60th birthday jokes

75 Extremely Funny 60th Birthday Jokes

Congratulations, you’ve finally reached the wonder years… wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?

Retirement can feel like a secondary school summer excursion — you can rest late, spend time with companions, shop or play golf or head out to the films somewhere in the range between 9 and 5. Be that as it may, an investigation of 18,345 resigned folks, ages 50 to 70, uncovered a glaring error: Retirement happiness wears off. Within a couple of years, their joy experienced a plunge. The most joyful (and best) individuals seek after a reason or energy that genuinely makes a difference to them. This is the way to focus on yours.

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Laugh more here: FUNNY Kid Birthday Jokes

Funny 60th Birthday Jokes

In your 60s you still party too hard sometimes but carry the party into your bedroom. You probably take a daily vitamin but still need more calcium and should consider a B12 supplement. You need a blood sugar check and should move more but you should enjoy and have fun in your 60s still!

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Grey hair is a sign of wisdom, so you’re a genius!

Grey hair is a sign of wisdom, so you're a genius!


Don’t worry, they are not grey hairs, they are wisdom-highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.


You know you’re 60 when your back goes out more often than you do.


The tragedy of getting old: So many candles… so little cake


Old age… when “happy hour” is a nap!

Old age... when happy hour is a nap!


You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.


Getting older has some benefits… Call it a “senior moment” and you can get away with pretty much anything!


What goes up and never comes down?
Your age!

What goes up and never comes down Your age!


You know you’re getting older when an “all-nighter” means not getting up to pee.


Your favorite station on cable is the Weather Channel.


You shop at Target and Walmart for the great clothes.


The candles on your cake set off the sprinkler system.


When classic movies come on, your comments are: “She’s dead. He’s dead. They’re all dead.”


Your childhood toys sell for a fortune on eBay.

Your childhood toys sell for a fortune on eBay.


Funny Jokes About Turning 60

Whether you’re still working, starting a “second act” career, or even retired, you’re probably super busy these days. In my experience, everyone can benefit from having a clear sense of what they need to accomplish.

Making a list of items ahead of time gives you a sense of control and purpose to your day. This will help you feel more confident and empowered to handle whatever challenges come along.

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You know you’re 60 when someone offers you a seat on the bus. And you don’t refuse.


I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party!


The best part of being sixty is that you did all your stupid stuff before the Internet.


Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

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The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.

The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.


You know you’re 60 when you’re in an elevator when your favorite song comes on.


We’ll be friends ’til we’re old and senile… and then we’ll be new friends!


You know you’re 60 when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor’s office.


Forget age. Everything is dandy if you can still blow out your birthday candles.


Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live!

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live!


I’ve reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.


Congrats, you’re 60! Time to start yelling at the television.


One good thing about being 60: when you can’t find your eyeglasses, they’re almost always on your forehead.


At 60, fortune tellers read your face instead of your palm.

At 60, fortune tellers read your face instead of your palm.


Turning 60 Means

At the point when you turn 60 figure out how to be consistent with yourself. We make some noise and support what is important to us. We have procured our self-assuredness and we have gotten comfortable with ourselves.

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The quantity of gold in your mouth would make a decent retirement plan.


Not wearing bra tugs the wrinkles right out of your face.


Your parties never even wake up the dog, let alone the neighbors.

Your parties never even wake up the dog, let alone the neighbors.


Sucking in your gut can blow the hair right off the top of your head.


Boy scouts offer to help you cross your legs when you relax on a park bench.


When someone leaves a sexy lipstick message on your mirror, your first reaction is you wonder how to clean it off.


Your favorite classic rock is now elevator music.

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You wonder why the TV remote isn’t working, then realize it’s a cordless phone.


At the gym, you mostly do squats because of how they help you in the bathroom.


You still miss your high school car but can’t remember your classmates.


No More Tank Tops. It’s a rule.


Your pants creep upward as you get older. By 60 you’re a pair of pants with a head.


You can still chase women, but only downhill.


The old spark takes a little more blowing to get going.


You know your way around but you don’t want to go anywhere.


Your wife suggests you pull in your stomach and you get a hernia doing it.


You’re not only interested in automobile airbags, but you’ve also become one.


Aging Jokes

When you have been around to the point of knowing what your identity is and to such as yourselves. You have had to deal with a ton and have figured out how to transform preliminaries into treasures. It took a short time to see the value “in me being me”. But aging can be fun, too!

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You know you’re 60 when your back is hairier than your head.


Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get up again.


You know you’re 60 when you have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize.

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You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well pee while I’m here.”


With age comes skills, it’s called “multi-tasking”. Now you can laugh, cough, sneeze, fart, and pee all at the same time!


Don’t be upset about your birthday. Just think, you’re one year closer to getting the senior citizen discount!


You know you’re old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.


Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.


You know you’re 60 when a kid you once babysat is now your lawyer.


You know you’re getting old when the little old grey-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.


Those aren’t grey hair you see. They’re strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.


A little grey hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.


At 60 years old, your birthday suit requires regular ironing.

At 60 years old, your birthday suit requires regular ironing.


We put 60 candles on your cake, but by the time we got the last one lit, the first twenty had already burned out.


At 60, people call you “spry” and you’re not offended.


60th Birthday Quotes

Age is very subjective for the individual who is maturing. While our conditions will change, our inherent selves stay similarly as we progress from midlife to advanced age. It’s not difficult to feel like we’re in our forties when we are in our sixties. We’re better and more fit than past ages so our bodies don’t feel “old” by the same token.

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I was born old and get younger every day. At present, I am sixty years young.
– Herbert Beerbohm Tree


Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four?
– Paul McCartney

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four - Paul McCartney


When you’re 60 you start bragging about your age. How else are you going to get your senior discounts?
– Melanie White


At 60, “chasing girls” refers almost exclusively to granddaughters.
– Greg Tamblyn


At 60, two of the most important things in life are bowel movements and nose hair.
– Greg Tamblyn


60th birthday thrills: more pills, more chills, and more bills.
– Greg Tamblyn

60th birthday thrills more pills, more chills, and more bills. - Greg Tamblyn


Now that I’m 60, I wouldn’t want to be a teenager again. But I wouldn’t mind looking like one.
– Melanie White


When you’re 60 you start bragging about your age. How else are you going to get your senior discounts?
– Melanie White


Turning 60? Look on the bright side: you’re still younger than Mick Jagger.
– Greg Tamblyn


Age 60 is when it takes a man all night to do what he used to do all night.
– Anonymous


It took me a while, but I’m finally a 60-year-old senior. I wonder how much longer till graduation?
– Melanie White


Congrats – you’re 60! If you acted your age, you’d be schizophrenic.
– Melanie White


By the time you reach 60, lots of body parts are larger than they used to be. Especially your tattoos.
– Greg Tamblyn


Just saw this headline: “Godzilla turns 60.” Life was pretty good before I knew I was OLDER THAN GODZILLA.
– Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder


Turning 60 has nothing to do with performance – just the speed of performance.
– Melanie White

Turning 60 has nothing to do with performance – just the speed of performance. - Melanie White


Summary

An individual develops, learns, and develops in 60 years. That self-improvement typically gives us certainty, permits us to be more goal, and empowers us to explore the troublesome parts of existence effortlessly.

We don’t stress over others’ thought processes about us. At the point when you are clear and secure about what your identity is, others’ thought process doesn’t make any difference to such an extent. You have good expectations about what decisions best meet your needs and needs. You’re happy with yourself. Disregarding others’ opinions is a lot simpler. Laugh more here!

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I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh.