What do a law student and a recovering alcoholic have in common?
They both have to pass the bar.
The son went to his dad and asked him, “Dad, what’s an alcoholic?”
So the dad replied, “Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight.”
The son replied, “But Dad, I only see two.”
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?
My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol.
He doesn’t drink, it’s just that he’s really bad at crossword puzzles.
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I don’t drink alcohol for religious reasons.
I drink it for other reasons.
I bought an alcoholic ginger beer.
He wasn’t happy.
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.
Cheesy and Dirty Beer Jokes
Guy: “I could never live without you.” Girlfriend, “Is that you or the beer talking.”
Guy: “It’s me talking to the beer.”
Girl to BFF, “I want him to look at me the way he looks at his first beer.”
Sitting beside my girlfriend I said, “I love you.”
She said, “Is that you or the beer talking?”
I said, “It’s me talking to the beer.”
Why did Mexicans create Corona?
So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
This isn’t a beer belly, it’s a fuel tank for my love machine.
Baby, you’re the hot ass in my shot glass.
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Sure I could buy you a drink, but I’d be jealous of the glass.
What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.75, but deer nuts are under a buck.
Here’s 50 euro’s.
Drink until I’m good looking and then come talk to me.
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Hey! You owe me a drink.
I dropped mine when you walked by.
I see you’ve got some tequila’s.
Does that mean you wanna give me a shot?
I think all the bottles in this bar must be jealous, cause your beauty is the most intoxicating thing in this place.
I’m not drunk.
I’m just intoxicated by you.
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I definitely know you from somewhere…
I wouldn’t have forgotten you.
Beer is a popular beverage to millions of people worldwide. It’s one of those drinks that has a long history. We thought it would be amusing to offer you some beer jokes and one-liners in light of this. So if you liked these jokes, make sure to crack these humorous jokes to your friends or loved ones, and remember always to have a good time!
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