Plants are everywhere; you can see them inside an office placed on a desk or in your backyard garden. They are so important because they produce the oxygen that we need. If you love gardening and having plants around your house, then these garden jokes might be perfect for you and your green thumb buddies.
We have the best jokes that will undoubtedly tickle your funny bones and make your gardening experience even more unforgettable. Check out the lists below for a good time. Share these with your friends and make your garden a happier place!
Flower Garden Jokes
Read on if you’re searching for some witty garden banter. These jokes offer humorous caption inspiration for when you’re sharing photographs of your garden or flowers on IG. We’ve got you this list of flower garden jokes to make you laugh!
Laugh more with our BEST flower puns that are blooming with good vibes
What do you call an inn opened by a flower and a chef?
A bud and breakfast.
What did the bank-robbing flower say to its getaway driver?
What’s a flower’s favorite game to play on Halloween?
Light as a heather, stiff as a board.
What’s Miley Cyrus’ alter ego in the flower world?
What’s a gardener’s go-to pick-up line?
“You’re simply iris-istible.”
The password is flower…
But she keeps saying flour.
My wife complains that I never buy her flowers.
I didn’t even know she sold them!
Why did the king insist on lavender-scented food?
So his farts don’t stink.
Read more: Yummy and Funny Food Jokes
What type of garden do bakers usually have?
What flower in the garden is fiercest of them all?
The tiger lily.
What’s a pickle’s favorite type of flower?
What is a bumblebee’s favorite flower?
What do cartographers give to their loved ones on Valentine’s Day?
Probably compass roses.
What did the dog do on his walk in the park?
Peony on this tree, peony on that tree.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
“What’s up, little bud?”
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog and a rose?
How did the old rose make a living?
She went from house to house petaling her wares.”
Funny Gardening One Liners
Want some more garden jokes one liners? After a long day of working or watering and taking care of your plants, you may feel tired and exhausted after all that workload you did. Take a break and check out these gardening jokes one liners that can prevent you from feeling tired.
Why do gardeners plant bulbs?
So that the worms can see where they are going.
How did the garden movie get interesting?
Because eventually, the plot thickens.
What kind of astrology do gardeners believe in?
Read more: FUNNY Tree Puns and Jokes
Which rock song did the gardener listen to while plucking herbs?
‘Sweet Chive o’ Mine’.
How would trees calculate a square root problem?
They will use log-arithm.
Why did the gardener decline the job offer?
Because the celery was very low.
Why is The Hulk considered a very good gardener?
Because he has got green fingers.
What would be a gardener’s favorite Harrison Ford film?
Raiders of the Lost Bark.
How do you actually make an apple puff?
By chasing it around the garden.
Read more: Apple Jokes
What are the kinds of socks a gardener wears?
How long does it take for a gardening business to flourish?
You have to give it some thyme.
What would be a gardener’s favorite Beatles song?
Why did the gardener change his mind about gardening even though he wasn’t fond of it?
Because the plants grew on him.
Funny Horticulture Jokes
Looking for something to make you laugh? Well, we’ve got your back! Have a good time as you scroll down to these funny horticulture jokes. Impress your friends and family as you crack these hilarious jokes.
What helped the prostitute mend their ways?
They studied horticulture.
You can lead a horticulture,
but you can’t make her think.
Did you know that the Vatican is interested in horticulture?
They’ve been cherry-picking since the 4th century CE.
I’ve just passed my horticultural exam.
Now I have lettuce after my name.
If I grow peppers from other countries in my backyard,
Is it horticultural appropriation?
You can lead a horticulture.
But you can’t make her think.
You have to admit the most inclusive horticulture is bonsai.
cause it’s anti-bigger-tree.
Everyone loves to have a garden; whether you are a kid or an adult, gardening is fun. So if you’re looking for something to laugh about, here is our list of garden puns to help you become a cool green-fingered person.
Get a twiggle on
Seed between the lines
Your good weed for the day
Just the thicket
Peas and quiet
Don’t moss around
Never a dill moment
A day in the leaf
Flower of strength
That’s a bit mulch
Berry the hatchet
Herb your enthusiasm
Don’t stop the beetroot
All dressed up and nowhere to grow
Your good seed for the day
Eat, drink and be rosemary
All things must grass
Cutting it vine
You parsley the test
Want to see some landscaping humor? Here’s a compilation of amusing landscape jokes. There are a few landscape jokes that no one else knows that will make you laugh out loud. Take your time reading these puns, and make sure to share them with your pals. Don’t forget to have a good time!
Read more: HILARIOUS Plant Jokes That Are Absolutely Radishing
Why did the landscaper get fired?
He kept dropping his plants in public!
Why do conspiracy theorists make terrible landscape gardeners?
They’re too obsessed with inside jobs.
What’s the funniest landscape?
I hired a landscape gardener…
But he said he couldn’t help me because my garden was a portrait.
Asked a landscape gardener for a quote.
They said they couldn’t help me as my garden was the portrait.
How come landscapers have huge loads?
They are always edging.
My landscaper is also a paramedic
He told me he makes more money mowing my lawn than he would be finding me on my lawn having a heart attack.
Are you finding ways to make your garden much better? Or perhaps you’re looking for puns to stay away from boredom. Whatever brought you here, you certainly have enough of a passion for gardening to desire to sow the seeds of horticultural humor in your life. These landscape puns are just perfect for you. Check it out now!
Did you hear about the landscaper that got kicked out of college?
They found him changing grades.
What does Tony Hawk use to landscape his yard?
What did one angry landscaper say to the other?
Your grass is an ass!
What is the difference between a person who works in landscaping and someone who collects coffee?
One is a groundskeeper while the other is a groundskeeper
Did you hear about the teacher who ran a landscaping business during breaks?
He operated the grader.
What do you get when you cross Scandinavian landscapes with an American car company?
A fjord fusion.
What sort of money does need if you want to start your own landscaping business?
A hedge fund.
Read more: FUNNY Money Jokes
My neighbor got a patent on his smart home and thought-provoking landscaping.
It’s his intellectual property.
My kid was trying to start a landscaping business.
He just needed some seed funding.
Did you hear about the retired Sheriff who started a landscaping business?
He called it Lawn Order.
Why do landscaping companies hate the fall?
Everyone leaves work early.
There are many jokes about gardening, so why not take a look at our hilarious compost jokes that will genuinely make you laugh out loud! Here are some jokes for you that are truly nasty. Just a few amusing jokes about our recently turned-over compost heap.
I refuse to work with compost.
Where do all the recycled websites go?
What do you call a recycled shitpost?
What did the composting rapper say?
Break it down now y’all.
Why did John Phillip Sousa always get his leftovers to go?
Because he was a composter.
We’re done on jokes about gardening so let’s have a look at these gardeners jokes. If you’re finding a perfect joke to crack to your gardener friends, then you’ve come to the right place because we’ve rounded up these amusing gardener jokes that no one knows about. So sit back and relax as you scroll through these hilarious jokes!
How did the new gardeners learn gardening?
By trowel and error.
Where do farmers send their kids to study?
What was wrong in the garden, according to the landscape gardener?
The garden was a portrait.
What was lettuce told to do at a garden party?
To turnip the beet.
What did the gardener say at Thanksgiving dinner?
Lettuce be thankful for garden jokes.
Why did the garden owner get arrested?
Because he was disturbing the peas.
Why does Elton John not like Iceburg lettuce?
Because he is more of a Rocket Man.
What would make up a gardener’s favorite design of trousers?
Ones with turnips all over the trousers.
Where do farmers send their children to school?
I was really impressed with the gardener I met the other day.
He was outstanding in his field!
Why did no one laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corney!
What do you get when you cross a gardener and some trendy headphones?
Beets by Dre!
The gardener used to make loads of money from clearing lawns.
She was raking it in!
What new plant did the gardener sow?
The gardener’s tractor is magic!
He was driving it down the road and then turned into a field!
What is the gardener’s favourite book?
War and Peas!
Why did the gardener plant light bulbs?
He wanted a power plant!
Why did the gardener quit his job?
His celery wasn’t high enough!
Plant Jokes and Riddles
There are plenty of categories in plants to make jokes from. Whether it is a seed, a tree, or even a fertilizer, you can easily create a joke out of it. That’s why we’ve rounded up these amusing plant jokes and riddles that you’ve never heard before to make your day a fun one!
How do plants contact each other?
They use the te-leaf-one!
Laugh more: Funny Fall Jokes
What do you call a salad leaf that constantly goes to the gym?
What did Autumn say to Summer?
Make like a tree and leaf!
I saw a leaf that was shaped like a chicken.
I think it fell from a poul-tree!
Read more: Funny Chicken Jokes That Are So EGGS-citing!
What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A power plant!
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green!
Why can’t you iron a four leaf clover?
Because you shouldn’t press your luck!
How do plants make themselves heard?
I was worried that the plants were fake, but they weren’t.
That’s a real leaf!
My new leaf blower doesn’t work.
Gardening Jokes for Adults
We all knew it; being an adult is no joke. You get a lot of responsibilities and workload to do. So if you want to take a break and release all the stress you got, then these garden jokes for adults are just perfect for you!
Is that a stalk of chard in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I see you’re putting some flowers down in your new garden… how about you come plant one of them on me?
Hey sweetheart, do you like gardening?
How about you plant your tulips on mine?
If I got a rose each time I thought about you I’d keep walking in my garden forever.
Hope she says yes.
If I were your gardener…
I’d put your Tulips and My Tulips together.
Hey girl, do you garden?
Because I’m looking for someone who likes to get down and dirty.
I would go gardening but I left all my hoes for you.
Didn’t work but it sounds cool.
Gardening Jokes and Funny Stories
If you’re finding a way to impress your friends or tell your kids a funny story, then these gardening jokes and funny stories got your back. Take a look at the funny stories we have compiled, and feel free to use these jokes. Have fun!
A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise.
The fields were grown over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the fences were broken down.
During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work, saying, “May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it’s a completely different place.
The farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.
“Amazing!” the preacher says. “Look what God and you have accomplished together!”
“Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, “but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!”
A woman’s garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes won’t ripen.
There’s a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she’s getting tired of it.
So she goes to her neighbor and says, “Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?”
Her neighbor replies, “Well, it may sound absurd but here’s what to do. Tonight there’s no moon.
After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off.
Tomatoes can see in the dark and they’ll be embarrassed and blush.
In the morning they’ll all be red, you’ll see.”
Well, what the heck? She does it.
The next day her neighbor asks how it worked. “So-so,” she answers, “The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer.”
A man walks into a flower shop “I’d like some flowers please.”
“Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?”
He shrugs “Well I’m not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh…”
“Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?”
Summary: Funny Garden Jokes
We bet your gardening humour level up. I hope these garden jokes made you smile and laugh. From plants to flowers, it is amusing that you can make a lot of jokes out of these plants. These jokes may help farmers and gardeners to ease all the stress from gardening and taking care of their crops.
We all know that taking care of a garden is not an easy job to do, but if it is your hobby and you are having fun doing it, then there is no complicated task for you to do. Whether you are with green thumb or not, we can still have fun and laugh about these garden jokes.
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